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Top 5 Things The Dying Do Not Regret

Top 5 Things The Dying Do Not Regret

Regret is an interesting emotion, isn’t it?

The fear of regret makes us do a lot of wonderful things. It makes us go the extra mile to say “I love you” one more time, and give that special one another hug. It reminds us to enjoy every moment like it was our last.

But the same fear can make us choose unwisely. It convinces us to go back to the ex we just broke up with, settle for less in life and suppress our dreams and desires.

What is it about regret that pushes us to either extreme? How can we differentiate between the good and the evil?

The most convoluted issues in our lives have the simplest solutions, if we listen to our hearts. Does it ever feel good to let go of a dream? Is the walk back to an ex ever as exciting as a hopeful new love? If not, why do we let ourselves settle for less?

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Listen to your heart, irrespective of how big you dream, or how unrealistic your desires may be. Being faithful to your dreams brings with it a sense of freedom and empowerment. It’s a feeling that satisfies the deepest cravings of the soul.

Fear is positive, it gives us the capacity to take an extra step forward and challenge ourselves. However, fear can also be negative if we let doubt creep in and accept that we aren’t the person we wished we were.

Here are a few things the dying do not regret; why they have contentment in their hearts and why the memories of their past overcome the fear of what lies ahead.

1) Falling in love, over and over again.

I’m referring to the times when your heart skips a beat and words refuse to flow, when your mind is enslaved and you become alien to your own feelings.

Looking back, it is nearly impossible to regret falling in love, irrespective of how difficult getting out of it must have been. Falling in love is personal, it’s about you and how it makes you feel. Ironically, it has nothing to do with your object of desire.

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Whether your object of desire is aware of your feelings or not is immaterial and unnecessary for you to fall in love. The days still seem brighter and the evenings just as romantic. Every memory of the moment seems magical.

So, why hold back? Let yourself slip, trip and tumble in love. Because with matters of the heart, it is useless to have your feet on the ground.

2) Forgiving them all.

I am not recommending that you forgive and forget, that might make you return to old habits and repeat mistakes. But, holding on to resentment is unhealthy. Not only does it take up all your positive energy, but it leaves less room for all the goodness awaiting you in the present.

You can’t change people, the only thing we have control over is ourselves. It’s difficult to see the big picture when we hold on to grudges and it makes understanding the other side almost impossible. You don’t have to be right to be happy, and choosing wisely between the two can make all the difference.

3) Overestimating themselves.

Our modest side cringes at this idea, but give it a fair chance. What does it take for a person to take a leap of faith out of their comfort zone? A hint of ignorance, blind faith and believing that they are better than they truly are.

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You have to overestimate yourself to move up. It’s the most effective way to learn about yourself and challenge yourself to take a risk. How else will you ever know what you were capable of?

What is the worst that can happen anyway? You might land back where you started, but at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot. There is nothing fun in realizing, at the end of the road, that all your limitations were self imposed.

There is no excuse to settle for less.

4) Staying connected.

Taking time from our extremely busy schedules to keep in touch with friends and family seems like a lot of effort during our most vibrant years. Yet, it is what differentiates the happy and the not-so-happy over time.

Making new friends is an easy endeavor in our youthful years, but maintaining and nurturing those relationships becomes crucial in later years. It’s easy to let old relationships fade, but it’s those old ties that need the most attention. They will sustain you when the world crashes in on you.

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Learn to differentiate between family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues and associates. Spend intimate time with people that matter and that you truly click with, the satisfaction of an evening well spent is seldom achieved at formal social gathering.

Those in the company of loved ones are said to be happier and more content with their lives. Loneliness brings with it bitterness and regret, which  we all want to avoid in our older years. No one regrets the time they spent laughing with loved ones.

5) Taking a chance.

Taking risks are the most terrifying and exhilarating moments of our lives. Whether it was asking your high school sweetheart out for prom or skydiving, the memories of these moments still make your tummy tingle.

It requires a tremendous amount of courage to take a chance. The fear can be so great that it numbs our senses and restricts our ability to think. But, this numbness is natures way of pushing us through the fear and facilitating the final jump.

Magical things happen when we take such plunges in life. Things that you thought were out of your league become accessible, dreams become reality and the fear of regret is replaced by the excitement of new possibilities.

Life is too short to live with regret. Now is the time to make changes in your life, do what you always wished you could, love more dearly and focus on what truly matters.

Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/powderruns/ via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 23, 2019

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

In the journey of growth, there are times when we grow and excel. We are endlessly driven and hyped up, motivated to get our goals.

Then there are times when we stagnate. We feel uninspired and unmotivated. We keep procrastinating on our plans. More often than not, we get out of a rut, only to get back into another one.

How do you know if you are stagnating? Here are some tell-tale signs:

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  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

When we face stagnation in life, it’s a sign of deeper issues. Stagnation, just like procrastination, is a symptom of a problem. It’s easy to beat ourselves over it, but this approach is not going to help. Here, I will share 5 steps to help you move out of this stagnation. They won’t magically transform your life in 1 night (such changes are never permanent because the foundations are not built), but they will help you get the momentum going and help you get back on track.

1. Realize You’re Not Alone

Everyone stagnates at some point or another. You are not alone in this and more importantly, it’s normal. In fact, it’s amazing how many of my clients actually face the same predicament, even though all of them come from different walks of life, are of different ages, and have never crossed paths. Realizing you are not alone in this will make it much easier to deal with this period. By trying to “fight it”, you’re only fighting yourself. Accept this situation, acknowledge it, and tell yourself it’s okay. That way, you can then focus on the constructive steps that will really help you.

2. Find What Inspires You

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Stagnation comes because there isn’t anything that excites you enough to take action. If you don’t have a habit of setting goals, and instead just leave yourself to daily mundanes, it’s not surprising you are experiencing stagnation. What do you want to do if there are no limitations? If you can have whatever you want, what will it be? The answers to these questions will provide the fuel that will drive you forward.

On the other hand, even if you are an experienced goal setter, there are times when the goals you set in the past lose their appeal now. It’s normal and it happens to me too. Sometimes we lose touch with our goals, since we are in a different emotional state compared to when we first set them. Sometimes our priorities change and we no longer want to work on those goals anymore. However, we don’t consciously realize this, and what happens is we procrastinate on our goals until it compounds into a serious problem. If that’s the case for you, it’s time to relook into your goals. There’s no point in pursuing goals that no longer inspire you. Trash away your old goals (or just put them aside) and ask yourself what you really want now. Then go for them.

3. Give Yourself a Break

When’s the last time you took a real break for yourself? 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Never? Perhaps it’s time to take a time-out. Prolonged working can cause someone to become disillusioned as they lose sight of who they are and what they want.

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Go take some extended leave from work. A few days at bare minimum; a few weeks or months will be great. Some of my ex-colleagues have quit their jobs and took months out to do some self-reflection. Of course, some of us might not have that luxury, so we can stick to a few weeks of leave. Go on a trip elsewhere and get away from your work and your life. Use this chance to get a renewed perspective of life. Think about your life purpose, what you want and what you want to create for your life in the future. These are big questions that require deep thinking over them. It’s not about finding the answers at one go, but about taking the first step to finding the answers.

4. Shake up Your Routines

Being in the same environment, doing the same things over and over again and meeting the same people can make us stagnant. This is especially if the people you spend the most time with are stagnant themselves.

Change things around. Start with simple things, like taking a different route to work and eating something different for breakfast. Have your lunch with different colleagues, colleagues you never talked much with. Work in a different cubicle if your work has free and easy seating. Do something different than your usual for weekday evenings and weekends. Cultivate different habits, like exercising every day, listening to a new series of podcasts every morning to work, reading a book, etc (here’s 6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick). The different contexts will give you different stimulus, which will trigger off different thoughts and actions in you.

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When I’m in a state of stagnancy, I’ll get a sense of what’s making me stagnate. Sometimes it’s the environment I’m in, sometimes it’s the people I’ve been hanging out with, sometimes it’s my lifestyle. Most of the times it’s a combination of all these. Changing them up helps to stir myself out of the stagnant mode.

5. Start with a Small Step

Stagnation also comes from being frozen in fear. Maybe you do want this certain goal, but you aren’t taking action. Are you overwhelmed by the amount of work needed? Are you afraid you will make mistakes? Is the perfectionist in you taking over and paralyzing you?

Let go of the belief that it has to be perfect. Such a belief is a bane, not a boon. It’s precisely from being open to mistakes and errors that you move forward. Break down what’s before you into very very small steps, then take those small steps, a little step at a time. I had a client who had been stagnating for a long period because he was afraid of failing. He didn’t want to make another move where he would make a mistake. However, not wanting to make a mistake has led him to do absolutely nothing for 2-3 years. On the other hand, by doing just something, you would already be making progress, whether it’s a mistake or not. Even if you make a supposed “mistake”,  you get feedback to do things differently in the next step. That’s something you would never have known if you never made a move.

More to Help You Stay Motivated

Here are some resources that will help you break out of your current phase:

Featured photo credit: Anubhav Saxena via unsplash.com

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