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9 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Easily Show Affection

9 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Easily Show Affection

Love is a complicated subject, and it becomes even more complicated if the person you love isn’t showing clear signs of affection. My husband (then boyfriend) started out exactly like that. He was shy and rarely touched me. It wasn’t because he didn’t love me. That’s just the way he was. He wasn’t showy and he didn’t like public displays of affection.

Here are nine things that I took to heart when I got used to my inexpressive partner.

1. Love does not always require physical touch.

A kiss isn’t the only way to say “I care” and a hug isn’t the only way to show how much you missed a person. My partner’s presence was always appreciated, even if he didn’t snuggle with me all the time. As long as we’re together, no matter what we’re doing, we know that we are in love.

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2. The small things have the biggest impact.

When my partner wrote me a heartfelt letter on our first anniversary, it meant a lot to me. It was a long, handwritten piece which he wrote on pretty stationery. It was simple, childish, but it was the sweetest thing. It may not be worth much in terms of money, but it was truly valuable to me because I know that he spent time, thought, and effort to write such beautiful words.

3. “Sweetness” is a whole new concept.

What’s sweet to others will no longer be the same thing for you. When our relationship first started, I thought that my partner was so unaffectionate that he couldn’t show any sweetness. But his sweetness was really with his words and other gestures, like making me a cup of coffee when I’m pulling an all-nighter or buying my favorite cupcakes when I have menstrual cramps.

4. You will get asked a lot by well-meaning friends and family.

“Is your relationship on the rocks?” is what I frequently hear when I bring my partner to family events. My friends also tell me that my partner might not be happy anymore that’s why he’s avoiding me physically. In truth, my partner and I were the only ones who could understand his lack of physical affection. He may not always want to hold hands, but he will make sure I feel special whenever we’re together.

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5. Your relationship is often seen as platonic.

Plenty of times, my partner was mistaken for a brother or cousin. There have even been times when I was hit on in front of him, and vice versa. It’s an advantage, in a way, because I know which girls are interested in him. What’s great about him is that he never makes me feel insecure around them.

6. You get plenty of perks in lieu of physical affection.

I’m not materialistic and neither is my partner, but he likes to give me nice things to make me feel really special. On our third anniversary as a couple, he gave me a gorgeous pearl necklace that was absolutely amazing. Five years later, I still hold the necklace very dearly. He is also great at cooking which totally compensates for his lack of affection. When we fight, instead of hugging me, he cooks my favorite pasta dish to say he wants to make up.

7. You will grow to become more mature.

Young love is exciting but it’s also immature, filled with physical yearning and sexual impulse. We started dating in our mid 20’s and he was very mature. It’s not all about sex, but rather about your life together. He taught me to look forward to our future and that’s exactly what we did. Now, we have been married for three years and it’s the most wonderful experience.

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8. Your time together is always special.

I have learned that his presence alone makes up for his lack of intimacy. He loves to talk about our future, especially our dreams together. He always makes complicated issues simple and amicable which helps us understand what we both want to do. Our time is spent sharing our deepest desires, which I think is more meaningful than just physical affection.

9. When physical affection happens, it’s magical.

On the rare occasions that you do touch, especially when you make love, it’s a magical experience that’s truly memorable. You grow closer to each other and learn a little bit more about yourselves which ultimately strengthens your bond. You are also able to prove that your love doesn’t need constant physical signals to be genuine.

Although it can be hard at first, loving someone who isn’t expressive may take time to get used to. In the long run, you will also understand why it’s not necessary for your partner to always hold hands or cuddle when you’re together. Love can be expressed in many ways, from a simple smile to a generous act of kindness. It doesn’t have to always be physical. It can be emotional, mental, spiritual, and psychological.

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How do you show your partner how much you love them?

Featured photo credit: 12 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Easily Show Affection via google.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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