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15 Differences Between Positive People And Negative People

15 Differences Between Positive People And Negative People

As you know, it is a drastically different experience being around positive people versus negative ones. If you are striving to be more positive yourself, here are 15 ways you can do so:

1. “Failure is part of learning.”

Positive people view failure as an opportunity to learn and get better. They understand that failure is an event, and doesn’t define who they are. Negative people are emotionally disabled by failure because they allow it to define who they are. They fail to understand that it’s part of the learning and growing process.

2. “I can do hard things.”

Positive people love to be challenged. They understand that there is no growth without struggle. Positive people embrace difficulty, and look for ways to overcome them. Negative people love the easy road. Because obstacles increase the likelihood of failure, they try to avoid them like the plague. To negative people, hard times don’t make you, they break you.

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3. “I always give my best.”

Positive people focus on giving their best effort, regardless of the situation. They understand that there are many things they cannot control, but effort is not one of them. No matter what, the positive person strives to give their best — even if it isn’t much. Negative people want things to come easy to them. If they have to try hard, they believe they just aren’t good at it and give up. They are more likely to give their absolute best if they know people are watching them.

4. “She is inspiring!”

Positive people are inspired by the success of others, they look at those who are excelling and ask themselves the question, “What can I learn from them?” Negative people become jealous and threatened by the success of others. To negative people, when others succeed it means they are failing.

5. “What can I do better?”

Positive people embrace feedback. Because they are always striving to get better, they are open to learn anything that will enhance their skill set. Negative people get offended when they receive correction or feedback. Instead of seeing it as means to improve, they interpret feedback as a sign of their incompetence.

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6. “I give power to what I focus on.”

Positive people focus on things they can control. They understand that their happiness is dependent on how they choose to respond to what happens to them. Positive people believe that they give power to what they focus on, so they use it wisely. Negative people center their focus on things they can’t control. For example, they ruminate over past conversations, beat themselves up on past mistakes, and allow their fear of the future to stop them in their tracks today.

7. “People can change.”

Positive people know that the only thing that doesn’t change is change. They believe that they can change, and that other people can change. Negative people believe that people are fixed; therefore, they don’t try to improve because they believe, “What’s the use?” Additionally, negative people don’t allow others to change. Once a negative person puts a label on something, it’s very difficult for them to see it in a different way.

8. “I still have a lot to learn.”

Positive people love to learn. They understand information evolves, and what used to work 10-years ago, might not be effective today. Negative people believe they know it all, and are less likely to welcome new information if it contradicts what they believe. They care less about what’s right, and more about who’s right.

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9. “Let’s go big!”

A positive person isn’t afraid to swing for the fences because they don’t fear striking out. A negative person not only thinks small, but they also try to convince others that their dreams and aspirations are too big.

10. “Have you heard about [insert name]?”

Positive people build others up when they aren’t around. Negative people tear people down to make themselves feel good.

11. “I am my own worst enemy or best friend.”

Positive people have effective self talk. They are aware of the story they tell themselves, and don’t allow their own thoughts to discourage them. Additionally, they are realistic with their expectations. Positive people don’t feed themselves lies about their weaknesses or how difficult the situation is. Instead, they tell themselves what they need to do to succeed. Negative people are their own worst enemy. They struggle to see the bright side of anything, even if they are successful. They are also masterful at focusing on all the negative aspects, and diminishing their own confidence.

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12. “What is my body saying?”

Positive people carry themselves like champions. They are purposeful in the way they interact with people and their facial expressions show positivity. Negative people carry themselves small. They hang their heads, and look down. Just by looking at them, you would think they are mad, sad, or indifferent — definitely not happy.

13. “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

Because they are team players, positive people will get behind and support ideas that are not their’s — even if they might disagree with it. Negative people have a hard time fully supporting ideas they feel won’t be successful. When an idea that wasn’t their’s doesn’t succeed, they are sure to give their teammates the “I-told-you-so” expression.

14. “What’s the bright side?”

Positive people have an attitude of gratitude. They can see the good in a situation, and don’t take things for granted. Negative people struggle to see the silver-lining in difficult situations. They don’t often take the time to stop and notice the positive aspects of a situation.

15. “You’re so good!”

Positive people like to spread positivity. They pay close attention to when others do well, and they are quick to tell them. Negative people say, “Why would I compliment people for things they are supposed to do?” What they don’t understand is, it’s not about the compliment, it’s about showing the other person that you notice them. A simple compliment can strengthen relationships and motivate the person to do even better. Positive people don’t underestimate the power of encouraging words.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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