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You Know You Love Someone When…

You Know You Love Someone When…

So you’ve been dating someone knew for a couple months and things are getting pretty serious. You talk to each other almost every day and the date on the weekend is all but assumed. You are certainly fond of this person and hanging out with them is a great source of fun and happiness for you. But is it love? If you can check off all eight items on this list, you just might be head-over-heels.

1. They Are Your First Thought

When you emerge from the fog of a good night’s sleep and the world begins to come into focus around you, your significant other pops into your head. As you stare at yourself sleepily in the mirror while brushing your teeth, you are already planning the next great date you can take her on or  wondering if he will like the outfit you put together for the day.

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2. You Tell Them Your Secrets

If you don’t feel embarrassed to share things you really ought to be embarrassed about, you might be in love. There are some parts of your life that don’t readily share with people unless you are comfortable with them getting to know the real you. For example, if you’re hanging out with your partner making dinner and, without flinching, you tell them about the time you called your teacher mom, you might as well blurt out the L-bomb right then and there.

3. You Are Fond of Their Imperfections

At least in the early stages of love you start to like everything about the other person. Even the little things they do that would drive you crazy if anyone else did them become strangely endearing. Maybe he snorts when he laughs, maybe she eats her peas one at a time. If you find yourself making doe eyes at behavior that you can objectively say would normally give you a stress-headache, you are probably beyond saving.

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4. You Mentally Include Them in Your Long-Term Future

Another sure-fire way to tell you’re in love with someone is if they start appearing in your long-term thoughts and plans. If you have always wanted to move to the West Coast and suddenly then you imagine yourself basking in the sunshine with your significant other, there is a pretty good chance you might love them. If you have difficulty imagining your future without them you can be even more sure of your feelings.

5. You Think They’re Special

We all think we are unique little snowflakes floating along on the breeze of life, but we rarely feel that way about other people. In fact, we so rarely think that other people are special that when we do it is a pretty good indication that they are either a very close friend or we are in love with them. Love blinds us to the cold rationality of statistics and lets us feel like, against all odds, we have found our one, true soul mate.

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6. You Want to be With Them

When you’re in love you start to make allowances in terms of what you feel is a normal amount of time to spend with someone. If you were together all weekend, you went for lunch on Monday, and you are still excited to plan dinner and a movie for Tuesday night, there is a good chance you’re in love. In fact, scientists have even shown that people in love demonstrate the same obsessive behavior as drug or gambling addicts when it comes to the object of their romantic attachment.

7. You Want Your Friends to Like Them

If you are worried about what your friends and family will think of the person you are dating it is probably because you are hoping to integrate them into Thanksgiving Dinners and Game Nights for years to come. Once your thoughts about someone else move outside of yourself and start including how they will mesh with the other people in your life, you can be reasonably sure you’re in a serious relationship.

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8. You Want to Keep Them Around

Finally, and above all else you are in love with someone if you continue loving them as your relationship matures. Most of the things I’ve discussed already are stages that pass on the path of a long-term relationship. New love is crazy and obsessive and irrational, but eventually that all fades away and you begin to see the other person for who they really are. If you have been together long enough to reclaim your ability to think logically and you still want to keep them around, you can be sure your love is the real thing.

Featured photo credit: Greg Jordan via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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