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10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer is a legend in the field of psychology, personal development, and self help. His caring, gentle style of reminding us of the incredible power we have within to manifest our dreams has been felt by millions around the world. Although Dyer passed in August, his message of compassion, love, and courage will continue to live on in the hearts of his students. Here are 10 powerful life lessons we can learn from Wayne Dyer.

You define your path

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

You will never be able to control someone else’s actions, but you can always control your own. You are not here to respond and react, you are here to manifest your best, moment by moment. Get comfortable always taking the high road, life is better there.

The world is a mirror

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” – Wayne Dyer

Of course, there is plenty of negativity in the world, but it’s our job not to get consumed by it. Wherever there is war there is fighting, but there are also people risking their lives to take care of one another. Contrary to the news reports, there are amazing, compassionate, and miraculous things going on all over the world, every single day. Be the love you want to see in the world.

Focus on what’s inside

“When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.” – Wayne Dyer

Never get bored of the inside work. Life is won from within. It’s easy to be positive when everything is great at work, with your family, and you just got paid. But what do you show when stress, frustration, and disappointment are running wild in your life? Continue to practice compassion, love, and patience — so, when the times get tough, that’s what you exude.

Surround yourself with great people

“Friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family.” – Wayne Dyer

We can’t always choose our family, but we can always choose our friends. Make the commitment to surround yourself with people who bring out your best, encourage you, make you laugh, have your back, and who you can trust. We are the sum total of the people we spend our time with, so make sure you are around only quality people.

Enjoy your own company

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne Dyer

You don’t have to be an introvert to enjoy your own company. Psychologists have found that having regular alone time is actually incredibly healthy for you. When you’re alone, you get to think deeply about your life and tap into your true voice. You can’t fall in love with who you are if you don’t know who that person is.

Enjoy your journey

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” – Wayne Dyer

We are all working towards something and it’s critical to enjoy that process. It’s very easy to get focused on the result and lose focus on the journey. It’s the skills you have learned, the relationships you have made, and the experiences you have gained that makes the journey worth it. Don’t rush it.

Compassion always wins

“When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace.” – Wayne Dyer

Whether it’s in a relationship, business deal, or working with others in general, making it work is always more important than being right. Of course you want to express yourself and be true to who you are, but many times we interpret being “right” with “winning” an argument. The “right” answer always brings peace, even when it’s difficult.

Control your perspective

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Our perspective directly impacts our attitude. If we find the positives in any given circumstance, we feel good. If we focus on the negatives, we can feel anxious and overwhelmed. If there is a certain task that we must do every day, and we hate it, we will experience pain every day. If we are able to see that task differently, find some new meaning and value in it, then it changes. Our perspective isn’t fixed and we can change it at any time.

Remember that you’re not alone

“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” – Wayne Dyer

Have you ever taken a moment to think about all the great people who have come before you? Whatever it is you are going through or working towards, someone has paved the way — research and study them. You are not alone on any journey. And, when you feel like you are, that’s a sign to connect with the people fighting the same fight as you.

Expect great things

“I am realistic – I expect miracles.” – Wayne Dyer

Expect great things from yourself and from life. Rumi once said to “live life like it is rigged in your favor.” But of course, life will not always seem that way. In order for great things to happen, we can’t just think about it, we must do, and then do more. Great things come from great work. See yourself as capable of doing great things, even if they are small to start.

Featured photo credit: awak.org via mediad.publicbroadcasting.net

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Jeffrey Moore

Director of Student Life, Founder of Everyday Power

wayne dyer 10 Valuable Life Lessons To Learn From Wayne Dyer

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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