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9 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone

9 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone

People these days think that you owe them a lot. That being around them means that you have to imbibe certain things that work for them. But how can you do all that and still keep your self-esteem and self-worth in check? You have a right to do what you feel like doing as long as you have not committed a crime. And if people can’t live with that, whether they are your friends, family or relatives, you should emphasize your space and what you deserve. You cannot live your life according to the standards and expectations of others.

1. You don’t owe anyone your outward appearance

Your body belongs to you. And how you present it to the world is entirely up to you. Whether you have tattoos that are conspicuous and look ridiculous, or dyed your hair to an outrageous color, your body belongs to you. And whatever opinion others have of you is their business.

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2. You don’t owe anyone how many kids you want

Whether you want to have one child, or ten children, or don’t want to have any, it is your right to be the parent you want to be. We shouldn’t try to appease anyone when it comes to such heavy decisions.

3. You don’t owe anyone friendship

You have the choice to choose who you want to associate with. Many times the wrong friendships could be detrimental to your success. Why spoil it because you want to look cool and seem acceptable? If someone doesn’t share your values or has no common interest with you, you don’t owe that person friendship.

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4. You don’t owe anyone personal information about your life

Your life is your responsibility and not anyone else’s. Why should you provide an answer to every question thrown at you that wants you to reveal personal details about yourself?

5. You don’t owe anyone commitment

If you don’t want to be committed to someone or a project, don’t. Feeling that every commitment has to be done because it is a debt makes you a slave. You don’t owe anyone a commitment that will sideline your dreams and aspirations.

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6. You don’t owe anyone an apology if it really means nothing to you

Every apology should mean something to you. If you are asking for someone’s understanding and forgiveness when you are not sorry about what you did and it is really not going to make a difference, it serves no purpose at all. Certain people expect that we should apologize all the time for mistaken actions, but that doesn’t work.

7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of how you spend your time

Whether you are spending your time playing video games all day or you prefer to spend your time alone, you don’t have to explain why to anyone. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of how best you should spend your time and the intent behind the way you spend your time.

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8. You don’t owe anyone a favorable reaction to what is presented to you

You don’t owe anyone a positive reaction to what they put forward to you. Whether it will make them feel good or not, you should be more concerned about how you feel about something. Honesty should work for you on such situations.

9. You don’t owe anyone an acceptance of the religious or political beliefs

Your belief system should be based on what works best for you. And this should be founded over time based on what you feel is right or wrong. You shouldn’t be coerced into a religious or political affiliation because you are trying to gain acceptance. Validation of such things should come from within and not without.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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