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Differences Between Being Happy and Being Comfortable in a Relationship

Differences Between Being Happy and Being Comfortable in a Relationship

You’re probably asking yourself: “What’s so wrong with being comfortable?” While I agree there’s nothing wrong with being comfortable at times in your life (especially after a long day’s work), I want to focus on what happens when you become comfortable and stay comfortable — in your relationship.

As with everything else in life, too much comfort can be detrimental to your overall well-being. And when you’re too comfortable in your relationship, it could end up falling apart.

1. Comfort is indifference. Happiness is fulfilling.

Ever since you were little, you were probably inundated with the idea that when you find someone to be with you’ll end up living “happily ever after.” This notion of “happily ever after” makes it seem as if there’s nothing more to strive for after you’ve met the person of your dreams; you’ll just live out your days in complete comfort. In reality, getting into a routine will only breed indifference.

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Happiness, on the other hand, means that each day is a new chance to explore your love for each other in some way, fulfilling each others’ wants and needs through new experiences that you share together.

2. Comfort is nonchalant. Happiness is exciting.

When you become comfortable with a person, you stop seeking out the exciting moments in life. Things become too casual, and, as mentioned before, routine. You go through the motions of your relationship — dates, dinners, picnics, family parties, etc. — but aren’t really happy about any of it.

On the other hand, when each of these moments creates an exciting memory to treasure for a lifetime, you know you’ve reached happiness within your relationship.

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3. Comfort is ambivalence. Happiness is a surety.

So many of us stay in a relationship simply because it’s better than being alone. Obviously, that’s no way to live. It might be comforting knowing you have someone to come home to at night, but if that someone is just anyone, then what’s the point? Being in love with the concept of being in love is not the same thing as being in love with a person (I’ll give you a second to reread that convoluted sentence, but trust me — it makes sense!).

When you’re truly happy in a relationship, you are absolutely certain that the person you’re with is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you’ll do everything in your power to keep them by your side.

4. Comfort is stagnant. Happiness is always growing.

Think of when you’re most physically comfortable. My guess is it has to do with sweatpants and a couch, right? But when lying there, you’re not doing anything to improve your life. It’s okay to stop and appreciate the moment every once in a while, but relationships need to constantly evolve for them to mean anything.

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Whereas comfortable couples are content with “the way things are,” couples in happy relationships always look toward the future, thinking of engagement, marriage, children, and a life fully lived together.

5. Comfort is easy. Happiness is worthwhile.

Going back to the whole notion of “happily ever after,” we’ve unfortunately been conditioned to think that true love doesn’t take any effort once it’s achieved. Once you get the girl or find your prince, the rest of your life should supposedly be smooth sailing. Well, that’s not the case.

However, that’s not such a bad thing. When a relationship becomes too easy, it’s most likely because you’ve both stopped putting your all into it. You’ve become complacent, ambivalent, and stagnant. Growing together is hard work, and it should be.

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The amount of effort you put into your relationship is what makes all the amazing things that come with it so incredible.

Featured photo credit: Goodluz via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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