“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama XIV
Well, that’s good news. If you find your days are gloomy and you are always frowning, you can make changes to get back your joy. Now, take the time to look into your life. As a woman, are you always trying to juggle too many things like an octopus? Or are you expecting too much from a relationship? If you wish to bring back that smile, check out this list and recognize the five don’ts of joy. Follow them and you’ll be on your way to happiness!
1. Don’t be too busy
“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” Maya Angelou
Although responsibilities are inevitable, stress is optional. Let no tension crash your happiness. It’s all about give and take. If you use up a lot of time, energy and effort on your tasks, don’t forget to refuel yourself. Detach yourself from everything and bask in your carefree “me time.” Revitalize!
2. Don’t care about the jokers
“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” Brigham Young
Some people will put all kinds of unpleasant tags on you. Let them. You need to ask yourself whether you agree with what they’ve said. I’d bet you don’t. You don’t need their approval or admiration. Only allow bright and beautiful things in your life. These weak, pitiful jokers don’t deserve your attention. Ignore them.Advertising
3. Don’t be stingy
“Put coconut oil in your hair, exercise, take hot showers, massage lotion into your skin, eat food that makes you feel good, stretch, lay around in bed, and listen music that makes you feel happy. Just do you.” Unknown
You work hard, and you strive to be the very best version of yourself all the time. But, remember to be generous in pampering yourself. Spend time or money to enjoy something you like. Nope… I’m not asking you to buy a 10 carat diamond ring right away. It doesn’t have to be something big. Every little pleasure and thing you do to care for yourself can make your soul delightful.
4. Don’t be too dependent
“Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.” Unknown
Don’t put your happiness into other people’s hands. You can’t always wait for him to give you flowers, gifts and most importantly… love. Learn to be with yourself. Yes, you, alone. Be respectful to yourself. Listen to your heart and wishes and fulfill them yourself. You don’t rely solely on others; you give yourself joy.
5. Don’t belittle yourself
“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.” Margaret Cho
No one is obliged to meet the media’s standard of beauty. Comparison will only tear up your confidence and happiness. Now just look into the mirror and ask, “So what if I’m not slim? So what if I’m not perfect?” The truth is, no one is perfect. Love the way you are. And remember, you don’t need to be pretty to be happy; you need to be happy to be pretty.Advertising
There you are! Those are the five dont’s you should keep in mind to be a happy woman. Do you have other tips for joy? Tell us in the comments.
Featured photo credit: Beautiful smile by Worldizen via flic.kr
Last Updated on April 8, 2020
Why Assuming Positive Intent Is an Amazing Productivity Driver
Assuming positive intent is an important contributor to quality of life.
Most people appreciate the dividends such a mindset produces in the realm of relationships. How can relationships flourish when you don’t assume intentions that may or may not be there? And how their partner can become an easier person to be around as a result of such a shift? Less appreciated in the GTD world, however, is the productivity aspect of this “assume positive intent” perspective.
Most of us are guilty of letting our minds get distracted, our energy sapped, or our harmony compromised by thinking about what others woulda, coulda, shoulda. How we got wronged by someone else. How a friend could have been more respectful. How a family member could have been less selfish.
However, once we evolve to understanding the folly of this mindset, we feel freer and we become more productive professionally due to the minimization of unhelpful, distracting thoughts.
The leap happens when we realize two things:
- The self serving benefit from giving others the benefit of the doubt.
- The logic inherent in the assumption that others either have many things going on in their lives paving the way for misunderstandings.
Needless to say, this mindset does not mean that we ought to not confront people that are creating havoc in our world. There are times when we need to call someone out for inflicting harm in our personal lives or the lives of others.
Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO of Pepsi, says it best in an interview with Fortune magazine:
My father was an absolutely wonderful human being. From ecent emailhim I learned to always assume positive intent. Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you’re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, ‘Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.’ So ‘assume positive intent’ has been a huge piece of advice for me.
In business, sometimes in the heat of the moment, people say things. You can either misconstrue what they’re saying and assume they are trying to put you down, or you can say, ‘Wait a minute. Let me really get behind what they are saying to understand whether they’re reacting because they’re hurt, upset, confused, or they don’t understand what it is I’ve asked them to do.’ If you react from a negative perspective – because you didn’t like the way they reacted – then it just becomes two negatives fighting each other. But when you assume positive intent, I think often what happens is the other person says, ‘Hey, wait a minute, maybe I’m wrong in reacting the way I do because this person is really making an effort.
“Assume positive intent” is definitely a top quality of life’s best practice among the people I have met so far. The reasons are obvious. It will make you feel better, your relationships will thrive and it’s an approach more greatly aligned with reality. But less understood is how such a shift in mindset brings your professional game to a different level.
Not only does such a shift make you more likable to your colleagues, but it also unleashes your talents further through a more focused, less distracted mind.
More Tips About Building Positive Relationships
- How to Tell If You Are Fostering Positive Relationships in Life
- 10 Ways to Build Positive And Effective Work Relationships
- The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You
Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com