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Rise Above the Hurt: Using Compassion to Heal

Rise Above the Hurt: Using Compassion to Heal
    "Sunrise" from Mundoo on flickr

    Hurt people hurt people.

    I recently read this and it really struck a cord with me. When I read that statement and let the meaning really sink in, I felt myself being lifted to a higher level of understanding. I felt my heart open up and compassion flow through me because I realized, aren’t we all in our essence scared little children who are trying to protect ourselves? Haven’t we all been hurt in some way or another?

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    Becoming more aware

    If someone hurts you, instead of reacting right away, pause and consider, WHY are they hurting you. Any anger, criticism, or judgment comes from a deeper, underlying fear. We have a choice on how to react to any situation. We ARE in control…if we choose to be. That means becoming more aware and pausing before going for that immediate reaction.

    The “pain body” and how to relieve it

    Eckert Tolle talks about the “pain body” that we all have. Some have a much larger pain body than others. This is the collection of all hurts, sorrows, anger, and fears in an energetic field around your body. It’s your baggage that you haven’t dealt with and continue to carry around. The pain body requires more pain to expand and therefore we end up experiencing automatic reactions to situations that become even more painful.

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    Compassion helps to melt away those pains. Quite honestly, if you take the time to really look at the pain you’ve experienced, is it serving you now? Yes, it may have been fine for a while to protect you from dangerous situations. An abused child needs to be protected and will naturally create ways of dealing with the pain. But as an adult, when the threat or danger is no longer there, the programming of the pain often still is! We are living our lives on programming that is no longer necessary—but we don’t know how to change that.

    Just like computers need updating and new, improved software to function well, we do too! If you are running on old programs in your subconscious, then perhaps it’s time to upgrade. How do you know if you have old programs? Just look at the results you have in your life. Are you where you want to be? Are you living your dream life? If not, only YOU can change that.

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    Natural ways to heal

    We are in the process of discovering wonderful methods to heal ourselves. We have ways to free our hearts. It may be hard to think in terms of love if you’ve been hurt so badly. But forgiveness is something you can do to open the door to love, to compassion, and to free you own heart! Our world is so full of violence, anger, injustice, and hate. We each have a responsibility in our own lives to raise ourselves above that darkness, to choose to see love over the fear.

    In the past year, I’ve been learning so much about natural healing modalities that can bypass those old programs in your system. Bruce Lipton, a renowned cell biologist, gives a great list on his website of all sorts of ways you can bypass the old and reprogram yourself naturally. Our brains are truly amazing and have huge capabilities to change and improve. The desire needs to start from within. This is why I think more and more people are finding themselves on a journey, dealing with huge crisis in their lives, and finding ways to overcome challenges. Become proactive about your life, the way you choose to live it, and that starts with being aware of how you are choosing to react to situations.

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    The next time someone hurts you, pause before you respond and think about what the underlying message may be. You may find that the real reason is that person is hurting as well. It may open up the communication if you can recognize that person’s pain and help them see where they are hurting. I am willing to bet it will improve the relationship. And those things that we can do on a small level in our own lives, are things that will work on a bigger level too.

    Here is an experiment I challenge you to take on: make a conscious choice to be more compassionate, both with yourself and with others, and see what happens. One week, try it…you have nothing to lose. You can make a difference in the world—just start with yourself first!

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    Last Updated on June 13, 2019

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

    You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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    1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

    It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

    Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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    2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

    If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

    3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

    If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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    4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

    A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

    5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

    If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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    Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

    Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

    Reference

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