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15 Promises All Couples Should Be Able to Make to Each Other

15 Promises All Couples Should Be Able to Make to Each Other

If you’ve found a person you can truly see yourself growing old with, you’re going to need to make some promises to them. It’s important that you keep these promises throughout your relationship in order to continue building a trustful and loving foundation throughout both of your lifetimes. Among others, the following vows are meant to show just how much you care for your significant other, and how dedicated you are to your relationship.

1. I promise to listen.

Relationships are built around communication, and communication is a two-way street. If you want your voice to be heard, you must also be sure to listen to what your mate has to say. Be open-minded, and try to see things from their perspective. Doing so will open the door to true understanding.

2. I promise to learn.

Relationships are hard work, especially if you’ve never been in a serious one before. There is a lot to learn about how to treat a person you love, how to live with them, and how to grow together. You’ll make mistakes along the way, but as long as you learn from them together, your relationship will continue to flourish.

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3. I promise to let you be you.

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. And neither does your significant other. Don’t try to change them into the person you wish they were. You wouldn’t be in love with them if they were different. Let them continue on their path, and stick by their side at all times.

4. I promise to let you grow.

As each person in a relationship is still an individual, you should both be free to grow as people, too. Don’t hold the person you love back from following their dreams. Know that they want to grow in order to better support you, and have faith that their hard work and long work days will eventually pay off for your family.

5. I promise to live for us.

Remember, you’re now living for a family, not just yourself. You shouldn’t make major decisions without consulting your significant other—but that’s not a bad thing. Discuss your wants, needs, hopes, and dreams together, and build your relationship upon a common ground.

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6. I promise to find time.

No matter how hectic life gets, you should always find time to spend with the one you love. Don’t get complacent in your relationship. Even after a long day of work, you should always want to take your mate out for ice cream or a movie. Don’t let time slip away; it’s the one thing you can never get back.

7. I promise to work as a team.

Mix up the chores. Do the food shopping. Wash both cars. Don’t ever think of a task as “my job” or “my wife’s job,” “men’s work” or “women’s work.” You’re in this together; act like it.

8. I promise to save things for just us.

After a while, some experiences just aren’t the same without your significant other next to you. You’d never watch your favorite TV show without him or her, and they’d never go to your favorite restaurant without you. Some things are special because they’re only meaningful when you’re together.

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9. I promise to care about your interests.

When you love someone, you’ll find yourself having fun at times you thought you’d be bored out of your mind. Buy tickets to a Broadway show, even if you would never go to one without her. Bring him to a football game, even if you don’t even understand the rules. You’ll end up making memories that will last a lifetime.

10. I promise to show you off.

Never get tired of making it clear to the world that you love this person. Hold their hand in public, and introduce them to new friends and coworkers as “my wife” or “my husband” or “my fiancé.” Talk about them constantly, even when you know it’s driving other people nuts. They’re worth it.

11. I promise to keep trying to win you.

Just because you’ve found “the one” doesn’t mean you can’t lose them. Do something every day that surprises them, or makes them feel worthwhile. Bring them flowers, clean the house, surprise them at work- anything at all to keep things fresh. By doing so, you’ll be proving your worth as well.

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12. I promise to never get into a routine.

Like I said: keep things fresh. Add some spice to life. Try to do something new every week. Take a class together, or go for a walk. Do a puzzle or play a game. Don’t get into the habit of coming home, eating dinner, and just watching TV together. Make memories every single day.

13. I promise to always pick up the phone.

Don’t ever let a call from your significant other go to voice mail if you can help it. Sure, they always call on their lunch break or when they get out of work, but you never know if the next call you get will be an emergency. Show them that they’re your number one priority at all times.

14. I promise to love your family as my own.

When you fall in love, you’re not just adding one person to your circle of loved ones. You also add their entire family, and you should want to be a part of their circle, as well. Learn their traditions, and visit them during the holidays. Be an aunt, uncle, big brother or big sister.And be true to them as you would your own flesh and blood.

15. I promise to keep you.

Keep your significant other close. Keep them with you at all times. Keep them on your mind, and in your heart. Keep them from danger, and keep them from falling. Keep them in your life for as long as you both live.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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