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How To Have A Healthy Relationship

How To Have A Healthy Relationship

Developing an understanding of how to have a healthy relationship means that you need to be open to changing yourself. You can’t control how your partner behaves, but you can control your behavior. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires hard work and dedication. Here are 10 key tips:

1. Accept Responsibility for Your Part of the Problems

In any partnership, both people share responsibility for success and failures. When problems arise, spend more time focusing on how you contributed to the problem, rather than accusing your partner of causing it. Acknowledge and accept your share of the responsibility before pointing fingers at your partner.

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2. Avoid Reacting on Emotion Only

People make the best decisions when they use a combination of logic and emotion. Avoid reacting impulsively based on how you feel in the moment. Otherwise, you’re likely to say and do things that can damage the relationship. Instead, wait until you are calm and rational before attempting to address or resolve a problem.

3. Develop Healthy Boundaries

A lot of people wonder how to have a healthy relationship when they’ve got meddling in-laws or nosy neighbors. It’s important to protect your relationship by developing healthy boundaries with others. This means maintaining privacy, not allowing other people to come between you, and protecting your relationship. Poor boundaries can lead to serious relationship trouble.

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4. Be a Companion, Not a Clone

Focus on being your partner’s companion by behaving in a complementary way. Don’t constantly seek approval for everything you say and do. It’s healthy to have differences of opinion and it can lead to a healthy balance in relationships.

5. Practice Self-Care

The healthiest people make the best partners. So, take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually so that you can offer your partner your very best. Make self-care a priority in your life.

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6. Look for the Positive

Remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities. Look at the best in others and don’t assume that your partner intentionally set out to hurt you. Instead, consider your partner’s good intentions and focus on what is working well in your relationship.

7. Focus on Quality over Quantity of Time

A lot of people wonder how to have a healthy relationship when they don’t have enough time to spend together. Focus on ensuring that the time you spend together is quality time. Turn off the technological devices, give one another your undivided attention, and engage in meaningful conversation. Schedule regular date nights and try to plan a weekend get-away at least once a year.

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8. Treat Love as a Verb, Not an Emotion

It’s normal for loving feelings to come and go as your relationship changes. However, you shouldn’t base your relationship on how you feel. Instead, treat love as a verb.

Behave lovingly, even when you don’t feel like it. Show your love through your actions. Focus on making your partner feel loved and it can make a big difference in the health of your relationship.

9. Focus on What You’re Giving, Not What You’re Getting

If you’re not getting what you need out of the relationship, it’s likely your partner isn’t either. Instead of demanding that things need to change, focus on what you’re giving to the relationship. When you start ensuring your partner’s needs are getting met, you’ll likely find that your needs will be met as well.

10. Remember What Drew You Together in the First Place

Understanding how to have a healthy relationship that stands the test of time requires you to recall what attracted you to your partner in the first place. You picked your partner for a reason; however, those reasons can sometimes get lost due the busyness of life. Take time to recall the reason that you chose to be with your partner and keep that in the forefront of your mind as you go through tough times together.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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