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9 Successful Ways To Talk To Women And Make Them Love You

9 Successful Ways To Talk To Women And Make Them Love You

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. At least this is what we have been told.

There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.

How to Talk to Women

    What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. You cannot start an argument with “Men are all ……” and not look ignorant, because all men aren’t anything.

    The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.

    I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them? Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret. It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately love with them.

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    1. Look past the façade and see the real person beneath it.

    Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that.

    No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately. We are most proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman (or a man or a child) look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.

    In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on. Find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time talking to pseudo personalities. They just aren’t worth it.

    2. Take the time to build common ground and understanding.

    Practice this skill. Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the check out, find something you like about the checkout person.

    I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeing you and not some nameless, faceless person. They will automatically start feeling a little better about you.

    3. Let the person talk about herself.

    This is the easy part. You don’t have to be dazzling or brilliant. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.

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    For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry (or a sweater or scarf) and the conversation has started. Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. “Oh, my mom bought it for me for my birthday!’ You then smile and say “What a great mom you have!” or something that you know she will agree with.

    Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself. This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends. From there an invitation for coffee is a perfect next step to get to know each other better.

    4. Avoid subjects on which you do not agree.

    There is no quicker way to make someone hate your guts than to take an opposing viewpoint to theirs and then try to convince them that they are wrong. Let’s say your adorable check out person has accepted your invite for coffee! Yay!  This is a big step. Don’t blow it now by trying to impress her with how smart, big, or strong you are, and how dumb, weak, and misguided she is. If you do this, this will be your last date and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead find things that you agree on.

    If you disagree on politics, avoid that subject like a five day old burrito stub that you have just dug up from under the sofa because your negative comments on the subject will be just about as welcome. Stick to the things you wholeheartedly agree on and you will be fine.

    5. Don’t violate her personal space.

    Your adorable clerk is a woman. She has had her share of guys trying to cosy up to her and get close. Respect her by giving her space. Trying to move in too close when she is not ready for that is a violation of her limits. To her this may mean that if you violate limits now, who knows what limits will be violated when she allows you into her world?

    6. Get your personal hygiene handled!

    Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Don’t stink at all! I know I shouldn’t have to say this but sometimes people don’t know they stink. Make sure you don’t! If you just had coffee and a cigarette, chew some gum or something!

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    Check your teeth and make sure you don’t have anything stuck in them. Don’t look all rumpled unless it is sexy rumpled. Pay a little attention to your wardrobe. Look clean and don’t wear old threadbare clothes. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself and your outward appearance is an indicator of your respect level for yourself.

    Don’t worry if you are a little overweigh or feel you are too short or have any other personal attribute that bothers you. Most people don’t even notice these things. If they do and do not want to talk to you because of them, they are not worth it anyway. Move on! There are many wonderful ladies out there who are looking for a caring and nice person like you.

    7. What about gifts?

    Most people love gifts but there are times when gifts are unwelcome. Let’s say you and your beautiful clerk are now having dinner together this evening. It is perfectly appropriate to give her flowers but don’t give her flowers, chocolate in a heart shaped box and a new car.

    She does not want to be put under an obligation and too many gifts make her feel that she now has to do something for you. While this may sound great, it feels awful. Have you ever shown up at work and forgotten that it was pot luck day and you brought nothing? How did you feel? Did you go around telling everyone that you forgot it was pot luck day and then ate only chips? Did you sneak out the back and give the whole thing a miss because the obligation was just too much? Do you see what I mean?

    If you want to impress her, wash and clean your car. Ask her what kind of movie she likes or what she likes to eat and make reservations at a restaurant you know she will love. Take time to create an evening that she will find magical. What will impress her is the care you took and the respect you had for her to take that time.

    8. Choose wisely!

    Remember! Not all women are desirable just because they are women or because they are pretty. A pretty snake can still kill you and a woman who is negative, antagonistic, or passive aggressive (also referred to as covertly hostile) will make your life, and the life of any children you may have, miserable.

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    Think ahead before getting serious. If you find that your future girlfriend is one of these types, give her a hearty “So long, farewell, auf wiedershen and don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

    A warm and loving woman with a twinkle in her eye and a sense of humor is far more desirable than a pretty psycho. Beauty can fade over time when it is only on the surface. Real beauty that you see when you see the perfect person underneath is forever. Life is a tough game and only someone who has integrity, compassion and commitment will be there for you when you really need her.

    The others, if they are self centered or psycho will be long gone the minute you need a friend the most.

    9. Recognize when she is not interested and move on.

    Let’s face it, even though you are wonderful, dazzling and brilliant, you may not be someone’s cup of cherries or bowl of tea as far as future boyfriend material is concerned. It happens. If it is clear that she does not want a relationship, then ok. You are not wrong and neither is she. Perhaps you can be friends. One can never have too many nice people in one’s life.

    There you have it! The important information on how to talk to anyone. Now go forth young Jedi warrior and use your power for good. I expect an invite to your wedding or at least send me a slice of the wedding cake!

    Featured photo credit: Irish Times via irishtimes.com

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    Last Updated on January 18, 2019

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

    But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

    If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

    1. Limit the time you spend with them.

    First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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    In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

    Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

    2. Speak up for yourself.

    Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

    3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

    This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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    But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

    4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

    Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

    This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

    Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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    5. Change the subject.

    When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

    Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

    6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

    Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

    I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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    You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

    Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

    7. Leave them behind.

    Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

    If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

    That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

    You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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