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15 Things To Talk About In A Healthy Relationship

15 Things To Talk About In A Healthy Relationship

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. However, many people aren’t certain what they should be communicating about. Spend time talking about a variety of topics to grow together as a couple and to prevent your relationship from becoming stale.

1. Your Daily Activities

All of your conversations don’t have to be earth shattering. Spend time talking about your day-to-day activities. Discuss what time you woke up, what you ate for lunch, or what you discussed with a co-worker and help your partner understand what happens when you’re apart.

2. Money

Talk about your budget. Discuss your saving and spending habits. If you combine your finances, set some financial goals and discuss strategies to help you reach those goals.

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3. Places You Want to Explore

Start a conversation about the places you’d like to visit. Whether you want to travel to your grandmother’s house or you want to go on a cruise around the world, a discussion about travel can spark a lot of new conversation.

4. Emotional Growth

Share some information about your emotional growth. If you notice you’ve become wiser, less reactive, or more compassionate, share that with your partner. Point out the emotional growth you see in your partner as well.

5. Individual Goals

It’s healthy to have individual goals. Whether you want to lose weight, learn how to prepare Chinese food, or learn how to line dance, set some goals for yourself and discuss those goals with your partner.

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6. Spiritual Beliefs

Start conversations about your spiritual beliefs. Be willing to listen to your partner’s beliefs and be open to talking about the similarities and differences in your beliefs.

7. What You’re Watching on TV

Although watching TV isn’t an active way to grow together as a couple, discussing what you’re watching can help you learn something new about one another.

8. Politics

You don’t have to agree on politics in order to have a discussion about it. You can learn a lot about your partner if you have a conversation about politics. Any healthy relationship should allow each partner to feel respected enough to share an opinion, even if it opposes the other partner’s opinion.

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9. Goals to Address as a Couple

Discuss the goals you want to reach together as a couple. All healthy relationships should include shared goals for the future. Whether your goal is to volunteer at a homeless shelter together or save enough money for a new car, working together to reach your goal can help you stay close as a couple.

10. Your Past

Your partner doesn’t need to know every skeleton in your closet. However, sharing information about your past can be very helpful. Talk about your childhood, past experiences, or obstacles you’ve overcome. You can also share how much you’ve learned and changed over the years.

11. Your Values

It’s important to share your values with one another. Talk about your priorities in life. It’s important for your partner to know how you feel about work, family, education, friends, and leisure time. Let your partner know what types of things you value the most and what changes you may want to make to ensure that you’re living according to your values.

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12. Your Dreams

Daydreaming together can be a great activity in any healthy relationship. Discuss dreams you had as a child, dreams you’ve let go, and dreams you still hold onto.

13. Your Feelings

Of course, talking about your feelings is an important part of communication. Be willing to share your joys and sorrows with your partner. Also, be willing to talk about what makes you feel angry, when you’re disappointment, and when you feel embarrassed or hurt.

14. Family

Whether you’ve got a close relationship with your family or not, talking about family can be important. It can give your partner an inside look at what type of childhood you had as well as what type of relationship you have with your family members. Discuss how you want your family to be different from your family of origin, as well as which aspects you want to replicate.

15. Your Relationship

Discuss the aspects of your relationship that are working well and make sure to also discuss problematic areas. Talking openly about your relationship can ensure your relationship stays fresh and exciting.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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