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10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer is a legend in the field of psychology, personal development, and self help. His caring, gentle style of reminding us of the incredible power we have within to manifest our dreams has been felt by millions around the world. Although Dyer passed in August, his message of compassion, love, and courage will continue to live on in the hearts of his students. Here are 10 powerful life lessons we can learn from Wayne Dyer.

You define your path

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

You will never be able to control someone else’s actions, but you can always control your own. You are not here to respond and react, you are here to manifest your best, moment by moment. Get comfortable always taking the high road, life is better there.

The world is a mirror

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” – Wayne Dyer

Of course, there is plenty of negativity in the world, but it’s our job not to get consumed by it. Wherever there is war there is fighting, but there are also people risking their lives to take care of one another. Contrary to the news reports, there are amazing, compassionate, and miraculous things going on all over the world, every single day. Be the love you want to see in the world.

Focus on what’s inside

“When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.” – Wayne Dyer

Never get bored of the inside work. Life is won from within. It’s easy to be positive when everything is great at work, with your family, and you just got paid. But what do you show when stress, frustration, and disappointment are running wild in your life? Continue to practice compassion, love, and patience — so, when the times get tough, that’s what you exude.

Surround yourself with great people

“Friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family.” – Wayne Dyer

We can’t always choose our family, but we can always choose our friends. Make the commitment to surround yourself with people who bring out your best, encourage you, make you laugh, have your back, and who you can trust. We are the sum total of the people we spend our time with, so make sure you are around only quality people.

Enjoy your own company

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne Dyer

You don’t have to be an introvert to enjoy your own company. Psychologists have found that having regular alone time is actually incredibly healthy for you. When you’re alone, you get to think deeply about your life and tap into your true voice. You can’t fall in love with who you are if you don’t know who that person is.

Enjoy your journey

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” – Wayne Dyer

We are all working towards something and it’s critical to enjoy that process. It’s very easy to get focused on the result and lose focus on the journey. It’s the skills you have learned, the relationships you have made, and the experiences you have gained that makes the journey worth it. Don’t rush it.

Compassion always wins

“When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace.” – Wayne Dyer

Whether it’s in a relationship, business deal, or working with others in general, making it work is always more important than being right. Of course you want to express yourself and be true to who you are, but many times we interpret being “right” with “winning” an argument. The “right” answer always brings peace, even when it’s difficult.

Control your perspective

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Our perspective directly impacts our attitude. If we find the positives in any given circumstance, we feel good. If we focus on the negatives, we can feel anxious and overwhelmed. If there is a certain task that we must do every day, and we hate it, we will experience pain every day. If we are able to see that task differently, find some new meaning and value in it, then it changes. Our perspective isn’t fixed and we can change it at any time.

Remember that you’re not alone

“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” – Wayne Dyer

Have you ever taken a moment to think about all the great people who have come before you? Whatever it is you are going through or working towards, someone has paved the way — research and study them. You are not alone on any journey. And, when you feel like you are, that’s a sign to connect with the people fighting the same fight as you.

Expect great things

“I am realistic – I expect miracles.” – Wayne Dyer

Expect great things from yourself and from life. Rumi once said to “live life like it is rigged in your favor.” But of course, life will not always seem that way. In order for great things to happen, we can’t just think about it, we must do, and then do more. Great things come from great work. See yourself as capable of doing great things, even if they are small to start.

Featured photo credit: awak.org via mediad.publicbroadcasting.net

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Jeffrey Moore

Director of Student Life, Founder of Everyday Power

wayne dyer 10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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