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Starting Today You Can Have Your Self-Confidence Back If You Stop Telling Yourself These Lies

Starting Today You Can Have Your Self-Confidence Back If You Stop Telling Yourself These Lies

What is it about our minds and the incessant voices in our heads that want us to believe everything we see hear and think about?

If you are anything like me, there is a battle than can rage inside your head going back and forth from positive to negative and between what’s true and what’s not.  It’s almost as if it isn’t enough that other people can bring this kind torture to us without us bringing it upon ourselves.

Since children we are conditioned to believe certain things, that we can only do what other’s say we can do and that life has limits and if we ever go beyond then, well who knows what will happen!  Our lives are built on fear, fear of failure, rejection and now fear of never fully getting what we truly want in this beautiful once in a lifetime life!

That’s why this is so important; because if we stop telling these lies, limiting our choices and chances we can all live an abundant, love fuelled and exciting life, we can all believe that our dreams are possible and that doesn’t have to be a constant struggle.

To believe in yourself is 100% important and it’s those little lies that turn into doubts  which can chip away at you and your self-confidence, so be sure to look at the following 7 examples of lies that you tell yourself and how to deal with them.

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Your dreams are unrealistic and impossible to achieve

Why is it that as human’s we are compelled to root for the underdog the person who has everything against them but they still achieve the impossible?  It’s because we relate, we want to do the exact same things yet we stop ourselves because we think it’s impossible.

We wait for something to happen to us or change our lives instead of going out there and getting it for ourselves.  So ask yourself this, why are you waiting for permission to do what you’ve always wanted to do?  Give yourself the permission and believe it is possible, do it today your self-confidence needs you!

You are not worthy of love

I just don’t get it when people believe this.  We were all brought into this world through love, one way or another.   The biggest love of all is our love of ourselves which over the years may have taken a huge battering from our peers or authority figures.

When your self-confidence is at an all-time low it can be pretty hard imagining that someone can love you.  But that’s where it starts, if you love yourself then others will follow suit.  Self-love is totally within your control, you can choose whether someone or something in your life is good or bad for you. You’ll gain more self-confidence the more you love yourself and the more that grows the more love will come your way.

You are worthy of love, everyone is worthy of love make no bones about it.

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You do not deserve happiness

Happiness is available for everyone, we were born to be happy and because of that it is abundant and ever present.   Never let anyone or anything tell you otherwise and remember that delaying happiness when you achieve a certain goal, or get that dream job or meet the perfect partner is just silly.  Enjoy each day as they come, live in the present moment and most of all be grateful for all that you have.

Being happy on the inside creates better self-confidence because you know that you are all you need to be happy not external things or circumstances.  So go be happy and smile, life is way too short to be miserable!

Your circumstances do not define your success

If people like J K Rowling, Martin Luther King and Oprah Winfrey all believed that their circumstances prior to making it big, were going to hinder their success in the future they wouldn’t be so successful as they are today.

Your current circumstances do not define you or your success. You define you. If you continue to let your past failures affect your future your self-confidence will wither away and die.  You will be on an endless cycle of defeat and negativity.  You’ve got to believe that through whatever challenge comes up or difficulty that will emerge that you can still achieve your dreams and desires.

You are not enough

Who has told you this other than yourself?  You may have been fed these lies in your past and yet you still continue to believe them, for what reason?

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Each day you can be a better person than you were the day before.  You can choose to be kind, caring and loving or you can chose to believe that you are not enough and drag everyone along on the miserable journey with you.

Everyone is more than good enough. You are intelligent, you are beautiful, you are resourceful and you are strong. You are good enough!  You have to believe this before anyone else will believe it and even if they don’t who cares!

You are not special or unique

This has to be the biggest lie of all because there is no one on this god given earth more unique than you.  There is no one else here like you, not in their looks, their body, their personality or their capability to succeed.

We were all born to fulfill our own purpose, every single one of us, and it is up to you to work out what that it.  This makes you special and unique.  You have to embrace who you are, flaws, quirks, oddities and everything!

Never believe you are not special, you are and don’t you forget it!

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You are not worthy of being wealthy

Wealth can mean many things to many people.  It can be defined in monetary value, in relationships, love and it can be defined in inner peace and way of life.  It is 100% your personal choice what it means to you.

If you think you are not worth of the wealth you desire, ask yourself what kind of beliefs do you have around money or whatever it is.  Question these beliefs and create a new story on acquiring new beliefs and the wealth you want.

You know we all deserve so much more than we expect as there is abundance in all this. Our self- confidence is dictated by our beliefs and what stories we decide to tell ourselves. So from today promise yourself you will tell better more positive stories.  You have one life so make sure it’s a good one.

You deserve it.

 

More by this author

Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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