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6 Tricks To Giving A Good Compliment

6 Tricks To Giving A Good Compliment

Compliments come in all shapes and sizes. They can range from commending coworkers on their hard work, to telling your significant other how good that shirt looks on him or her. It’s the little things like sincere compliments that can change how people view and relate to you, and just one good compliment can make someone’s entire day better.

Compliments, no matter how small or how grand, can make anyone feel good. It doesn’t matter who the person is or what your relationship is, because no one is exempt from the feel-goods that come with good compliments. Next time you want to dole out some acclaim, keep these six tips in mind.

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1. Tailor your compliment.

Compliments are designed to make people feel good about themselves, so make sure the compliment is all about the specific person you’re speaking to. Mass-produced compliments lose their meaning pretty quickly because the more personal the accolade, the better. People feel much more appreciated when you say exactly why you think that person deserves some praise.

2. Include examples.

If you just say, “Good job,” that’s all fine and well, but it’s not nearly the compliment it could be. Back your compliment up with examples of why you think that person did do a good job. Including examples makes your compliment seem more sincere, and is therefore much more effective and convincing. In a work situation, it might also help the person realize what he or she did, and how to better accomplish that task in the future. While work relationships are certainly different from others, it’s still important to let coworkers know that they’re appreciated.

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3. Don’t put it off.

Too many people wait until what they think is the perfect moment for a good compliment. Don’t be one of those people! What you have in your head as a perfect moment may never happen, and unless you’re willing to single-handedly create that moment yourself, don’t delay the compliment. If you feel that a compliment is appropriate, the best time is now. Sincerity has a lot to do with timing, and if you feel it, you should say it.

4. Include the other person.

Compliments don’t have to be a one-way street. If you think someone did something particularly well and compliment him or her on it, include that person and make it a conversation. Try, “How do you think it went?” The last thing you want is to seem patronizing or condescending, and including the other party can help offset that and make them feel even more appreciated.

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5. Make it 100% compliment.

Don’t ever tell someone that something they’ve done is great…because what he or she was doing beforehand wasn’t so great. Compliments are meant to make people feel good, and that’s it. Don’t bring other things into it, because comparing the now and the then can just make someone feel bad about themselves. Do not negate a good compliment by making it back-handed or rude. That accomplishes the exact opposite of what a compliment should do for a person.

6. Be selfless.

Never compliment someone because you want a compliment back. Not only is this a very selfish thing to do, but it sucks all of the sincerity right out of the compliment. If you think someone’s hair looks nice, say so — but don’t do it just because you’re having a bad hair day and want some validation for your own look. Many people might return a compliment with another, but you shouldn’t go into the interaction expecting or even hoping for that. You’re doing this because you think someone else should be praised, not you.  

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Featured photo credit: Daniel Lobo via photopin.com

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Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

9 Things Successful People Do To Always Get What They Want

9 Things Successful People Do To Always Get What They Want

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to take on the job of hosting my own weekly radio show. My radio show is about finding some of the most successful people in the world and bringing them on my show to ask them about what they did to become so successful in life and business.

In this article, I’m going to share with you some of the key takeaways I’ve picked up from talking to – and reading about – thought leaders from various fields about the things successful people do. Here, you can get some insights on how to get what you want.

Ready to dive in? Let’s go.

1. They Know What They Want

The first and most important thing that successful people do to always get what they want is so simple that most people forget about it: they figure out what they actually want.

When you know what you want, you will also know how to get what you want. If you’re unsure about what you want in life and business, I’d suggest picking up some career and self-improvement books to help you gain some clarity and focus.

2. They Are Assertive

Successful people know that they need to be both bold and sincere. Balancing these two characteristics is the essence of assertiveness.

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Oh, and by the way – being assertive is not a natural talent someone is born with. Assertiveness is a learned skill and anyone can do it, including you!

3. They Learn

You may have heard of the old saying, “great leaders are readers”. For the most part, I’d say this is true.

Let me give you an example. On my radio show, I regularly ask successful people about their habits that lead to success. Do you want to know something really neat? Every single one of them reads books.

Successful people read and learn as much as they can about what they want so that they can get what they want. If you’re curious about how to get what you want, then start reading a book. If you’re low on time, subscribe to a book summary site to get the core concepts of the books in your industry quickly.

4. They Make Things Meaningful

One of the most powerful things successful people do to always get what they want is that they make things meaningful. That is, they ensure that whatever endeavor they decide to embark upon is meaningful to them (and not necessarily to anyone else). They know and understand that it’s only worth it if it matters.

5. They Ask

One big thing that successful people always do to get what they want is this: they ask.

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Most people are too shy to ask for what they really want. If you are too shy to ask, you may never know how to get what you want. So, don’t be like most people.

Here’s an exercise you can do to get over it: next time you’re buying something, regardless of what it is, ask for a discount. Just do it. The worst-case scenario is that you’ll get a chuckle from the Barrista at Starbucks. The best-case scenario is that you’ll get comfortable with negotiating when it’s time to buy your next car.

6. They Take Action

Insight without action is useless. Successful people know that to always get what they want, they’ve got to take massive action.

One of the most powerful exercises I’ve ever discovered is this: never leave the sight of a goal without taking some kind of action towards its achievement. In other words, as soon as you decide you want something or as soon as you set a goal of some kind, do something – anything – that shifts you closer towards getting it.

7. They Use Their Time Wisely

Have you ever heard of NET time? It stands for “No Extra Time”.

For example: when you’re driving and sitting in traffic, are you listening to Mylie Cyrus? Or are you listening to an audiobook?

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Successful people take NET time seriously. Get yourself some audiobook so you can start listening to the best business and self-improvement books available – all while you’re on your way to work in the morning.

8. They Choose to Lead

You don’t need to have formal authority to become a leader. You just need to choose yourself. All successful people know this, and so should you. Knowing how to get what you want requires knowing how to lead the way for others and yourself.

Don’t wait for anyone else to do it, because the truth is that most people want to be led anyway. So, just step up and claim authority. Be the leader you wish you always had.

9. They Contribute

Successful people know that to get what they want, they have to be willing to help other people get what they want.

What happens when you stop doing your job? What happens when you stop caring about your schoolwork? What happens when you become emotionally disconnected from a relationship?

You suffer – that’s what happens. Successful people know and understand that in order to succeed, they need to contribute. They need to add value to the lives of others. They need to do their best so that they can become the best.

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So, Now What?

I hope this article has re-ignited the fire that you already had within you to be successful at any endeavor. The reason why I’m stressing the fact that you’ve already got everything you need to succeed and get what you want is that you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t already motivated to be successful.

At the end of the day, however, all the insights in the world are worth nothing unless you combine them with action. When it’s all said and done, it’s your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career.

But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started doing the things to help you succeed:

Review this list of the 9 things successful people do to always get what they want and then compare it with where you currently are at each one of these 9 things. Rate yourself in each one of the 9 things. Next, pick just ONE of them to work on every week.

For example, if you find that you’d like to learn more about the business side of the company you work for, then go read the best business books to help you do that.

Never stop learning. Always feed your mind with the knowledge you need to become as successful as possible within your area or industry. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. We’re all busy. Make the time to expand your knowledge.

And remember: every key learning should be immediately followed with action.

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Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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