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Top 5 Things The Dying Do Not Regret

Top 5 Things The Dying Do Not Regret

Regret is an interesting emotion, isn’t it?

The fear of regret makes us do a lot of wonderful things. It makes us go the extra mile to say “I love you” one more time, and give that special one another hug. It reminds us to enjoy every moment like it was our last.

But the same fear can make us choose unwisely. It convinces us to go back to the ex we just broke up with, settle for less in life and suppress our dreams and desires.

What is it about regret that pushes us to either extreme? How can we differentiate between the good and the evil?

The most convoluted issues in our lives have the simplest solutions, if we listen to our hearts. Does it ever feel good to let go of a dream? Is the walk back to an ex ever as exciting as a hopeful new love? If not, why do we let ourselves settle for less?

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Listen to your heart, irrespective of how big you dream, or how unrealistic your desires may be. Being faithful to your dreams brings with it a sense of freedom and empowerment. It’s a feeling that satisfies the deepest cravings of the soul.

Fear is positive, it gives us the capacity to take an extra step forward and challenge ourselves. However, fear can also be negative if we let doubt creep in and accept that we aren’t the person we wished we were.

Here are a few things the dying do not regret; why they have contentment in their hearts and why the memories of their past overcome the fear of what lies ahead.

1) Falling in love, over and over again.

I’m referring to the times when your heart skips a beat and words refuse to flow, when your mind is enslaved and you become alien to your own feelings.

Looking back, it is nearly impossible to regret falling in love, irrespective of how difficult getting out of it must have been. Falling in love is personal, it’s about you and how it makes you feel. Ironically, it has nothing to do with your object of desire.

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Whether your object of desire is aware of your feelings or not is immaterial and unnecessary for you to fall in love. The days still seem brighter and the evenings just as romantic. Every memory of the moment seems magical.

So, why hold back? Let yourself slip, trip and tumble in love. Because with matters of the heart, it is useless to have your feet on the ground.

2) Forgiving them all.

I am not recommending that you forgive and forget, that might make you return to old habits and repeat mistakes. But, holding on to resentment is unhealthy. Not only does it take up all your positive energy, but it leaves less room for all the goodness awaiting you in the present.

You can’t change people, the only thing we have control over is ourselves. It’s difficult to see the big picture when we hold on to grudges and it makes understanding the other side almost impossible. You don’t have to be right to be happy, and choosing wisely between the two can make all the difference.

3) Overestimating themselves.

Our modest side cringes at this idea, but give it a fair chance. What does it take for a person to take a leap of faith out of their comfort zone? A hint of ignorance, blind faith and believing that they are better than they truly are.

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You have to overestimate yourself to move up. It’s the most effective way to learn about yourself and challenge yourself to take a risk. How else will you ever know what you were capable of?

What is the worst that can happen anyway? You might land back where you started, but at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot. There is nothing fun in realizing, at the end of the road, that all your limitations were self imposed.

There is no excuse to settle for less.

4) Staying connected.

Taking time from our extremely busy schedules to keep in touch with friends and family seems like a lot of effort during our most vibrant years. Yet, it is what differentiates the happy and the not-so-happy over time.

Making new friends is an easy endeavor in our youthful years, but maintaining and nurturing those relationships becomes crucial in later years. It’s easy to let old relationships fade, but it’s those old ties that need the most attention. They will sustain you when the world crashes in on you.

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Learn to differentiate between family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues and associates. Spend intimate time with people that matter and that you truly click with, the satisfaction of an evening well spent is seldom achieved at formal social gathering.

Those in the company of loved ones are said to be happier and more content with their lives. Loneliness brings with it bitterness and regret, which  we all want to avoid in our older years. No one regrets the time they spent laughing with loved ones.

5) Taking a chance.

Taking risks are the most terrifying and exhilarating moments of our lives. Whether it was asking your high school sweetheart out for prom or skydiving, the memories of these moments still make your tummy tingle.

It requires a tremendous amount of courage to take a chance. The fear can be so great that it numbs our senses and restricts our ability to think. But, this numbness is natures way of pushing us through the fear and facilitating the final jump.

Magical things happen when we take such plunges in life. Things that you thought were out of your league become accessible, dreams become reality and the fear of regret is replaced by the excitement of new possibilities.

Life is too short to live with regret. Now is the time to make changes in your life, do what you always wished you could, love more dearly and focus on what truly matters.

Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/powderruns/ via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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