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Top 16 Stephen King Quotes To Inspire Everyone

Top 16 Stephen King Quotes To Inspire Everyone

I first became interested in Stephen King not by reading his novels, but by reading his book On Writing. I was in my late 20s and finishing up my bachelor’s degree in education. I had an English minor with one more composition class to take. To fulfill this requirement, I found myself in a creative writing class.

I wrote to my heart’s content in that class, until I finally confessed in my journal that I had always wanted to be a writer but was talked out of it. That was when my professor gave me Stephen King’s book to read and I eagerly devoured it. I learned then that King has a lot of wisdom for aspiring writers, but the truth is that he also has a lot of relevant quotes for everyone.

The quotes that I am about to share can be found—with many other words of wisdom from Stephen King—on the Chris Jones Blog, Positive Writer, and Brainy Quote. Here are some of my favorite Stephen King quotes:

1. “I have spent a good many years since―too many, I think―being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all.”

This quote speaks about writing, but it also says a great deal about the lack value that society sees in escapism. Reading fiction is an escape. It can be a much more vibrant escape than watching television or movies, and a much healthier escape than drugs or alcohol. There are times when all of us need a break from the world, to give our minds a rest. A great novel can do just that.

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2. “Fiction is the truth inside the lie.”

This is an excellent quote, because, again, it speaks to the value of fiction. We often think of fiction as “just stories,” but every story tells a lesson about life. Often, the messages behind the stories that we read are more powerful truths than anything we read in the newspaper.

3. “Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well.”

Stephen King said some wonderful things about writing, and this quote is especially powerful. Writing is first and foremost about the writer. It is a need that a person has, and it is a passion that enriches the writer’s life. Of course, this has the fringe benefit of bringing growth and happiness that is contagious. When we read something that is written from the heart, we can’t help but be changed by it.

4. “Let me say it again: You must not come lightly to the blank page.”

This quote is about writing, but it applies to all of life. It is about acting with intention.  We should think about what we are doing at all times and move with a purpose. So often we travel through life mindlessly, and in doing so we miss out on the opportunity to create something amazing.

5. “The scariest moment is always just before you start.”

Many times in life, we find ourselves standing on the diving board, ready to jump into the pool. This moment before we jump is terrifying. Once we begin, once we start taking steps toward our goal, it is much less scary.

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6. “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”

Again, starting is half the battle. Being willing to take that leap is the move that takes the most courage. After doing that, persevering through obstacles is nothing. If you are willing to take the leap and willing to never give up, you will eventually experience success.

7. “Optimism is a perfectly legitimate response to failure.”

Failure is such an arbitrary and meaningless concept. Who decides what constitutes a failure or a mere setback? We are ultimately the ones who declare “failure,” and we definitely have the option see things differently. If we view failure as yet another obstacle to overcome, learn from whatever went wrong, then get back up and try, we will be once more on the road to success.

8.  “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”

The only monsters that exist live inside us. They are those voices in our minds that tell us we can’t do it, that we aren’t good enough. They are the voices that compare us to others, the voices that become jealous. But, what we don’t understand is that these voices are saying what they do in misunderstanding. If we clear up the misunderstandings that our minds have, then the monsters will never win.

9. “Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.”

Art exists because of life, but art also influences and enriches life. The goal of anyone who creates is to make something that will challenge the views of the person seeing it. Sometimes, this is a comfortable experience, and sometimes it is not. If something that has been created causes you to feel anything—joy, happiness, sadness, or even anger—then the creator has done their job.

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10. “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.”

When you want to do something, the key is to just get up and do it. So many people have great ideas for starting businesses, writing books, creating websites, and more. And so many of these people have not even taken the first step toward making their vision a reality. The perfect moment will never come. The key is to just get started anyway.

11. “Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.”

Persevering is key in life. There will be days when you don’t want to get out of bed, when you are in the mood to just walk away from it all. But to be successful, you have to keep moving. On these days, the answer is to focus deeply on what needs to be done and just keep taking one step after another.

12. “The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.”

There is a danger in being too trusting, in not questioning all that you see and hear. Not everything that is published is gospel truth, and not every word that is spoken on television should be believed. The most vulnerable people are those who are easily misled. Take the time to check the facts, and question everything that does not seem right to you.

13. “Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.”

We all want to protect those we love. Sometimes, that means telling white lies, or even larger lies, in an effort to keep them from getting upset. This is how relationships work, and it is our expectation. Sometimes, it takes an “enemy”—someone who senses no duty to protect your feelings—to tell the cold, hard truth. Hearing the truth can be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes it is what we need to hear. Sometimes that wake-up call comes from the most unlikely of sources.

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14. “The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings — words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.”

Words are powerful, but there are so many experiences that defy explanation. Explaining to someone how much you love them, expressing condolences, or advocating for a cause you believe in can be extremely difficult, because finding the right words to convey the passion that is in your heart is nearly impossible. As incredible a tool as language is, it can’t come close to expressing the experiences that make up this thing that we call life.

15. “We make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones.”

Fiction is escapism. We read and we create in order to help us escape from the challenges in life, and sometimes we choose to read and write tragic and horrific stories to help us deal with the horrible events that occur in reality. It doesn’t matter how difficult or easy our lives may seem on the outside, the truth is that each one of us has lived through the worst experience that we have even seen. All we have is our experience, and sometimes taking our mind off it can help us to cope and to process.

16.  “A lot of us grow up and we grow out of the literal interpretation that we get when we’re children, but we bear the scars all our life. Whether they’re scars of beauty or scars of ugliness, it’s pretty much in the eye of the beholder.”

Nobody gets through life unscathed. We are all affected by our experiences, and we develop vulnerabilities and misunderstandings as a result. We can choose to see ourselves as “damaged,” or we can choose to see ourselves as survivors who are learning and growing everyday. Whether our scars are physical or emotional, we can choose to see them as scars of beauty, rather than as scars of ugliness.

Everybody has a great deal to teach about life, if we are willing to learn the lessons. Stephen King teaches not only through his stories, but also through the wisdom that he shares directly. I am grateful that I read that book in college, and that I chose to learn the lessons found within.

Featured photo credit: Public Domain Pictures via publicdomainpictures.net

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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