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How To Have A Healthy Relationship

How To Have A Healthy Relationship

Developing an understanding of how to have a healthy relationship means that you need to be open to changing yourself. You can’t control how your partner behaves, but you can control your behavior. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires hard work and dedication. Here are 10 key tips:

1. Accept Responsibility for Your Part of the Problems

In any partnership, both people share responsibility for success and failures. When problems arise, spend more time focusing on how you contributed to the problem, rather than accusing your partner of causing it. Acknowledge and accept your share of the responsibility before pointing fingers at your partner.

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2. Avoid Reacting on Emotion Only

People make the best decisions when they use a combination of logic and emotion. Avoid reacting impulsively based on how you feel in the moment. Otherwise, you’re likely to say and do things that can damage the relationship. Instead, wait until you are calm and rational before attempting to address or resolve a problem.

3. Develop Healthy Boundaries

A lot of people wonder how to have a healthy relationship when they’ve got meddling in-laws or nosy neighbors. It’s important to protect your relationship by developing healthy boundaries with others. This means maintaining privacy, not allowing other people to come between you, and protecting your relationship. Poor boundaries can lead to serious relationship trouble.

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4. Be a Companion, Not a Clone

Focus on being your partner’s companion by behaving in a complementary way. Don’t constantly seek approval for everything you say and do. It’s healthy to have differences of opinion and it can lead to a healthy balance in relationships.

5. Practice Self-Care

The healthiest people make the best partners. So, take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually so that you can offer your partner your very best. Make self-care a priority in your life.

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6. Look for the Positive

Remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities. Look at the best in others and don’t assume that your partner intentionally set out to hurt you. Instead, consider your partner’s good intentions and focus on what is working well in your relationship.

7. Focus on Quality over Quantity of Time

A lot of people wonder how to have a healthy relationship when they don’t have enough time to spend together. Focus on ensuring that the time you spend together is quality time. Turn off the technological devices, give one another your undivided attention, and engage in meaningful conversation. Schedule regular date nights and try to plan a weekend get-away at least once a year.

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8. Treat Love as a Verb, Not an Emotion

It’s normal for loving feelings to come and go as your relationship changes. However, you shouldn’t base your relationship on how you feel. Instead, treat love as a verb.

Behave lovingly, even when you don’t feel like it. Show your love through your actions. Focus on making your partner feel loved and it can make a big difference in the health of your relationship.

9. Focus on What You’re Giving, Not What You’re Getting

If you’re not getting what you need out of the relationship, it’s likely your partner isn’t either. Instead of demanding that things need to change, focus on what you’re giving to the relationship. When you start ensuring your partner’s needs are getting met, you’ll likely find that your needs will be met as well.

10. Remember What Drew You Together in the First Place

Understanding how to have a healthy relationship that stands the test of time requires you to recall what attracted you to your partner in the first place. You picked your partner for a reason; however, those reasons can sometimes get lost due the busyness of life. Take time to recall the reason that you chose to be with your partner and keep that in the forefront of your mind as you go through tough times together.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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