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8 Reasons Why People Who Love Gardening Are Good Lovers

8 Reasons Why People Who Love Gardening Are Good Lovers

“It was such a pleasure to sink one’s hand into the warm earth, to feel at one’s fingertips the possibilities of the new season.”

– Kate Morton, The Forgotten Garden

Gardening is an act of love, of the most pure form. It is an act of love you perform with Mother Earth. Moreover, it is an act that teaches us to love life in all the different forms it takes.

People those who are gardener at heart, they possess lots of great virtues. They are a unique blend of patience, vision, creativity, wisdom and kindness. And, their never ending propensity to love is surely among those qualities.

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Here below are some reasons that illuminate the fact that people who love gardening are good lovers and convince you that if you’re dating them, you’re doing absolutely right.

1. They have the ability to make deep connections.

One foundation for a long lasting relationship is deep bonding between partners. A deep relationship focuses on affection for what people are at the core of their heart instead of their financial and social positions.

People who are fond of gardening are far more likely to have deep connections with their partners than those who are not. This is because they have deep connection with plants, earth and the garden itself, which extends to human relationships as well.

2. They are patient.

Lovers of gardening are the folks with great deal of patience. It obviously takes a lot of patience to get hands dirty in the field, spending hours caring for the plants, when it takes a long time for the fruits of all those hard work to appear.

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Patience is an important virtue of a good lover. When in relationship, you surely will have to exhibit a good deal of patience from waiting him/her to reply back to enduring difficult stages in the relationship.

3. They love to be out in the open air.

Although indoor gardening is a fairly valid notion, when we refer to ‘gardening’, we generally mean ‘outdoor gardening’. And, regular practitioners of gardening are the ones who love to be out in the open air.

So if you are an outdoor lover, you’d also prefer someone who loves to spend time with nature and in those who have a soft corner for gardening, you exactly have that. As such, you have endless choices of activities if you go out with them.

4. They take good care of their other halves.

Love flows through the veins of gardeners. They don’t just love plants, generally their love extends to all the living things. By nature, they are caring people and you are far less likely to feel neglected in their company.

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With their natural tendency to care for their partners, with them, you’ll have a steady and blissful relationship. They will be there with you through your joys and through your sorrows. They are not surely of the bunch that’s only making constant demands.

5. They are highly active.

Folks who have a passion for gardening ooze with energy and dynamism. They are always willing to toil in the field and not just when it’s a holiday. In the garden, they’re always doing one thing or another. This drive extends to other activities as well.

For a vibrant and lively relationship, you’d obviously want active people, those who are constantly looking to do something. They never run out of ideas and enthusiasm to have a good time with you. This extends to bed also.

6. They have good mental and physical health.

Gardening is rousing and invigorating. Gardeners are physically active and gardening is a fun way to do exercise without even knowing you are doing it. Gardening also uplifts the mood and releases endorphins.

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Great health offers major boost to the relationship.  It ensures they can have smooth relationship without hiccups. Being healthy also means you are able to take good care of yourself as well as your significant other.

7. They are satisfied with their lives.

People who enjoy gardening are content with their lives and are less likely to exhibit signs of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Gardening is a great pastime that makes one feel their life to be worthwhile. There is a sense of organic optimism in gardeners.

Happy people are capable of filling other’s lives also with happiness. You’d surely want to date such people. They will always raise your spirits and make you feel valuable. You wouldn’t surely want to be with people who are always complaining.

8. They are kindness personified.

Gardeners are the epitome of kindness. They are sensitive beings who don’t want to harm others. They are kind to plants, birds, animals, children and every other thing. Compassion for others is probably their most important trait.

And, kind people certainly make good lovers. Thoughtfulness for the feelings of the partner secures deep bond with them. Gardeners with kind heart are not to let go of as you won’t find someone as understanding and considerate as them.

Featured photo credit: wavebreakmedia via shutterstock.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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