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When You Have Found The Right Woman, These 10 Things Will Happen

When You Have Found The Right Woman, These 10 Things Will Happen

My wife is a self-proclaimed nerd.  We have comic books in our bedroom, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles poster in our living room, and she can quickly answer any question about Star Wars.  And I love it.  I’ve found a beautiful, smart, ambitious woman who is the love of my life.  She is the right person for me.

We’re also best friends and continue to enhance our lives together.  Most of all, we are deeply in love.  Take it from me- when you’ve found the right woman, your life will change.  Too often we’ve analyzed who that perfect partner will be, despite ignoring the reality that we too are imperfect.

But, that’s the beauty of it.  After all, we are all just people.  When you find Miss Right, they get to know you better than you even know yourself.  It really is true.  When a man has found the right woman, these 10 amazing things will happen.  They happened to me.

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1.  You will share unique experiences.

My wife and I share experiences that are totally unique to us.  Our life experiences are special and we go through challenges together, as a team.  The right woman is the only one able to share those unique experiences so personally.  She will help you and you will help her.  One is not more powerful than the other.

2.  You will learn from one another.

I’ve learned so much from my wife.  She has taught me things about myself that I did not know or see.  We’ve learned how to better cope with life’s toughest challenges.  With the right woman, you will be open to receiving her message and attentive in what she has to say.  After all, you are going to spend the rest of your life learning from one another.

3.  You will build a solid foundation of trust.

I’m not only talking about basic trust, but a deeper level of trust.  When you’ve found the right woman, you will have a mutual understanding of one another.  You will both be honest with each other because it’s the right thing to do.  The right woman will respect you so much that she will be honest and forthcoming.  She will expect the same from you.

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4.  Your thought patterns will align.

I’m still amazed by this.  My wife and I really do finish our sentences.  We also begin to think about the world and approach problems in similar ways.  Individual experiences often become our unique experiences.  We may not always agree with one another, but the right woman will see the value in your point of view.  She will value the person you are.

5.  Your goals will merge.

The right woman is open to discussing what is and what is not important in your life.  She will seek to get to know you better to make sure that both your needs are being met.   She believes that you both have individual goals but are on the same page when it comes to improving your lives.  You will both share a beautiful vision of your future together.

6.  Your love will continue to grow.

I used to think I couldn’t love my wife more than I already did.  The more you get to know the right woman, the more you will love her for who she is.  You accept her imperfections and she accepts yours.  As you continue to experience more of life together, your love will continue to thrive right along with it.  Love has no limits or boundaries and the right woman will prove that.

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7.  You will laugh, a lot.

If your relationship or marriage does not have laughter in it, you have found the wrong woman.  Laughter really is the window to someone’s soul.  My wife and I laugh until our cheeks hurt.  We cry sometimes too, but the laughter reminds us of what’s really important.  Some of our best memories are funny stories that only we can relate to.  The right woman will love to laugh with you.

8.  You will learn to compromise.

When you’ve found the right woman, the little stuff just won’t matter as much.  No longer will you care where the toothbrush is or how the trash is taken out.  It may still bug you a little but doesn’t really matter.  There are too many other things to worry about when you’ve found the right woman.  You will also learn how to negotiate with one another to find out what’s really important to both of you.

9.  Your priorities will change.

As you make your journey together, your individual as well as the relationship’s priorities will change.  With the right woman, she will be open to those changes as you both navigate through the tough times.  You both will accept these changes over time.  As you get older, you realize you truly are in this together- in sickness AND in health.

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10.  You will highly respect one another.

I’m not talking about some sort of hierarchy of respect.  Quite the opposite.  This goes along with love- you value each other so much that you wouldn’t dare to truly hurt one another.  The right woman respects you as a man.  You respect her as a woman.  The right relationship requires just that- a mutual respect for another person as your equal.

Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list of everything that will happen to you (my wife would kill me if our marriage was boiled down to a top 10 list).  Mostly, we love one another unconditionally and view ourselves as equal partners.  We’re in this together.

You know that you’ve found the right woman when you wake up every morning smiling, knowing the love of your life is laying there right next to you.  There’s going to be a lot more of those special mornings.  And I can’t wait.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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