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Never Underestimate The Power of Believing in Yourself

Never Underestimate The Power of Believing in Yourself

You’ve probably been told to believe in yourself multiple times in your life. While you may not have taken it too seriously, there is power in that advice. Believing in yourself sets the foundation for your journey on the road to success. It can be the motivation you need to get yourself out of a funk.

When you believe in yourself, you:

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1. Talk yourself up internally

When you believe in yourself, you reinforce the notion that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. This may seem fairly obvious, but so many of us are filled with crippling self-doubt that hinders us from even taking the first step toward success. Rather than having an inner monologue revolving around whether you can accomplish a certain task, your positive mindset reaffirms the belief that you’re a fully capable human being with many talents.

2. Talk down your fears

Just as you talk yourself up by believing in yourself, you also erase any self-doubt you have in your mind. When you stop talking yourself up, your mind wanders to questions that may stop you in your tracks: What if I don’t succeed? What if something goes wrong? What if people don’t like my idea?

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Yes, there are a million things that could go wrong, and trying something new might not always work out. Without believing in yourself, it can seem like there are a million ways to fail and only one way to succeed. Don’t sabotage yourself before you even get the ball rolling.

3. Reflect on past success

No matter how much you’ve failed in your life, you’ve undoubtedly experienced success in a variety of ways. When you believe in yourself, you constantly look back on all the times you’ve used your talents to do well in your life. Not only do you recognize your successes, but you also frame your failures simply as times your efforts didn’t pay off. Those that constantly look down on themselves often let their failures haunt them, prohibiting their ability to try something new and improve their lives.

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4. Think realistically

When you believe in yourself, you see your actions from a variety of perspectives. You’ll see how your efforts impact others in a positive way and you’ll understand how important you are to your community. Furthermore, you’ll also see how little your mistakes matter. Nobody truly cares enough to laugh at you or judge you when you mess up. People have enough problems of their own. Most people are just too busy with their own lives to waste time thinking about anyone else. When you believe in yourself, it’s okay to inflate your own self-esteem and worthiness, but you should never exaggerate the way that others perceive you.

5. Count your victories

Just as you reflect on your past successes, you’ll also start to see how many small victories you really have had throughout your life. Every time you make progress in life, you’ve won. In fact, every single day you’re alive is a day that you have won. Just because you fail at times does not mean you’ve lost. This just means your victory has been put off for the time being. When playing a game, you either win or lose. In life, even when you fall short of your goal, you can find a small victory in your efforts.

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6. Celebrate yourself

When you talk yourself up and believe in yourself, you’re celebrating your life. When you count every small victory you’ve ever experienced, you’re throwing yourself the opposite of a pity-party. Too many times, we focus on the negative aspects of ourselves and get caught up in a loop of detrimental thinking. Believing in ourselves helps break that cycle. We begin to see all of our weaknesses as aspects to be improved, all our strengths as reasons to celebrate.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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