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You Know You Love Someone When…

You Know You Love Someone When…

So you’ve been dating someone knew for a couple months and things are getting pretty serious. You talk to each other almost every day and the date on the weekend is all but assumed. You are certainly fond of this person and hanging out with them is a great source of fun and happiness for you. But is it love? If you can check off all eight items on this list, you just might be head-over-heels.

1. They Are Your First Thought

When you emerge from the fog of a good night’s sleep and the world begins to come into focus around you, your significant other pops into your head. As you stare at yourself sleepily in the mirror while brushing your teeth, you are already planning the next great date you can take her on or  wondering if he will like the outfit you put together for the day.

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2. You Tell Them Your Secrets

If you don’t feel embarrassed to share things you really ought to be embarrassed about, you might be in love. There are some parts of your life that don’t readily share with people unless you are comfortable with them getting to know the real you. For example, if you’re hanging out with your partner making dinner and, without flinching, you tell them about the time you called your teacher mom, you might as well blurt out the L-bomb right then and there.

3. You Are Fond of Their Imperfections

At least in the early stages of love you start to like everything about the other person. Even the little things they do that would drive you crazy if anyone else did them become strangely endearing. Maybe he snorts when he laughs, maybe she eats her peas one at a time. If you find yourself making doe eyes at behavior that you can objectively say would normally give you a stress-headache, you are probably beyond saving.

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4. You Mentally Include Them in Your Long-Term Future

Another sure-fire way to tell you’re in love with someone is if they start appearing in your long-term thoughts and plans. If you have always wanted to move to the West Coast and suddenly then you imagine yourself basking in the sunshine with your significant other, there is a pretty good chance you might love them. If you have difficulty imagining your future without them you can be even more sure of your feelings.

5. You Think They’re Special

We all think we are unique little snowflakes floating along on the breeze of life, but we rarely feel that way about other people. In fact, we so rarely think that other people are special that when we do it is a pretty good indication that they are either a very close friend or we are in love with them. Love blinds us to the cold rationality of statistics and lets us feel like, against all odds, we have found our one, true soul mate.

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6. You Want to be With Them

When you’re in love you start to make allowances in terms of what you feel is a normal amount of time to spend with someone. If you were together all weekend, you went for lunch on Monday, and you are still excited to plan dinner and a movie for Tuesday night, there is a good chance you’re in love. In fact, scientists have even shown that people in love demonstrate the same obsessive behavior as drug or gambling addicts when it comes to the object of their romantic attachment.

7. You Want Your Friends to Like Them

If you are worried about what your friends and family will think of the person you are dating it is probably because you are hoping to integrate them into Thanksgiving Dinners and Game Nights for years to come. Once your thoughts about someone else move outside of yourself and start including how they will mesh with the other people in your life, you can be reasonably sure you’re in a serious relationship.

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8. You Want to Keep Them Around

Finally, and above all else you are in love with someone if you continue loving them as your relationship matures. Most of the things I’ve discussed already are stages that pass on the path of a long-term relationship. New love is crazy and obsessive and irrational, but eventually that all fades away and you begin to see the other person for who they really are. If you have been together long enough to reclaim your ability to think logically and you still want to keep them around, you can be sure your love is the real thing.

Featured photo credit: Greg Jordan via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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