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When You Have Found The Right Woman, These 10 Things Will Happen

When You Have Found The Right Woman, These 10 Things Will Happen

My wife is a self-proclaimed nerd.  We have comic books in our bedroom, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles poster in our living room, and she can quickly answer any question about Star Wars.  And I love it.  I’ve found a beautiful, smart, ambitious woman who is the love of my life.  She is the right person for me.

We’re also best friends and continue to enhance our lives together.  Most of all, we are deeply in love.  Take it from me- when you’ve found the right woman, your life will change.  Too often we’ve analyzed who that perfect partner will be, despite ignoring the reality that we too are imperfect.

But, that’s the beauty of it.  After all, we are all just people.  When you find Miss Right, they get to know you better than you even know yourself.  It really is true.  When a man has found the right woman, these 10 amazing things will happen.  They happened to me.

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1.  You will share unique experiences.

My wife and I share experiences that are totally unique to us.  Our life experiences are special and we go through challenges together, as a team.  The right woman is the only one able to share those unique experiences so personally.  She will help you and you will help her.  One is not more powerful than the other.

2.  You will learn from one another.

I’ve learned so much from my wife.  She has taught me things about myself that I did not know or see.  We’ve learned how to better cope with life’s toughest challenges.  With the right woman, you will be open to receiving her message and attentive in what she has to say.  After all, you are going to spend the rest of your life learning from one another.

3.  You will build a solid foundation of trust.

I’m not only talking about basic trust, but a deeper level of trust.  When you’ve found the right woman, you will have a mutual understanding of one another.  You will both be honest with each other because it’s the right thing to do.  The right woman will respect you so much that she will be honest and forthcoming.  She will expect the same from you.

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4.  Your thought patterns will align.

I’m still amazed by this.  My wife and I really do finish our sentences.  We also begin to think about the world and approach problems in similar ways.  Individual experiences often become our unique experiences.  We may not always agree with one another, but the right woman will see the value in your point of view.  She will value the person you are.

5.  Your goals will merge.

The right woman is open to discussing what is and what is not important in your life.  She will seek to get to know you better to make sure that both your needs are being met.   She believes that you both have individual goals but are on the same page when it comes to improving your lives.  You will both share a beautiful vision of your future together.

6.  Your love will continue to grow.

I used to think I couldn’t love my wife more than I already did.  The more you get to know the right woman, the more you will love her for who she is.  You accept her imperfections and she accepts yours.  As you continue to experience more of life together, your love will continue to thrive right along with it.  Love has no limits or boundaries and the right woman will prove that.

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7.  You will laugh, a lot.

If your relationship or marriage does not have laughter in it, you have found the wrong woman.  Laughter really is the window to someone’s soul.  My wife and I laugh until our cheeks hurt.  We cry sometimes too, but the laughter reminds us of what’s really important.  Some of our best memories are funny stories that only we can relate to.  The right woman will love to laugh with you.

8.  You will learn to compromise.

When you’ve found the right woman, the little stuff just won’t matter as much.  No longer will you care where the toothbrush is or how the trash is taken out.  It may still bug you a little but doesn’t really matter.  There are too many other things to worry about when you’ve found the right woman.  You will also learn how to negotiate with one another to find out what’s really important to both of you.

9.  Your priorities will change.

As you make your journey together, your individual as well as the relationship’s priorities will change.  With the right woman, she will be open to those changes as you both navigate through the tough times.  You both will accept these changes over time.  As you get older, you realize you truly are in this together- in sickness AND in health.

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10.  You will highly respect one another.

I’m not talking about some sort of hierarchy of respect.  Quite the opposite.  This goes along with love- you value each other so much that you wouldn’t dare to truly hurt one another.  The right woman respects you as a man.  You respect her as a woman.  The right relationship requires just that- a mutual respect for another person as your equal.

Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list of everything that will happen to you (my wife would kill me if our marriage was boiled down to a top 10 list).  Mostly, we love one another unconditionally and view ourselves as equal partners.  We’re in this together.

You know that you’ve found the right woman when you wake up every morning smiling, knowing the love of your life is laying there right next to you.  There’s going to be a lot more of those special mornings.  And I can’t wait.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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