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How To Deal With Confusion And Find Success In Life

How To Deal With Confusion And Find Success In Life

The path to success is a long road full of twists, turns, peaks, and valleys. While on this road, you’ll almost certainly find yourself stuck in a quagmire of confusion and be unsure of which direction to turn.

Even though you’ll feel stranded, remember that it happens to everyone; you’re not alone. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you’ll get through whatever problem you’re facing only if you persevere.

If you turn back, you’ll be giving up all the potential success you could have possibly attained had you simply stepped back and assessed your situation. When life throws you a curve ball, you should always heed these pieces of advice in order to properly deal with confusing situations.

Analyze your goals

When you started out on your journey, you most likely had a set of goals you aimed to accomplish. Of course, you were most likely incredibly eager to get on the path toward success that you might not have spent much time actually thinking these goals through.

When you hit a bump in the road, you should always check your premises before forging ahead. Ask yourself:

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– Are my goals practical?

Anything can be achieved if you put your mind to it, but once you achieve your goals, will you be able to put them to good use? Are you studying biology to become a biologist, or because you just like to learn about plants and animals?

Make sure your goals are actionable. After all, once you attain them, you’ll soon set even more goals with even higher aspirations. Make sure that the next step you take will open another door for you to walk through.

– Are my goals realistic?

Will practicing guitar three hours a day really make you world famous? By all means, follow your passion, but you should definitely have a backup plan in case your big dreams turn out to be pipe dreams.

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– Will my goals change?

This is a tough one, because it’s hard to know what your priorities will be five or 10 years down the road. When I was 18, I thought I wanted to be a teacher, and even planned on sacrificing having a family of my own in order to help other children and families who needed me.

When I met the woman who would later become my wife, that all changed. Of course, in the meantime I earned two degrees relating to education that I may or may not ever use. At least I can write, right?

Appreciate your efforts

Every time you accomplish something, you’ve improved upon the person you were the day before. Even if you’re not doing exactly what you thought you’d be doing with your life, you can appreciate the experience you gain on a daily basis.

Think about it: If you’re stuck in a job that you never saw yourself doing, but you’re doing it well enough to stay employed, you must be doing something right. And, of course, you shouldn’t just look to your job to make meaning of your life.

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Look to other aspects of your life, such as your friends, family, and hobbies to define yourself. You might not be on the path you thought you’d be on, but you certainly can consider yourself a success for accomplishing all that you have done in your life.

Try, fail, and try again

Failing at something is not a roadblock. Rather, it’s simply a bump in the road on the path to success. If you treat failure as a roadblock, you won’t get very far.

You never know how close you are to finding success, so you should always keep pushing, especially when faced with the sting of failure. Furthermore, you should redefine your failings as learning experiences.

When you fail at something, you’ve gained knowledge you didn’t have before (even if that knowledge is “Well that didn’t work!”). Take that knowledge with you when you get up to try again, and you’ll be able to attack the issue through an improved perspective.

Find a balance in life

Like I said before, you might find yourself on a path you never thought you’d be on, and you might not even want to be on. You can’t simply pause or restart your life from the last save point, to borrow a video game term. But it’s never too late to start working toward a different path.

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Think of a hobby you gave up a long time ago and pick it back up, even if it takes a little extra effort after a long day’s work. Of course, you have obligations in your life that need to be fulfilled, but you should never completely give up everything you enjoy because life got in the way.

Keep your passion alive, and you’ll find moments to enjoy every day of your life.

Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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