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25 Hilarious Truths About Life and Love We Can Learn From Woody Allen Movies

25 Hilarious Truths About Life and Love We Can Learn From Woody Allen Movies

After talking with almost everyone close to me in my life, I can without a doubt say that the majority all hate Woody Allen.  My mom hates him. My roommates think he’s a pervert.  My dog even barks when he sees him on the television screen!

I was just kidding about that last part.  I don’t own a dog, but if I did, I’m sure he’d hate him too.

However, even with all his scandals and quirks, there’s something about Woody Allen that makes him strangely charming; and for me, that’s his writing.  In fact, one of my favorite quotes, which happens to be #20 on this list, is from a Woody Allen movie.  He has a particular way of conveying truths about human nature through humor that’s unparalleled by any other satirical screenwriter, and that’s saying something.

So despite all the negativity surrounding him, I believe we can all learn something and relate in some way to the characters he’s created in his films.

After all, he’s led a long and highly interesting life.  I’d be surprised if he didn’t have any life experiences to impart to his audiences.

Here are 25 hilarious life truths about life and love we can learn from Woody Allen’s films:

 

1. We all come from different walks of life.

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Antz

    “Let’s be real about this. Bala and I… Bala is a princess, and I’m a soil relocation engineer” – Z, from Antz

    2.) And we all have our differences.

    “Exercising changed my life”

    “I prefer to atrophy.” – Lillian House and Larry Lipton, from Manhattan Murder Mystery

    3.) But we’re similar in the fact that sometimes we feel insecure in ourselves.

    “You can’t learn to be real. It’s like learning to be a midget.” – Gil Shepherd, from The Purple Rose of Cairo

    4.) There will be times when we doubt ourselves completely.

    “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I’m 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.” – Miles Monroe, from Sleeper

    5.) As well as our authority figures.

    AnnieHall_024Pyxurz

       

      “Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat… college.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

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      6.) But eventually we come to realize: if we can’t be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with?

      “I had a great evening; it was like the Nuremberg Trials.” – Mickey, from Hannah and Her Sisters

      7.) Once we learn to embrace who we are, we can learn to embrace others.

      “For me, love is very deep, sex only has to go a few inches.” – Rita, from Bullets Over Broadway

      8.) It all starts with having our priorities in check.

      “Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a Stoli martini with a twist of lemon?” – Jasmine, from Blue Jasmine

      9.) And realizing there is no absolute truth in this world.

      “Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.” – Miles Monroe, from Sleeper

      10.) So why worry? After all, taking risks is what makes life interesting.

       

      Purple09

        “It’s so impulsive, but… I’ll come. Why not? What’s life without a little risk taking? Who knows?” – Tom Baxter, from The Purple Rose of Cairo

        11.) Because if we keep reflecting on the past, we’re always going to worry about what could have been instead of what can be.

        “He is always very depressed. I think that if he’d been a successful criminal, he would have felt better. You know, he never made the ‘ten most wanted’ list. It’s very unfair voting; it’s who you know.” – Louise, from Take the Money and Run

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        12.) But what can be may not always turn out the way you planned.

        “If you want a happy ending, you should go see a Hollywood movie.” – Judah Rosenthal, from Crimes and Misdemeanors

        13.) You have to accept the things you cannot change.

        “A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

        14.) And the people you cannot change.

        “We fell in love. I fell in love – she just stood there.” – Fielding Mellish, from Bananas

        15.) But that’s okay, because making mistakes is a part of the process.

        everyone-says-i-love-you-woody-allen

          “There was a moment there when I stroked when I should have hickeyed.” – Joe, from Everyone Says I Love You

          16.) Sometimes it just isn’t meant to be.

          “We are meant for each other and not meant for each other. It’s a contradiction.” – Juan Antonio, from Vicky Christina Barcelona

          17.) Sometimes, you’re better off on your own.

          “No genius is worth too much heartache.” – Joe Bedloe, from Sweet and Lowdown

          18.) But when you do find “the one”, you’ll find that words cannot possibly express the depth of your feelings towards them.

          “Love is too weak a word for what I feel – I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F’s, yes I have to invent, of course I – I do, don’t you think I do?” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

          19.) But if they could, they would sound something kind of like this:

          “I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion.” – Isaac Davis, from Manhattan

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          20.) Because love is a beautiful, but confusing thing.

          Love-and-Death-Keaton

            “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.” – Sonja, from Love and Death

            21.) Just as life is a confusing thing.

            “16 blue ponies, 21 jetplanes, and 12 spinning midgets.” – Sid Waterman, from Scoop

            22.) As well as being cruel at times.

            “You know not everything in the world is sinister… just practically everything.” – Sid Waterman, from Scoop

            23.) But even in all the cruelness and confusion of this world, there is still hope for all of us.

            “You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No… not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.” – Helen Sinclair, from Bullets over Broadway

            24.) Because even if life doesn’t always give you what you want…

            “That’s what the present is. It’s a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying.” – Gil, from Midnight in Paris

            25.) It almost always gives you what you need

            1375930702_Allen

              “I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.” – Alvy Singer, from Annie Hall

              Featured photo credit: Woody Allen Glasses/alyssa_michele via flickr.com

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              Last Updated on January 18, 2019

              7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

              7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

              Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

              But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

              If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

              1. Limit the time you spend with them.

              First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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              In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

              Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

              2. Speak up for yourself.

              Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

              3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

              This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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              But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

              4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

              Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

              This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

              Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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              5. Change the subject.

              When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

              Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

              6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

              Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

              I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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              You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

              Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

              7. Leave them behind.

              Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

              If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

              That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

              You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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