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8 Sweet And Intimate Ways To Show Your Love

8 Sweet And Intimate Ways To Show Your Love

Just because spring is over doesn’t mean love isn’t still in the air. But just because you say you love someone repeatedly doesn’t make it so. True love is shown through your actions. Of course, words can be a part of it, but if you don’t put in any extra effort, those words are simply air flying through the breeze.

My wife and I have been together for almost a year, and we still always kiss goodnight, say I love you before leaving the house, and text each other randomly throughout the day just to say we miss each other. Sure, if I wasn’t in love, I might find what I just said way too mushy. But I care way too much for my wife to let what other people might think get in the way of me showing her how much I love her.

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If you truly love someone, show them you do by:

1. Touching more

Holding hands isn’t just for those who have recently fallen in love. You should always want to grab your mate’s hand as you walk down the street, or to the mall, or just while you’re sitting on the couch watching TV. Small public displays of affection that are simple and quick show your partner you care. While I’m not advocating for full-on make-out sessions at the grocery store, there’s nothing wrong with hugs or pecks here and there to remind your love just how much they mean to you.

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2. Being silly

What’s the point of having your best friend around all the time if you can’t act ridiculous around them? Get into water gun fights or tickle wars, no matter how old you are. Poke fun at each other (in good taste, of course), and don’t get upset when it comes back on you. Plan elaborate pranks that will keep you both on your toes. Use your relationship as a gateway to reminding each other how much fun it was to be a carefree like when you were first in love.

3. Giving gifts and planning surprises

Don’t wait for anniversaries or holidays to give gifts. The best presents are the ones given off-the-cuff, like when you were out at the store and saw something you just knew you had to buy for your love. Surprise movie or dinner dates on a Thursday can liven up a relationship more than you realize. Always go that extra mile to show you were thinking of your significant other.

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4. Sending love notes

I mentioned my wife and I text each other to say “I miss you” at random, but it doesn’t hurt to go the extra mile and leave handwritten notes hidden around the house. Or you could go even further and mail out a letter that’s simply to be returned to your home expressing your happiness and love. When you put your words down into writing, you’ll realize just how much you really do care about them.

5. Listening to them

You’ve had a long day, and you just want some peace and quiet. Then the phone rings, and you have to hear about the absolutely atrocious day your significant other had. Don’t blow them off with stock responses like “Yea, that’s awful” or “You gotta be kidding me?” Actually listen to what they’re saying. Help them find a solution to their problems. Truly connect with them, even on their worst days. They’ll appreciate your sincerity, and will be there when you need to vent.

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6. Giving thanks and praise

I just started experimenting a bit more with my cooking. While I don’t really care much how my food tastes, and would be happy eating whatever is in the pantry, I thrive off of knowing my wife enjoyed a meal I prepared. At the same time, I work hard to prepare these meals so she can come home and relax. We never take each other for granted, and always give sincere thanks to each other when something is done for us.

7. Take time to enjoy each other

We live in a busy world. It’s important that you take the time to appreciate your significant other. Spend quiet time together to reflect on your memories and plan for your future together. You don’t want to get caught in a rut because life has gotten in the way. Set other obligations aside every day to spend time with the one you love, even if it’s a few fleeting moments of bliss.

8. Continue to grow together

You’re both individuals with independent goals, but you’ve come together because you want someone to share your accomplishments with. As you grow as an individual, be sure to grow with your significant other as well. Don’t wait for something magical to come along that will tell you when to make the next step; be the catalyst, yourself. You may have your own goals in life, but when you’re with someone, you should always work toward a common end together.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

More by this author

Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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