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4 Things You Should Never Tolerate

4 Things You Should Never Tolerate
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Compassion is an important (and incredibly sexy) trait – it’s the basis of tolerance, which everyone should have for each other. It’s difficult having a blanket of compassion and tolerance for people, but it’s necessary in order to create a world in which we can all live in harmony. While we should all practice compassion in all of our dealings, here are four things you should never tolerate under any circumstances:

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    Hatred

    Sexism. Racism. Ageism. Religious persecution. It’s amazing how many ways people find to label and hate each other. What’s the point of hate? Has hating someone ever accomplished anything for you? I’ve never thought to myself, “It’s a good thing I hated ___, otherwise, I never would’ve ___.” Hatred contributes nothing to the human collective. Consider the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “A man is but the product of his thoughts—what he thinks, he becomes.”

    If you fill your thoughts with hate, there won’t be room for love; even if you find someone to love who’s willing to love you back, your hatred will eventually replace the love you have for each other. It works like this: if all you think about is negative, you’ll become a negative person. While you’re out with your friends, you’ll be focusing on what’s bothering you instead of experiencing and enjoying the present moment. Just because you’re lost in your thoughts doesn’t mean the entire world suddenly stops—you’ll exist in everyone else’s present moment as a downer who’s frowning, angry, and dragging the energy down around them. Nobody wants to be around a negative person.

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    To make matters worse, your hatred will manifest itself in all the wrong ways. You may be mad at your mom for breaking up a party, but while you’re sulking about it in public, you’ll encounter random strangers. These people have no idea who you are or what you’re going through; all they see is some angry person walking down the street. One of them may greet you, but you’ll be too wrapped up in your thoughts to notice. The person you ignored may think they’re the strange one and stop greeting people. You may even be curt or flat out rude to someone you normally wouldn’t if in the right frame of mind.

    Not only should we all stop the hatred in our hearts, but we must not allow external hatred affect us either. Every time a gathering is attacked, the intention is to make us all fear or hate other people. We must never allow ourselves to fall victim to hatred. The correct way to live is to encourage others to be kind through our own actions.

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      Personal Attacks

      Debating whether or not illegal immigration can be curbed is one thing—insulting someone’s character because you don’t agree with them is unacceptable. There are billions of us sharing this planet, and it’s a rather enclosed space. We don’t always have to agree or work together, but there’s no reason we can’t all coexist.

      It’s ok to disagree; nobody should mind if you are passionate. At the same time, you need to ensure you are only countering someone’s ideas. You should also be mindful of not getting offended when someone “attacks” your ideas. As long as everyone can keep a cool head, our interactions will flow much more efficiently. Remember to be the change you want to see in the world, and stop making personal attacks right now, regardless of whether or not anyone makes a personal attack against you. Take a look at the person staring back at you in the mirror, and never do anything to make that person feel ashamed to look back at you.

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        Violence

        There are a lot of situations we face in life, and sometimes it can feel like violence is the only answer. No matter what scenario you can imagine in which violence is necessary, you’re not correct. It’s unrealistic to believe that we could exist in total peace, but humanity should strive to condemn violent acts. This is already happening on social media and throughout the internet. People are speaking up against those who perform egregious and despicable acts against humanity, nature, and anything else. Rape, murder, beatings, bullying—none of it is tolerated in the digital world.

        Although society has evolved technologically over the last two millennia, nothing much has really changed. Human beings are a hive mind, and the mob mentality is only accentuated by the speed and breadth in which information can be dispersed on the internet. We need to be careful not to allow our passion for peace to instead bring violence to the world. Instead of inciting violence, condemn it. Don’t spend all your time condemning it though. It’s not enough to simply not be violent; we should strive to promote love as well.

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          Inequality

          The United States, like many other countries in modern society, promotes freedom and equality for all. A lot of people rest on their laurels and assume their freedom and equality is all that matters, but there’s an inherent flaw in this logic. You can never truly be free if everyone isn’t also free—that’s how freedom and equality work.

          In order for us to progress as a society, we need to ensure that everyone progresses. It’s important that every human being of every sex, religion, race, sexual orientation, and age, is treated equally. This may seem like a pipe dream, but it’s very achievable, and it can be accomplished by each and every one of us. If you take nothing else away from this post, understand that the way you treat people matters: if you treat people the way you want to be treated (with respect, courtesy, and integrity), they will be more likely to treat you the same way. If they don’t, suck it up and move forward to the next person. Every single choice you make in your life contributes to the whole of humanity—make them all count!

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          Last Updated on July 20, 2021

          How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

          How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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          You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

          Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

          Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

          Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

          1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

          According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

          “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

          Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

          Warming up

          If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

          If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

          Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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          1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
          2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
          3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

          Stay hydrated

          Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

          To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

          Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

          Meditate

          Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

          Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

          Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

          Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

          2. Focus on your goal

          One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

          Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

          Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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          Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

          If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

          3. Convert negativity to positivity

          There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

          ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

          It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

          Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

          Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

          Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

          4. Understand your content

          Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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          However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

          “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

          Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

          Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

          One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

          5. Practice makes perfect

          Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

          In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

          Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

          6. Be authentic

          There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

          Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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          Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

          To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

          With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

          Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

          7. Post speech evaluation

          Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

          Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

          We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

          You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

          Improve your next speech

          As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

          Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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          • How did I do?
          • Are there any areas for improvement?
          • Did I sound or look stressed?
          • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
          • Was I saying “um” too often?
          • How was the flow of the speech?

          Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

          If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

          Reference

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