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10 Signs Of Truly Confident People

10 Signs Of Truly Confident People

Confidence is a fruit of knowledge and attitude.

It is a cornerstone of every great success and its cheap version, cockiness, happens when confidence is stripped of either of its parts. Cockiness stinks, doesn’t it?

True confidence on the other hand attracts. But why?

Because the keys to our greatest realisations are often held by confidence. We are all born with it, but sometimes setbacks snatch it away. And so we seek, until we encounter someone who reminds us of what we can be. That someone, or those someones are confident people. You are either one, or on your way to become one.

You can recognise them by their contagious peace, their joie de vivre and a combination of the following traits:

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1. They Display Composure

Composure opts for reason instead of emotions. Composure is emotional control, and emotion control is why confident people are usually the last to panic or the only ones not to.

Although they feel pain like anybody else, confident people approach it by taking action instead of remaining on the receiving end of awful. They imagine themselves as having been through the situation before, and provoke their best reaction by asking this simple question: How would a confident person handle this?

As a result they remain cool, calm and collected.

2. They Are Not Easily Offended

Simply because they know their worth.

Just like calling a cat a car will never make it one, confident people know that they only are who they choose to be. Insults and remarks that do not agree with their self image they ignore, because to them, being defensive is a drain on mental resources. “Why spoil a beautiful smile?” -says every confident person.

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3. They Speak With Authority

Authority comes with knowledge and experience. And like I mentioned earlier, knowledge is one of the foundations of confidence.

It is because I know, or because I know that I don’t know, that I speak. Either way, I know.” From this premise, confident people approach every conversation free of doubt and rich with assurance. That is why their voice shows firmness from the very first seconds of any conversation, which research has shown to be the most critical for perceiving authority.

4. They Celebrate Others

Because they know their place in life, they are not frightened by the light in others. Rather, they nurture it, lift others up and encourage them to stay there. From a confident person’s vantage point, a confident speech comes after a confident sound engineer did his job, to which he was driven by a confident bus driver, who was encouraged by a confident husband. Everyone wins when we all do well.

5. They Are Decisive

One of the biggest fuels of procrastination and therefore failure, is indecision. For example, when questions like “When should I start?” and “When should I approach?” linger for long, they often translate to never.

So to avoid never, confident people choose to choose, thereby setting in motion the happy cycle of decisiveness.

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How does it work? Choices either produce victories which make you more confident, or lessons which increase your knowledge and therefore confidence. Because your confidence is built, choosing becomes easier and you become even more decisive. Thus, the happy cycle of decisiveness.

6. They Focus On Their Strengths

A sure way to beat confidence out of you is to focus on everything that makes you small, rather than everything that elevates you. Unfortunately, that is something our minds tend to naturally do. One of the ways confident people overcome this is by having a list of their strengths, which they happily remind themselves every time they start to feel down.

7. They Take Initiatives

…but you might be thinking this the other way round, so let’s make it clear. Initiatives do not always come from confidence, but the act of taking initiatives builds confidence. By taking initiatives you discover what your limits are and how you can push them, which ultimately puts you in control of the most powerful tool in existence: Yourself. Is it a coincidence that confident leaders are very self aware? No.

If you wish to build your confidence, start things. Most importantly, start small.

8. They Maintain An Open Body Posture

A closed posture says “I’m not sure of your intentions, please do not come”, while and open posture says “I believe you cannot harm me, so come, I welcome you.” That is why people tend to give up their defences in the presence of confident people. They make others feel at ease.

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Although the list of what constitutes good posture has been discussed ad nauseam, like good manners, a little refresher is always welcome. Here are 5 tricks to make your posture more inviting:

  • Lean into conversations, not back.
  • Show your palms from time to time when talking to a crowd.
  • Maintain eye contact with the people you talk to.
  • Avoid crossing your arms during meetings. Instead, keep them apart.
  • When you smile, go all the way. Engage those eyes and forehead. Be genuine.

9. They Are Loving & Humble

Love requires accepting people for who they are since values are always relative anyway. Confident people have grown to love and accept themselves so much, that the practise of it has made them perfect. Hence they tend to open arms, welcome others and smile with and without reason. With them, it is always your day, rarely ever their day. They stay humble.

10. They Never Stop Learning

Let me say it one more time. Knowledge fuels confidence and ignorance fuels doubt. To nurture the confidence which they have worked so hard at building, they keep learning. But learning has other advantages for confident people: It helps them understand others better, understand themselves better and understand life better. Coincidentally, the more they learn, the less they judge others.

In Closing,

Let me say this. Confidence is not a have or not-have. It is not switched on, it grows. Starting the journey is all it takes to have a step into it. From there, the only limit is yourself. Now go ahead and make the step, you’ll find me somewhere along the way.

More by this author

Pat Evrard

Pat shows people how to become their best self and achieve lasting greatness.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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