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What Price Are you Willing To Pay To Live Your Dream?

What Price Are you Willing To Pay To Live Your Dream?

We all had dreams and aspirations early on in our lives. Those dreams that made our eyes lit up when we spoke about them to others. But how many of us are still focused on those dreams after life knocked us to the ground a few times or took us to different places or after the people we trusted abandoned us?

Many times life takes us to unfamiliar territories and our dreams fade. We move through life, but our dreams are left behind while we sacrifice, bleed, sweat, and fight to make others’ dreams come through.

Some of us got married, had children, got a job and those dreams that brought us such excitement and happiness are no longer a priority. We put our dreams and aspirations on hold. We are so focused on all the other things life throws our way that we have forgotten why we are here.

Life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. We, therefore, have to make things happen. So what happens to those dreams when the kids are all grown and have left, or, when a relationship ends? Do you now have regrets? Are you angry? Do you feel lost? How are your self-esteem and confidence?

How much are those dreams and aspirations worth to you at this point? Do they still matter to you?

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I am here to tell you that if those dreams truly matter to you, you can still make them come through. Your dreams, though delayed, should never be aborted or abandoned. They are right where you left them, waiting for you to renew your love and determination. Before long, you can make those dreams and aspirations a reality.

Here are a few tips to remember when trying to go after your dreams given a period of delay:

It’s never too late to go after your dreams

Firstly, you must want to go after your dreams with all that you have within you. Even though it is much later in your life, you can achieve these dreams. You may be older but your dreams never truly die. On the bright side, you are now wiser, stronger, and better prepared to deal with life at this stage.

Control all the negative thoughts in your head

Our minds can be merciless especially when we are trying to go into uncharted territory. All the passion you had is replaced with cynicism and questions. You now become fearful, intimidated, and filled with doubt.

You can hear your mind asking you questions loud and clear. Why now? Aren’t you too old?  You will never do it? These are just of a few of the many thoughts that will be going through your mind once you decide to get up and make a change. The worse fights you will have when going after your dreams will be those from within. The ones that only you have control of and the ones that will be with you all throughout your journey.

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You will have to want it badly and be determined that nothing and no one is going to delay your dreams anymore. The same mind that is telling you that you can never do it is the same mind you will have to condition to now motivate you to want to do it.

You might have to go it alone

Often when you decide to go after your dreams, you will find yourself alone. The people you love and care for may no longer be supportive of those dreams. Many may not understand it and others are fearful since they like you have neglected their dreams. If they couldn’t do it, they do not believe you can either.

You are going to feel empty and alone sometimes. You will be second guessing yourself and whether or not you’ve made the right decision. You will have to be strong and realize that those thoughts are normal, but you must be prepared forging ahead.

We all had those dreams where we believed we could achieve anything. How many of us have stopped to consider the price we will have to pay to achieve those dreams?

Take small steps

You need to start out taking small steps. Things are going to look and feel strange to you at first, and it might take you some time to get yourself together. With determination, you will find your way. You will soon realize that things do become easier with time.

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Socialize with people who share your passion

Go out and meet other people who, like you, are starting over. You would be surprised to know that you are not alone. There are many people who had put their dreams on hold and are now going out and trying to achieve them and doing so.

Be bold and courageous

You must be bold and strong. Do not allow negative thoughts to control your mind. Do not allow fear to prevent you from achieving your dream.  Let fear become your motivator.  Fear should be the reason you go out and work harder.  The more steps you take in the direction of attaining your goals the less fearful you will be.

The closer you are to achieving your dreams the more self-confidence you will have. The more confidence you have the harder and more determined you will be to pursue your dreams.

The only right time is now

There will never be a right time to go after what you want than today. If you continue to wait around for the right time, it will never come.  You have to make the time. You must be willing to take steps into the vast unknown and be confident you will be fine.

Be prepared to fail a few times

Failure should never be the reason you quit fighting for your dreams. You must expect to fail but also be prepared to get back up and keep going.  Failure is just a bump in the road towards your dreams.  Remember you haven’t done it before therefore you will mess up sometimes but that is part of learning.

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You will also be discouraged and frustrated but dig deep to find the strength. Learn from those mistakes and keep going. Every mistake  should make you wiser, stronger, more courageous and better able to handle anything life throws your way.

Enjoy your life

Most of us tend to put off enjoying life to achieve our dreams but while we are delaying our happiness, life is passing by. Choose to be happy in spite of what is going on in your life. If you aren’t happy with things the way they are now you will never be happy even when you have achieved your goals. Choose to be happy with every step you take, good or bad.

Take the time to do things that excite you and things that make you feel good about yourself. Life is short and if you are willing to be happy with a little, you will be just as happy with a lot. The same is true if you choose not to be happy with a little: you will only be an unhappy person with lots of stuff.

Take time to lend a hand

While you are eager to go after your dream do take some time to lend a hand to those that are less fortunate. It will give you a different perspective on life. You will also realize how helping others help you as well. It will also help take your mind off your problems at least for a moment and when you return you will be better able to see things differently.

Never quit

You will be tempted to throw your hands in the air and give up when things get rough. But after waiting all this time to go after what you love you should never let anything deter you. Fight for what is yours even harder than you fought for other people’s dreams.  You will have the same struggles, but now this is for yourself. Be brave and face life knowing that you are fighting for yourself this time.

Featured photo credit: Dreams by Djorn Lindel via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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