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5 Confucius Quotes To Guide Your Life

5 Confucius Quotes To Guide Your Life

Confucius was an important influential teacher and philosopher of the Spring and Autumn period of Chinese history.
Confucius works emphasized not only the significance of intellectual development and belief, but also how to lead a moral, happy, and peaceful life.

This practical approach is one of the reasons why his quotes and teachings widely resonate with the people of the modern world.
You may well have come across Confucius words in inspirational books, pictures, and motivational quotes shared on the internet.

Let’s take a look at some of Confucius’ most famous quotes and how they can help us today – right here, right now. When we read inspirational quotes it can be quite easy to simply flick through thirty or forty and feel briefly inspired, only to then move onto the next thing. Here, we are going to look in detail and reflect on five so they can resonate, move us, and help us gain experience in our life.

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1) “Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”

Our stress and anxiety arise because we spend much of the time thinking about what could happen in the future or what has happened in the past. This makes it very challenging to appreciate the present moment. Our life is passing us by so quickly, so in this fast-paced world we multitask to keep up. Mindfulness practice helps to draw us into the present moment to appreciate where we are. This quote perfectly leads us to the present moment. Listening to the sounds around us, experiencing being in our body, and observing our breathing can help us to discover, that here we truly are.

If we are truly present in each moment we can extract the greatest meaning from our life.

2) “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Is life as complicated as we feel it is? It is, when we have a myriad of conflicting thoughts flying through our mind, with health, financial, and relationship worries troubling us. To have a simple life it may seem as though we need to leave or abandon our complications. However, if we recognize that the complications in are life are arising from our mind, then we are empowered to lead a simple life by changing our mind. In particular, by doing one thing at a time. When we eat, we eat; when we walk, we walk; when we talk, we talk; and when we listen, we listen.

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Pacifying the multitasking approach to the activities in our life can start to bring simplicity to our existence.

3) “Silence is a true friend who never betrays.”

Learning to cultivate silence in our mind is one of the most important skills that we can learn. There are many different types of silence. When our mind is silent and peaceful then we can be content in any situation. It’s easy to blame a situation for the way that we are feeling; however, it’s our mind that is responsible for our experience. If we can cultivate a peaceful mind then we can continually feel good and positive within. If we know how to silence the mind then we have a very strong ally. Sometimes our friends don’t help when things are challenging, simply because they don’t have the wisdom to know what to say or how to say it. Whereas, if we know how to cultivate a silent mind then this can keep us strong during life’s difficulties.

4) “It is not the failure of others to appreciate your abilities that should trouble you, but rather your failure to appreciate theirs.”

Of course, it can be disappointing if we feel under appreciated by others or criticized. It can even bring our confidence levels down.
One approach is to follow this advice from Confucius. Instead of focusing on what others should be thinking about us, we change our view and start to focus on how we think about them. We should take time each day to appreciate how others are helping and assisting us in our life. If we are feeling adventurous, we can even appreciate those who challenge us in someway.

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Instead, we need to adopt the thinking of ‘this person is helping me to practice patience and grow as an individual.’

5) “The journey with a 1000 miles begins with one step.”

This is one of Confucius most well-known quotes and has almost become so used it has nearly lost its meaning. However, it’s so well known for a reason. For example, I teach Meditation and one element of the training that I am continuously emphasizing is to simply make a start. Rather than feeling that we can only can start practicing when we have a free thirty minutes each day to train, we can think instead, “Today I will do a short practice, even if it’s just for a few minutes.”

Make that first step. Begin the process and start to establish the habit. If we keep making those short steps, then gradually overtime we start to make progress. This approach can be applied to any form of learning – just make that first step!

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So, a big thank you to Confucius for offering his inspirational words to our world, which are still just as relevant, being used and appreciated several thousand years later!

Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jiazi/ via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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