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Starting Today You Can Have Your Self-Confidence Back If You Stop Telling Yourself These Lies

Starting Today You Can Have Your Self-Confidence Back If You Stop Telling Yourself These Lies

What is it about our minds and the incessant voices in our heads that want us to believe everything we see hear and think about?

If you are anything like me, there is a battle than can rage inside your head going back and forth from positive to negative and between what’s true and what’s not.  It’s almost as if it isn’t enough that other people can bring this kind torture to us without us bringing it upon ourselves.

Since children we are conditioned to believe certain things, that we can only do what other’s say we can do and that life has limits and if we ever go beyond then, well who knows what will happen!  Our lives are built on fear, fear of failure, rejection and now fear of never fully getting what we truly want in this beautiful once in a lifetime life!

That’s why this is so important; because if we stop telling these lies, limiting our choices and chances we can all live an abundant, love fuelled and exciting life, we can all believe that our dreams are possible and that doesn’t have to be a constant struggle.

To believe in yourself is 100% important and it’s those little lies that turn into doubts  which can chip away at you and your self-confidence, so be sure to look at the following 7 examples of lies that you tell yourself and how to deal with them.

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Your dreams are unrealistic and impossible to achieve

Why is it that as human’s we are compelled to root for the underdog the person who has everything against them but they still achieve the impossible?  It’s because we relate, we want to do the exact same things yet we stop ourselves because we think it’s impossible.

We wait for something to happen to us or change our lives instead of going out there and getting it for ourselves.  So ask yourself this, why are you waiting for permission to do what you’ve always wanted to do?  Give yourself the permission and believe it is possible, do it today your self-confidence needs you!

You are not worthy of love

I just don’t get it when people believe this.  We were all brought into this world through love, one way or another.   The biggest love of all is our love of ourselves which over the years may have taken a huge battering from our peers or authority figures.

When your self-confidence is at an all-time low it can be pretty hard imagining that someone can love you.  But that’s where it starts, if you love yourself then others will follow suit.  Self-love is totally within your control, you can choose whether someone or something in your life is good or bad for you. You’ll gain more self-confidence the more you love yourself and the more that grows the more love will come your way.

You are worthy of love, everyone is worthy of love make no bones about it.

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You do not deserve happiness

Happiness is available for everyone, we were born to be happy and because of that it is abundant and ever present.   Never let anyone or anything tell you otherwise and remember that delaying happiness when you achieve a certain goal, or get that dream job or meet the perfect partner is just silly.  Enjoy each day as they come, live in the present moment and most of all be grateful for all that you have.

Being happy on the inside creates better self-confidence because you know that you are all you need to be happy not external things or circumstances.  So go be happy and smile, life is way too short to be miserable!

Your circumstances do not define your success

If people like J K Rowling, Martin Luther King and Oprah Winfrey all believed that their circumstances prior to making it big, were going to hinder their success in the future they wouldn’t be so successful as they are today.

Your current circumstances do not define you or your success. You define you. If you continue to let your past failures affect your future your self-confidence will wither away and die.  You will be on an endless cycle of defeat and negativity.  You’ve got to believe that through whatever challenge comes up or difficulty that will emerge that you can still achieve your dreams and desires.

You are not enough

Who has told you this other than yourself?  You may have been fed these lies in your past and yet you still continue to believe them, for what reason?

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Each day you can be a better person than you were the day before.  You can choose to be kind, caring and loving or you can chose to believe that you are not enough and drag everyone along on the miserable journey with you.

Everyone is more than good enough. You are intelligent, you are beautiful, you are resourceful and you are strong. You are good enough!  You have to believe this before anyone else will believe it and even if they don’t who cares!

You are not special or unique

This has to be the biggest lie of all because there is no one on this god given earth more unique than you.  There is no one else here like you, not in their looks, their body, their personality or their capability to succeed.

We were all born to fulfill our own purpose, every single one of us, and it is up to you to work out what that it.  This makes you special and unique.  You have to embrace who you are, flaws, quirks, oddities and everything!

Never believe you are not special, you are and don’t you forget it!

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You are not worthy of being wealthy

Wealth can mean many things to many people.  It can be defined in monetary value, in relationships, love and it can be defined in inner peace and way of life.  It is 100% your personal choice what it means to you.

If you think you are not worth of the wealth you desire, ask yourself what kind of beliefs do you have around money or whatever it is.  Question these beliefs and create a new story on acquiring new beliefs and the wealth you want.

You know we all deserve so much more than we expect as there is abundance in all this. Our self- confidence is dictated by our beliefs and what stories we decide to tell ourselves. So from today promise yourself you will tell better more positive stories.  You have one life so make sure it’s a good one.

You deserve it.

 

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Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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