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14 Seemingly Trivial Things That Make You Happy Every Day

14 Seemingly Trivial Things That Make You Happy Every Day

Happy people know that mindset can be the most important piece to the happiness puzzle. Once you understand that your happiness is not reliant on external things like clothing, career, and dress size, you can focus on cultivating happiness from within.

Here are some simple habits you can adopt to change your mindset and increase your happiness.

Get a good night’s sleep

It’s not rocket science: sleep affects mood. After a sleepless night, you may be more irritable and vulnerable to stress. After a good sleep, your mood returns to normal. Humans don’t function well when they are sleep deprived.

Studies have shown that people who are not getting enough sleep lack the adequate levels of the hormone hypocretin, which has been proven to govern joy and happiness. This means that having a good sleep contributes directly to your happiness.

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Spend time in nature

According to a recent study, people who spend 30 minutes a day outdoors report a significant increase in their sense of wellbeing, vitality, and energy, while feelings of stress and negativity, along with sleep disturbances, were all reduced

Drink, touch, and float in water

Neuroscientists, poets, and biologists have all linked our brains to water. Water soothes us, reduces anxiety, and connects us to nature. Water consumption increases our brain’s ability to transmit information. The sensory stimulation of touching or floating in water relaxes us. Even the sound of water can soothe.

Smile

The recent discovery of mirror neurons has proven what happy people have long known: if you are surrounded by smiling happy faces, your brain responds by causing you to smile. The brain secretes the chemicals to increase your happiness when you smile. So, smile and notice the world smiling back.

Make eye contact

Social connection is one of the keys to happiness. The simplest way to establish connection is with eye contact during conversation or just in passing. I like to practice making meaningful eye contact as a way to spread happiness everywhere I go.

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Adopt a good attitude

Optimism is a state which correlates with, but is not identical to, happiness. If you are a person who is looking forward to a life “half-full” rather than “half empty,” you will have a better chance of obtaining more life satisfaction and enjoyment, more satisfying work and marriage, better health and longevity.

Be present

People who meditate report higher levels of happiness, but until recently there was no proof that the meditation was causative. That was, until Matt Killingsworth built an app, Track Your Happiness, that let people report their feelings in real time. Among the surprising results: we’re often happiest when we’re lost in the moment. On the flip side, the more our mind wanders, the less happy we can be.

Dream big dreams

One’s sense of purpose is deeply entwined with happiness. People who have big dreams and actively work towards them are happier. So, surround yourself with other dreamers and with people who are your cheerleaders.

Connect with “your” people

These are the people who are on a similar path and inspire you to keep going. I call them my tribe. You can find your tribe on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, at school, at work, or at the gym. People who feel connected feel happier.

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Enjoy good food

Deepak Chopra advises you to ask yourself: “What am I hungry for?” then really listen to your body. Eating a balanced diet of fresh food makes you feel better, and it tastes great too. It’s amazing how much junk food is consumed simply because we think we don’t have the time to eat well. Nourish your body. It will thank you.

Notice moments of intuition

When the telephone rings and you know it’s your mom, or when you think of a friend you haven’t seen in years and then run into them the very next day — this is your intuition. Develop awareness of things that appear coincidental and start to trust that they aren’t. You will begin to trust your gut instinct with confidence. This self-awareness brings a sense of bliss, which is closely related to happiness.

Listen to music

When you play a song and chills run down your spine, savor this feeling. The ability to be powerfully moved by music is like a little vacation from your daily routine. Think of it as a mini spa for your soul.

Exercise

In addition to being great for your physique, exercise also initiates the release of chemicals that increase positive emotions. Get out and hike, run, swim, or try some Zumba, and notice how quickly your mood changes.

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Laugh

The chemicals released by your body during laughter are transformative and healing. Find time every day for a little bit of laughter.

Happiness is a practice. Just like going to the gym or eating a healthy diet is a lifestyle, so is living a happy life. Once you begin to cultivate the practices to support your happiness, you will begin to notice changes in your relationships, your career, and your attitude.

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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