Advertising
Advertising

15 Promises All Couples Should Be Able to Make to Each Other

15 Promises All Couples Should Be Able to Make to Each Other

If you’ve found a person you can truly see yourself growing old with, you’re going to need to make some promises to them. It’s important that you keep these promises throughout your relationship in order to continue building a trustful and loving foundation throughout both of your lifetimes. Among others, the following vows are meant to show just how much you care for your significant other, and how dedicated you are to your relationship.

1. I promise to listen.

Relationships are built around communication, and communication is a two-way street. If you want your voice to be heard, you must also be sure to listen to what your mate has to say. Be open-minded, and try to see things from their perspective. Doing so will open the door to true understanding.

2. I promise to learn.

Relationships are hard work, especially if you’ve never been in a serious one before. There is a lot to learn about how to treat a person you love, how to live with them, and how to grow together. You’ll make mistakes along the way, but as long as you learn from them together, your relationship will continue to flourish.

Advertising

3. I promise to let you be you.

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. And neither does your significant other. Don’t try to change them into the person you wish they were. You wouldn’t be in love with them if they were different. Let them continue on their path, and stick by their side at all times.

4. I promise to let you grow.

As each person in a relationship is still an individual, you should both be free to grow as people, too. Don’t hold the person you love back from following their dreams. Know that they want to grow in order to better support you, and have faith that their hard work and long work days will eventually pay off for your family.

5. I promise to live for us.

Remember, you’re now living for a family, not just yourself. You shouldn’t make major decisions without consulting your significant other—but that’s not a bad thing. Discuss your wants, needs, hopes, and dreams together, and build your relationship upon a common ground.

Advertising

6. I promise to find time.

No matter how hectic life gets, you should always find time to spend with the one you love. Don’t get complacent in your relationship. Even after a long day of work, you should always want to take your mate out for ice cream or a movie. Don’t let time slip away; it’s the one thing you can never get back.

7. I promise to work as a team.

Mix up the chores. Do the food shopping. Wash both cars. Don’t ever think of a task as “my job” or “my wife’s job,” “men’s work” or “women’s work.” You’re in this together; act like it.

8. I promise to save things for just us.

After a while, some experiences just aren’t the same without your significant other next to you. You’d never watch your favorite TV show without him or her, and they’d never go to your favorite restaurant without you. Some things are special because they’re only meaningful when you’re together.

Advertising

9. I promise to care about your interests.

When you love someone, you’ll find yourself having fun at times you thought you’d be bored out of your mind. Buy tickets to a Broadway show, even if you would never go to one without her. Bring him to a football game, even if you don’t even understand the rules. You’ll end up making memories that will last a lifetime.

10. I promise to show you off.

Never get tired of making it clear to the world that you love this person. Hold their hand in public, and introduce them to new friends and coworkers as “my wife” or “my husband” or “my fiancé.” Talk about them constantly, even when you know it’s driving other people nuts. They’re worth it.

11. I promise to keep trying to win you.

Just because you’ve found “the one” doesn’t mean you can’t lose them. Do something every day that surprises them, or makes them feel worthwhile. Bring them flowers, clean the house, surprise them at work- anything at all to keep things fresh. By doing so, you’ll be proving your worth as well.

Advertising

12. I promise to never get into a routine.

Like I said: keep things fresh. Add some spice to life. Try to do something new every week. Take a class together, or go for a walk. Do a puzzle or play a game. Don’t get into the habit of coming home, eating dinner, and just watching TV together. Make memories every single day.

13. I promise to always pick up the phone.

Don’t ever let a call from your significant other go to voice mail if you can help it. Sure, they always call on their lunch break or when they get out of work, but you never know if the next call you get will be an emergency. Show them that they’re your number one priority at all times.

14. I promise to love your family as my own.

When you fall in love, you’re not just adding one person to your circle of loved ones. You also add their entire family, and you should want to be a part of their circle, as well. Learn their traditions, and visit them during the holidays. Be an aunt, uncle, big brother or big sister.And be true to them as you would your own flesh and blood.

15. I promise to keep you.

Keep your significant other close. Keep them with you at all times. Keep them on your mind, and in your heart. Keep them from danger, and keep them from falling. Keep them in your life for as long as you both live.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm5.staticflickr.com

More by this author

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart 14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next