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8 Habits Everyone Should Take Up In Their 30s To Lead A Fulfilling Life

8 Habits Everyone Should Take Up In Their 30s To Lead A Fulfilling Life

Do you want to improve your quality of life? There are many small steps you can implement on a daily basis to improve the overall quality of your life.

Habits pose great influences on the quality of life and your 30s should be a critical point to take up good habits. After all, the older we are, the more reluctant we are to changes.

From changing your mind-set to making steps to become healthier, check out these eight habits everyone should take up in their 30s to lead a fulfilling life.

1. Start To Laugh At Yourself

Learn to laugh at yourself and the insanity of life around you. Being able to find humor in bad situations shows optimism and strength.

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New research has actually shown that stress can shorten your life, damage your DNA and lower your overall happiness, so learning to laugh at yourself actually has health benefits.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People

Avoid comparing yourself to the other people in your life; studies from the Health Psychology Review have found out that comparing yourself to others can influence your physical and emotional heath. Your success is not measured by others’, but it is measured by your own happiness.

You may struggle to find peace with yourself if you are always focusing on what others have, and there are no benefits to being so hard on yourself. Instead, spend your time thinking about your own happiness goals and how you will achieve them.

3. Appreciate Your Loved Ones

Many people spend their 20s focused on getting a good education and starting their careers, and for some people their friends and family can become lower priorities. Your 30s can be a great opportunity to work on your current relationships while reconnecting with old friends. There are emotional benefits to being thankful; Harvard Health Publications discovered that being thankful can actually make you happier.

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These are the best people in your life, so support them with their goals, cheer on their successes and comfort them when they fail, and you will see the same support shown to you.

4. Keep A Record Of Your Life

Your life is the most interesting story you will ever live; it is important to document the special moments. From keeping a journal to filling photo albums with pictures, there are many different ways that you can document your life.

The science backs it up, too; A recent study published in Psychotherapy Research found that there are both physical and emotional benefits to writing in a journal. As you get older, these saved memories will make you laugh and smile more and more.

5. Start To Save Money

Saving money is a good habit to start in your 20s, but an essential one to start in your 30s, with millions of Americans having little to no money saved up. It is as simple as spending less than you make – try to get into the habit of living below your financial means.

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As you get older, you want to be able to relax and enjoy yourself, but without savings, this is very difficult. Put aside money for emergencies and a even a new home, as well as your retirement fund to guarantee less financial stress in your later life.

6. Try To Maintain A Healthy Weight

Try to keep your weight at a level you know is good for your body. Try to exercise three times a week and eat healthy, but don’t overdo it; you want to be at a healthy weight that is easy for you to maintain.

Rather than trying to lose a lot of weight, studies show that there are more health benefits to maintaining a healthy weight, such as lower risk of heart problems and blood pressure.

Learn to cook healthy meals that taste delicious, so healthy eating can become a habit rather than a chore.

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7. Learn From Your Errors

You will have made mistakes already in your life, and it is very likely you will make more in your 30s – and that is totally OK. Mistakes are experiences that shape you and help you to grow as a person, but studies show making mistakes (and learning from them) can actually make you smarter.

Try to learn from your mistakes, and try to accept responsibility for them – this will make you wiser and an even better problem solver.

8. Achieve A Big Goal

There are probably vague goals you plan on achieving during your lifetime, from buying a house to getting a degree in Physics, and now is the time to go for it. Many people put off achieving their goals as they feel they have unlimited time, but big goals often take a long time to achieve.

Studies show that writing down your goals can help you to achieve them, so get out a piece of paper and starting writing a financial plan for your goals – how long will it take you to achieve them? How much money will it cost? Can you start right now?

Can you think of any other habits that everyone should take up in their 30s to lead a fulfilling life? Comment your ideas below!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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