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14 Ways To Rekindle The Romance In Your Relationship

14 Ways To Rekindle The Romance In Your Relationship

Love is hard work. It’s fun at first. Nothing else matters but the two of you. Then you live together, and everything changes. What happened to those beautiful moments of looking into each other’s eyes and feeling your spine tingle? Your “happily ever after” isn’t happening.

Your love was once strong. Now there are more bills to pay, crying children, opinionated in-laws, and sleepless nights. As time goes by, you feel that you aren’t important to each other. But that’s not true, it’s just that the stress of life has become your priority, not each other.

Well, I have good news. The connection is still there, but it’s buried under piles of dirty laundry in the corner of the bedroom, dishes in the kitchen sink, and bickering over what the other person just said. Once you clear the clutter from your relationship, you’ll get back to looking at each other with loving eyes again.

If you knew how to be romantic when you were dating, you could do it again. You just have to put in a little extra effort now to fit love into your busy schedules.

If you are willing to fight for the love you once had, treat each other like you did when you were dating. This is how to rekindle those amazing moments you used to share.

1. Schedule a date night

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    You don’t have to go to a five-star restaurant or a movie to have a date night. Date nights can be just as romantic in the comfort of your own bedroom. Turn off the television and shut the devices. Be cute and playful. Text each other during the day, “date night 2nite <3.” Even if you’re tired, make an effort to rekindle your romance.

    2. Talk to each other

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      Gentlemen, there is nothing a woman loves more than a heart to heart conversation. Just talk to her. Ask about her day, her job, and her friends. Be present. Show her that you care. Look at her. Listen to what she says. Believe it or not, a face-to-face conversation can be extremely intimate. Ladies, let him talk too. Let him tell you how terrible his favorite sports team played or how annoying the guy who sits next to him at work was. You’ll be surprised to see how romantic a conversation can be.

      3. Shut out the rest of the world

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        Focus on each other. If you find your mind wandering to the stack of papers on your desk at work, bring your thoughts back to each other. Keep your attention on the person in front of you. Just like during meditation, it’s a mind exercise that might need a little retraining but it will happen.

        4. Attention girls!

        worst-dressed-girls

          Dress up a little. Get out of your sweatpants. Take your hair out of that ponytail. Put on a little blush and lipstick, just like you did when you were dating.

          5. Say only positive comments

          Woman whispering in man's ear

            It’s easy to get on each other’s nerves but if you want to fall in love again, forget your list of negative complaints. Dump the negativity in the trash. It’s a toxic algae that grows in your mind. Starting from the tiniest thought, it grows until it’s so big it’s the only thing you see when you look at the other person. Remember the person you adored? The person you couldn’t live without for even five minutes? The positive traits are still there. You just have to look a little harder now to see them. Give each other compliments.

            6. Negative traits have a positive side

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              Every trait has two sides to it. When you first fell in love, only the positive side was visible. Once you get comfy, the negative side of the trait shows its unattractive side. Train your brain to see the flip side of that trait. If your partner likes everything in order, he might be annoyed if your closet does not look like the one in the Container Store catalog. When that happens, remind yourself that that is the same trait that makes him succeed at work. His organized ways means he has an organized mind. That’s a good thing. At first, it’s a challenge, but if you continue, you can see the positive side of an annoying trait.

              7.  Give and expect nothing in return

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                Purses, jewelry, and flowers are nice, but those can feel insincere sometimes. If you really want to show her you care, give her something that will make her life easier (not a new Vitamix, although that’s not a bad idea). Do something that will please your partner. Give of yourself.

                8. Peace is more important than being right

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                  You don’t have to fight every battle. Most battles are not worth fighting over. And you don’t have to prove you are right every time. Your relationship is more important than your ego.

                  9. Re-evaluate your words

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                    Are you saying, “I love you,” so often that it has lost its meaning? Of course, there is nothing wrong with expressing love often. It is important that your loved one feels that your words are sincere. Express genuine love so that it enters your lover’s heart.

                    10. Be compassionate

                    quote-Dalai-Lama-love-and-compassion-are-necessities-not-luxuries-956

                      Stand in your partner’s place. Try to understand what he or she is feeling. Work is stressful. Life is full of conflict. Having a person on your side, without judgment or criticism is a comforting stress reliever.

                      11. Be on the same team

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                        Relationships are not competitions. You are not against each other; you are there for each other, cheering each other on as teammates. Say the words, “I’m on your side.”

                        12. Put your ego aside

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                          Everything isn’t about you. When it becomes about you, there is no room for anyone else. If you want to be loved, you have to be lovable.

                          13. Dance together

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                            Dancing is romantic. Slow dance in your bedroom or even in the kitchen. Dancing is two people moving in sync. Feel the rhythm you share.

                            14. Laugh together

                            26_05 laughing

                              Lighten up and have some fun. Life is serious. It’s your job to take a break away from the stress. Laughter is the best medicine.

                              Once you schedule the time and put in a little extra effort, you will be able to live, love, and laugh together happily ever after again.

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                              June Silny

                              ADHD Coach, Writer, ADDitude Magazine featured contributor

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                              Last Updated on November 4, 2020

                              15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

                              15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

                              Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

                              Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

                              1. Be willing to work hard.

                              As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

                              2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

                              Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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                              3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

                              Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

                              4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

                              Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

                              5. Always be consistent.

                              A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

                              6. Go and find your happy place.

                              No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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                              7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

                              In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

                              8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

                              The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

                              So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

                              9. Be on hand to help others.

                              Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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                              10. Live in the present moment.

                              A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

                              11. Learn something new.

                              There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

                              Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

                              12. Exercise daily.

                              This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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                              13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

                              I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

                              14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

                              If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

                              15. Get up earlier than normal.

                              This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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                              Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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