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9 Successful Ways To Talk To Women And Make Them Love You

9 Successful Ways To Talk To Women And Make Them Love You

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. At least this is what we have been told.

There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.

How to Talk to Women

    What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. You cannot start an argument with “Men are all ……” and not look ignorant, because all men aren’t anything.

    The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.

    I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them? Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret. It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately love with them.

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    1. Look past the façade and see the real person beneath it.

    Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that.

    No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately. We are most proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman (or a man or a child) look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.

    In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on. Find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time talking to pseudo personalities. They just aren’t worth it.

    2. Take the time to build common ground and understanding.

    Practice this skill. Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the check out, find something you like about the checkout person.

    I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeing you and not some nameless, faceless person. They will automatically start feeling a little better about you.

    3. Let the person talk about herself.

    This is the easy part. You don’t have to be dazzling or brilliant. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.

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    For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry (or a sweater or scarf) and the conversation has started. Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. “Oh, my mom bought it for me for my birthday!’ You then smile and say “What a great mom you have!” or something that you know she will agree with.

    Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself. This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends. From there an invitation for coffee is a perfect next step to get to know each other better.

    4. Avoid subjects on which you do not agree.

    There is no quicker way to make someone hate your guts than to take an opposing viewpoint to theirs and then try to convince them that they are wrong. Let’s say your adorable check out person has accepted your invite for coffee! Yay!  This is a big step. Don’t blow it now by trying to impress her with how smart, big, or strong you are, and how dumb, weak, and misguided she is. If you do this, this will be your last date and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead find things that you agree on.

    If you disagree on politics, avoid that subject like a five day old burrito stub that you have just dug up from under the sofa because your negative comments on the subject will be just about as welcome. Stick to the things you wholeheartedly agree on and you will be fine.

    5. Don’t violate her personal space.

    Your adorable clerk is a woman. She has had her share of guys trying to cosy up to her and get close. Respect her by giving her space. Trying to move in too close when she is not ready for that is a violation of her limits. To her this may mean that if you violate limits now, who knows what limits will be violated when she allows you into her world?

    6. Get your personal hygiene handled!

    Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Don’t stink at all! I know I shouldn’t have to say this but sometimes people don’t know they stink. Make sure you don’t! If you just had coffee and a cigarette, chew some gum or something!

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    Check your teeth and make sure you don’t have anything stuck in them. Don’t look all rumpled unless it is sexy rumpled. Pay a little attention to your wardrobe. Look clean and don’t wear old threadbare clothes. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself and your outward appearance is an indicator of your respect level for yourself.

    Don’t worry if you are a little overweigh or feel you are too short or have any other personal attribute that bothers you. Most people don’t even notice these things. If they do and do not want to talk to you because of them, they are not worth it anyway. Move on! There are many wonderful ladies out there who are looking for a caring and nice person like you.

    7. What about gifts?

    Most people love gifts but there are times when gifts are unwelcome. Let’s say you and your beautiful clerk are now having dinner together this evening. It is perfectly appropriate to give her flowers but don’t give her flowers, chocolate in a heart shaped box and a new car.

    She does not want to be put under an obligation and too many gifts make her feel that she now has to do something for you. While this may sound great, it feels awful. Have you ever shown up at work and forgotten that it was pot luck day and you brought nothing? How did you feel? Did you go around telling everyone that you forgot it was pot luck day and then ate only chips? Did you sneak out the back and give the whole thing a miss because the obligation was just too much? Do you see what I mean?

    If you want to impress her, wash and clean your car. Ask her what kind of movie she likes or what she likes to eat and make reservations at a restaurant you know she will love. Take time to create an evening that she will find magical. What will impress her is the care you took and the respect you had for her to take that time.

    8. Choose wisely!

    Remember! Not all women are desirable just because they are women or because they are pretty. A pretty snake can still kill you and a woman who is negative, antagonistic, or passive aggressive (also referred to as covertly hostile) will make your life, and the life of any children you may have, miserable.

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    Think ahead before getting serious. If you find that your future girlfriend is one of these types, give her a hearty “So long, farewell, auf wiedershen and don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

    A warm and loving woman with a twinkle in her eye and a sense of humor is far more desirable than a pretty psycho. Beauty can fade over time when it is only on the surface. Real beauty that you see when you see the perfect person underneath is forever. Life is a tough game and only someone who has integrity, compassion and commitment will be there for you when you really need her.

    The others, if they are self centered or psycho will be long gone the minute you need a friend the most.

    9. Recognize when she is not interested and move on.

    Let’s face it, even though you are wonderful, dazzling and brilliant, you may not be someone’s cup of cherries or bowl of tea as far as future boyfriend material is concerned. It happens. If it is clear that she does not want a relationship, then ok. You are not wrong and neither is she. Perhaps you can be friends. One can never have too many nice people in one’s life.

    There you have it! The important information on how to talk to anyone. Now go forth young Jedi warrior and use your power for good. I expect an invite to your wedding or at least send me a slice of the wedding cake!

    Featured photo credit: Irish Times via irishtimes.com

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    Last Updated on March 25, 2020

    How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

    How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

    How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

    Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

    That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

    Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

    1. Write Your Goals

    The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

    Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

    As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

    Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

    2. Beat Procrastination

    Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

    Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

    Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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    What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

    When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

    3. Celebrate Small Wins

    In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

    Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

    It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

    So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

    4. Practice Gratitude

    It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

    Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

    So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

    60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

    By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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    5. Be Optimistic

    Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

    At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

    Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

    6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

    A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

    Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

    What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

    So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

    10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

    7. Face your Fears

    You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

    If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

    Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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    Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

    How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

    Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

    8. Visualize your Success

    You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

    One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

    Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

    9. Find Inspiration

    Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

    From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

    Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

    Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

    10. Enjoy Downtime

    You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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    Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

    You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

    11. Meditate Regularly

    Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

    Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

    Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

    The Bottom Line

    Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

    However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

    So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

    More Tips About Staying Motivated

    Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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