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25 Hilarious Truths About Life and Love We Can Learn From Woody Allen Movies

25 Hilarious Truths About Life and Love We Can Learn From Woody Allen Movies

After talking with almost everyone close to me in my life, I can without a doubt say that the majority all hate Woody Allen.  My mom hates him. My roommates think he’s a pervert.  My dog even barks when he sees him on the television screen!

I was just kidding about that last part.  I don’t own a dog, but if I did, I’m sure he’d hate him too.

However, even with all his scandals and quirks, there’s something about Woody Allen that makes him strangely charming; and for me, that’s his writing.  In fact, one of my favorite quotes, which happens to be #20 on this list, is from a Woody Allen movie.  He has a particular way of conveying truths about human nature through humor that’s unparalleled by any other satirical screenwriter, and that’s saying something.

So despite all the negativity surrounding him, I believe we can all learn something and relate in some way to the characters he’s created in his films.

After all, he’s led a long and highly interesting life.  I’d be surprised if he didn’t have any life experiences to impart to his audiences.

Here are 25 hilarious life truths about life and love we can learn from Woody Allen’s films:

 

1. We all come from different walks of life.

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Antz

    “Let’s be real about this. Bala and I… Bala is a princess, and I’m a soil relocation engineer” – Z, from Antz

    2.) And we all have our differences.

    “Exercising changed my life”

    “I prefer to atrophy.” – Lillian House and Larry Lipton, from Manhattan Murder Mystery

    3.) But we’re similar in the fact that sometimes we feel insecure in ourselves.

    “You can’t learn to be real. It’s like learning to be a midget.” – Gil Shepherd, from The Purple Rose of Cairo

    4.) There will be times when we doubt ourselves completely.

    “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I’m 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.” – Miles Monroe, from Sleeper

    5.) As well as our authority figures.

    AnnieHall_024Pyxurz

       

      “Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat… college.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

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      6.) But eventually we come to realize: if we can’t be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with?

      “I had a great evening; it was like the Nuremberg Trials.” – Mickey, from Hannah and Her Sisters

      7.) Once we learn to embrace who we are, we can learn to embrace others.

      “For me, love is very deep, sex only has to go a few inches.” – Rita, from Bullets Over Broadway

      8.) It all starts with having our priorities in check.

      “Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a Stoli martini with a twist of lemon?” – Jasmine, from Blue Jasmine

      9.) And realizing there is no absolute truth in this world.

      “Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.” – Miles Monroe, from Sleeper

      10.) So why worry? After all, taking risks is what makes life interesting.

       

      Purple09

        “It’s so impulsive, but… I’ll come. Why not? What’s life without a little risk taking? Who knows?” – Tom Baxter, from The Purple Rose of Cairo

        11.) Because if we keep reflecting on the past, we’re always going to worry about what could have been instead of what can be.

        “He is always very depressed. I think that if he’d been a successful criminal, he would have felt better. You know, he never made the ‘ten most wanted’ list. It’s very unfair voting; it’s who you know.” – Louise, from Take the Money and Run

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        12.) But what can be may not always turn out the way you planned.

        “If you want a happy ending, you should go see a Hollywood movie.” – Judah Rosenthal, from Crimes and Misdemeanors

        13.) You have to accept the things you cannot change.

        “A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

        14.) And the people you cannot change.

        “We fell in love. I fell in love – she just stood there.” – Fielding Mellish, from Bananas

        15.) But that’s okay, because making mistakes is a part of the process.

        everyone-says-i-love-you-woody-allen

          “There was a moment there when I stroked when I should have hickeyed.” – Joe, from Everyone Says I Love You

          16.) Sometimes it just isn’t meant to be.

          “We are meant for each other and not meant for each other. It’s a contradiction.” – Juan Antonio, from Vicky Christina Barcelona

          17.) Sometimes, you’re better off on your own.

          “No genius is worth too much heartache.” – Joe Bedloe, from Sweet and Lowdown

          18.) But when you do find “the one”, you’ll find that words cannot possibly express the depth of your feelings towards them.

          “Love is too weak a word for what I feel – I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F’s, yes I have to invent, of course I – I do, don’t you think I do?” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

          19.) But if they could, they would sound something kind of like this:

          “I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion.” – Isaac Davis, from Manhattan

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          20.) Because love is a beautiful, but confusing thing.

          Love-and-Death-Keaton

            “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.” – Sonja, from Love and Death

            21.) Just as life is a confusing thing.

            “16 blue ponies, 21 jetplanes, and 12 spinning midgets.” – Sid Waterman, from Scoop

            22.) As well as being cruel at times.

            “You know not everything in the world is sinister… just practically everything.” – Sid Waterman, from Scoop

            23.) But even in all the cruelness and confusion of this world, there is still hope for all of us.

            “You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No… not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.” – Helen Sinclair, from Bullets over Broadway

            24.) Because even if life doesn’t always give you what you want…

            “That’s what the present is. It’s a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying.” – Gil, from Midnight in Paris

            25.) It almost always gives you what you need

            1375930702_Allen

              “I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

              Featured photo credit: Woody Allen Glasses/alyssa_michele via flickr.com

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              Last Updated on September 20, 2018

              7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

              7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

              What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

              For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

              It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

              1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

              The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

              What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

              The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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              2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

              Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

              How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

              If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

              Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

              3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

              Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

              If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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              These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

              What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

              4. What are my goals in life?

              Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

              Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

              5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

              Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

              Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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              You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

              Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

              6. What do I not like to do?

              An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

              What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

              Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

              The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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              7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

              Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

              But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

              “What do I want to do with my life?”

              So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

              Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

              Reference

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