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5 things you are NOT doing which will supercharge your dating potential

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5 things you are NOT doing which will supercharge your dating potential

5 things you're NOT doing to help your dating

    If the prospect of swimming in crocodile infested waters is more appealing than getting back in to dating then this post wont interest you much.

    But if you’re looking to discover how you can become a dating superhero after what has been a disastrous string of dates then welcome along. What you’ll discover here are the 5 things you aren’t doing which will help you supercharge your dating potential.

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    So what do I mean by that? Well, its time you start setting yourself up for success rather than failure by becoming conscious of the behaviors and actions that are currently holding you back from finding ‘the one’. You’re most likely complicating this whole dating thing, in fact I’m sure of it, and if you continue you’ll just end up chasing your tail.

    And as much as you think at times that you’ll be better off alone, deep down you know that life would be more fulfilling if you could share it with the right person. Anyway nature has already decided your fate.

    I’m afraid we’re all social creatures that yearn for deep and meaningful connection and there’s nothing much we can do about it. So it’s time to make better choices, listen to your intuition and up your game if you are to filter through the crowd and meet Mr/Mrs right.

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    It’s also time to put the past disappointments behind you because the longer you live in the past the harder it will be for you to create an abundant future. Want to finally be inspired by the dating game and feel like there are great things on the horizon? Then read on to learn the 5 things you aren’t doing which will help you supercharge your dating potential.

    1. You are not able to learn from your failures

    A wise man once said that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Now I’m not labeling you insane but how do you expect things to be different for you if you are making all the same moves and still not progressing? There are things that you know you’re doing wrong and however much you try to brush them under the carpet you know deep down they aren’t serving you. But if you aren’t willing to accept the truth then how are you going to get different results?  Whether it’s talking about talking about your ex (yikes, don’t do that!), to not making an effort to dress well, it’s time to tell yourself the truth and make a change.

    2. You are not taking time to become a better version of yourself

    Life presents us with endless opportunity to grow and you could do nothing more valuable than committing to a journey of self-development.  Once you start learning more about the person you are and the direction you want your life to go in you will automatically attract people that align with your beliefs. How does this help supercharge your dating?  Well, by being aligned with your purpose you’ll have a clearer idea of the kind of person that you want to be with and this will result in you choosing your dates wisely.  No more time-wasters, just good quality candidates.

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    3. You are not able to look within and therefore going without

    There’s a real you hiding away somewhere which is longing to be exposed to the world. Don’t hide away the person you are in fear of judged.  Look within and be at one with your greatness and don’t be afraid to show it off for all to see. The more disconnected with yourself you are the less chance you have of finding someone suitable for you. What is it deep down that makes you happy? What are the things you love to be, do and have? Be vulnerable, be proud, be you, and watch how the positive energy will flow from and to you.

    4. You are not creating a winning environment

    Imagine if you created a checklist of what you needed to be successful on a date.  Would you say you are doing everything in your power cross everything off the list? Are you going to the right places?  Are you dressed to impress? Are you well-groomed and presentable? These are important factors as you may only get once chance to grab someone’s attention so why not in every moment give yourself the best possible chance of creating a success of your night?

    5. You are not being selective enough

    Set your standards and stick to them! It’s easy after many failed dates to lower your standards and give someone a chance just because they seem nice but would you of really picked them as a first choice?  To avoid ending up being resentful on your way to a date try and be selective and stay firm.  We are all attracted to a certain type and the more you fluctuate from that the more dates will end up with a ‘goodbye’ rather than a ‘see you tomorrow’.

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    There you have it!  A new set of tools to use to master this dating game.

    To your success!

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    Last Updated on November 18, 2021

    10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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    10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

    We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

    A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

    So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

    • honest
    • reliable
    • competent
    • kind and compassionate
    • capable of taking the blame
    • able to persevere
    • modest and humble
    • pacific and can control anger.

    The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

    1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

    All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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    But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

    2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

    How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

    I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

    “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

    Abigail Van Buren

    3. How does this person take the blame?

    Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

    4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

    You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

    5. Read their emails.

    Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

    • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
    • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
    • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
    • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
    • Too many question marks can show anger
    • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

    6. Watch out for the show offs.

    Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

    7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

    A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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    Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

    8. Their empathy score is high.

    Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

    People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

    9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

    We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

    “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

    Stendhal

     10. Avoid toxic people.

    These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

    • Envy or jealousy
    • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
    • Complaining about their own lack of success
    • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
    • Obsession with themselves and their problems

    Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

    Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

    Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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