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10 Reasons Why “Success” Should Be Banned From Our Vocabulary

10 Reasons Why “Success” Should Be Banned From Our Vocabulary

“Success.” It’s a word that we use all too often. There are thousands of self-help books about how to achieve that illusive “success”, how to earn the most money, and how to reach all our goals ahead of the curve. However, with this intense focus, are we just missing what’s important?

Here’s 10 reasons why you should throw that dirty little word into the trashcan with the rest of the rubbish:

1. It implies anything but your one true goal is failure

Your dream job is a “success.” It’s the goldmine we strive for. Passing exams, getting into University, passing more tests – these are the measures of success. But what about each time you smile throughout any given day, hour, pr minute? Happiness should be the aim – not mere success.

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2. You miss out on the journey

When your gaze is set on the top of that hill, the beautiful scenery, and the fun conversations all get left by the wayside and forgotten. Sometimes the grass is bright green exactly where you are. Enjoy what you’re doing.

3. Those annoying connotations

A huge part of success is the connotations society has inflicted upon the word. We think “success” and we think money, a big house, 2 cars, three holidays a year, a spouse, beautiful children… You get the picture. It’s all very shiny and nice but it’s not necessarily your ideal. Make success what you want it to be.

4. It makes you force things

We all have that panic – the quarter-life crisis after University, the mid-life crisis at middle-age, then the terrified regrets at retirement resulting in sudden and expensive cruises around the Globe. Let’s all take a deep breath. Life should be a natural process. Don’t change career paths for the sake of it, don’t do another degree and spend a fortune because “that’s where the money is” or “there’s a future in this subject.” Stick to your guns, do what feels right, and don’t let the anxiety of one word take over.

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5. You’ll compare yourself to others

You’ve all been told this before (I hope), but here it is again: be yourself. Fine, most of your friends are married, your younger cousin has beaten you to manager, and you’re still stuck a rung below on that ladder. Don’t ask yourself: what’s so good about them? What’s wrong with me? That’s where bitterness lies. Everybody’s path is different, so focus on the constructive: what’s in my way? How can I make the most of what’s in front of me?

6. You might even be cruel

Don’t step on someone else to move a rung up the “success” ladder, you’ll just fall down a few rungs in the long run. If you get to the top of the pyramid you’ve had your sights on, but didn’t deserve to get there, it won’t feel like success. And it won’t be “success.” Plus, who knows who will be jumping up behind to push you off.

7. Frustration is always involved

It’s hard to be patient when we want one thing so badly. A year goes by, maybe two, and still no promotion. We get snappy at home, we break some Bics at work, or total the laptop against the wall after another rejection on E-Harmony. It shouldn’t be this way. Let’s all be at peace with who we are.

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8. Self esteem crash

It’s tricky to remember how amazing we are when all we notice is how far from “success” we are, when all we find are rejection emails in our inbox. Applying for jobs can be demoralizing, just like the dating world. So, nurture your poor ego, spend time with friends who know how amazing you are, and don’t start an obsession with those bullet-point lists. You are experienced, you are great for the position, and you are a catch.

9. Self-involvement

Don’t become obsessed with your prospects, your lifestyle, your bank account, or your relation to friends. You’ll miss that time your partner fell off her stool in the bar, your son’s first steps, or you’ll never find that beautiful spot in the park down the road.

10. What happens when you reach the top of the mountain?

If “success” is your only aim, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t spend your life searching for what will make you happy. Spend your life finding happiness in exactly what you’re doing, otherwise you’ll wish your life away and wonder where on Earth all those days went? And what for?

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Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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