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Seeking Passion in Your Life? First Step: Simplify.

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Seeking Passion in Your Life? First Step: Simplify.

Passions can be elusive playmates. While some people seem to be born knowing what they want, some of us have to try everything out first to see if it fits. I know people who set their course for their dream job as soon as they could talk. And, then there are others who have no clue what they want to do when the grow up—even when they grow up. I fell into this late-bloomer category and followed a career for security reasons over life passion. I did this because I discovered I wasn’t living my passion after I was already in a cushy career. Breaking out of the rat race after getting comfortable there isn’t easy. But, staying in a job once I knew my true calling was worse. It led to burnout after ten years. Take it from me, you can earn a living following your heart. Don’t sacrifice your passions for a paycheck.

What about you? Are you following your fire within? If not, how do you find it? In my experience, you have to simply your life and let go!

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Let Go of the Stuff

The main reason I felt the need to continue in a career that I didn’t love is because I had a huge mortgage and a lot of stuff to manage; I knew I had to make X amount per year to feed our hungry budget. There wasn’t any way I could do that immediately by following my writing dream. So, my consumerism trapped me by plugging my ears to my inner heart cry.

When I sold the stuff, all of the pressure to make my current salary went with it. I was finally free of a cage that I didn’t realize I was contained in until it was gone. I realize this is a drastic move, and I’m not advocating you sell everything—unless it’s exactly what you need.

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Let Go of Your Need for Security

One reason I kept working for others doing something I didn’t enjoy was that I craved security. In my job, I always knew how much I would make. I had a company car and an amazing health care plan. Now, I no longer have those things. There are certainly sacrifices along the way, yet the peace found in pursuing my passion far outweighs my lack of company benefits and salary.

Is there a passion burning within, but you are afraid to follow it? I understand! It took me almost ten years to get up the courage, but every day you spend not doing what you love because of fear will cause you regret later. It’s just more of your life invested in surviving vs. living.

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Let Go of the Expectations

I always felt that to be successful, I needed to make an amazing salary. I thought that was the best way to measure success. I also stayed in a steady job because I felt that was what others expected from me. I was trying to fit into a mold, even though I wasn’t the author of it. I no longer feel that way. Chasing money over passion creates emptiness: If the money comes from pursing my passion, so much the better, but if it doesn’t, I am still doing what I love. An extra two thousand square feet in a house and a slightly nicer car aren’t worth the burn out.

Are you working in a role because you feel it meets others expectations for you? Maybe it’s time to have a talk about what you really want out of life. While I’m not advocating ignoring responsibilities or leaping off a ledge without a plan in place, it’s also ridiculous to ignore the proactive steps needed to break into your area of interest eventually. You may not have the luxury of leaving your job right away. But, even tiny daily steps such as researching opportunities, training options, and talking with others in your desired field will move you toward a happier future.

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Letting Go of the Job = Self Worth Mentality

You are so much more than your business card. In our culture, most people define their worth by a fancy job title. For years, I was trapped in this mindset: I wanted to see how much money I could make and how many promotions I could get, because somehow I felt this would mean I was worth more as a person. If others saw my value and paid me for it, then it was a justification of my merit. At the time, I placed success in my job on such a pedestal that I unknowingly was sacrificing my relationships, my health, and my marriage.

Now, I measure my self worth differently. I ask myself hard questions daily, such as: Am I doing what I love? Am I giving my best in all areas of life? At the end of my life, will I have regrets? Am I valuing people or possessions? Am I helping others? Am I leaving a legacy? If today were my last day of life, would I be happy with how I spent it? Living in this mindset brings me peace and shows me that I don’t need a massive salary or job title to be valued or happy.

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Let Go of  the Rat Race

Often, work creates a lot of distractions that prevent you from deeper emotional digging. I found that when I was working, the mental endurance needed to do my job left me too exhausted to entertain other possibilities. I was so absorbed in my work, I didn’t take time to evaluate my life. While I took a drastic step and left my job, anyone can take a few days off to devote to some self exploration. Go somewhere quiet and peaceful for a few days. Consider what you value and if it aligns with how you currently spend your time. It’s empowering when you finally decide to quit the martyrdom and embrace what excites you.

If you aren’t following your life longings currently, deep down you already know it. While it is scary to let go, it is even scarier to give your years to something that you dread doing. So many people just slog through their days and live for the weekends. That’s not the way I want to spend my time! Simplify your life, remove the noise that’s drowning out your inner voice, and discover your passion. You will often find you can make an amazing living, and an even more amazing life, doing what you love.

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Sarah Hansen

A corporate-sales professional turned entrepreneur

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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