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10 Reasons Why “Success” Should Be Banned From Our Vocabulary

10 Reasons Why “Success” Should Be Banned From Our Vocabulary

“Success.” It’s a word that we use all too often. There are thousands of self-help books about how to achieve that illusive “success”, how to earn the most money, and how to reach all our goals ahead of the curve. However, with this intense focus, are we just missing what’s important?

Here’s 10 reasons why you should throw that dirty little word into the trashcan with the rest of the rubbish:

1. It implies anything but your one true goal is failure

Your dream job is a “success.” It’s the goldmine we strive for. Passing exams, getting into University, passing more tests – these are the measures of success. But what about each time you smile throughout any given day, hour, pr minute? Happiness should be the aim – not mere success.

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2. You miss out on the journey

When your gaze is set on the top of that hill, the beautiful scenery, and the fun conversations all get left by the wayside and forgotten. Sometimes the grass is bright green exactly where you are. Enjoy what you’re doing.

3. Those annoying connotations

A huge part of success is the connotations society has inflicted upon the word. We think “success” and we think money, a big house, 2 cars, three holidays a year, a spouse, beautiful children… You get the picture. It’s all very shiny and nice but it’s not necessarily your ideal. Make success what you want it to be.

4. It makes you force things

We all have that panic – the quarter-life crisis after University, the mid-life crisis at middle-age, then the terrified regrets at retirement resulting in sudden and expensive cruises around the Globe. Let’s all take a deep breath. Life should be a natural process. Don’t change career paths for the sake of it, don’t do another degree and spend a fortune because “that’s where the money is” or “there’s a future in this subject.” Stick to your guns, do what feels right, and don’t let the anxiety of one word take over.

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5. You’ll compare yourself to others

You’ve all been told this before (I hope), but here it is again: be yourself. Fine, most of your friends are married, your younger cousin has beaten you to manager, and you’re still stuck a rung below on that ladder. Don’t ask yourself: what’s so good about them? What’s wrong with me? That’s where bitterness lies. Everybody’s path is different, so focus on the constructive: what’s in my way? How can I make the most of what’s in front of me?

6. You might even be cruel

Don’t step on someone else to move a rung up the “success” ladder, you’ll just fall down a few rungs in the long run. If you get to the top of the pyramid you’ve had your sights on, but didn’t deserve to get there, it won’t feel like success. And it won’t be “success.” Plus, who knows who will be jumping up behind to push you off.

7. Frustration is always involved

It’s hard to be patient when we want one thing so badly. A year goes by, maybe two, and still no promotion. We get snappy at home, we break some Bics at work, or total the laptop against the wall after another rejection on E-Harmony. It shouldn’t be this way. Let’s all be at peace with who we are.

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8. Self esteem crash

It’s tricky to remember how amazing we are when all we notice is how far from “success” we are, when all we find are rejection emails in our inbox. Applying for jobs can be demoralizing, just like the dating world. So, nurture your poor ego, spend time with friends who know how amazing you are, and don’t start an obsession with those bullet-point lists. You are experienced, you are great for the position, and you are a catch.

9. Self-involvement

Don’t become obsessed with your prospects, your lifestyle, your bank account, or your relation to friends. You’ll miss that time your partner fell off her stool in the bar, your son’s first steps, or you’ll never find that beautiful spot in the park down the road.

10. What happens when you reach the top of the mountain?

If “success” is your only aim, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t spend your life searching for what will make you happy. Spend your life finding happiness in exactly what you’re doing, otherwise you’ll wish your life away and wonder where on Earth all those days went? And what for?

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Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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