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10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

The give and take in relationships can be hard work — it takes effort to create and maintain them, to keep the love going; not because love in itself is fallible, but because, in our modern world, there’s a lot of distractions and constraints placed on us. Chances are that you’ve dated or fallen in love with someone whom you would consider as a genuinely nice person and partner; someone who respects you and makes time for you, and spends time thinking of ways to make you smile or feel better.

Sometimes nice partners do not get the appreciation they deserve, but here are just ten ways that you can start treating your nice partner a little bit better…

1. Slow Down

Your nice partner probably wants to spend time with you — but you’re too busy to do it. The world is getting busier and busier, with the inter-connectivity of being able to — and almost being obliged to — answer any query or demand instantly. It also means that you’re probably too busy answering any email that comes in, or any call or text message for that matter.

Start slowing down and letting things go out a decent, reasonable pace. You get to spend time with your nice partner, rather than rushing around and losing any of that spark that makes you two click, and it becomes more meaningful and important, rather than doing too much and then burning out. The Italians have a phrase, borrowed by Carl Honore, that translates roughly to “doing things at the right speed” — tempo guisto. Slowing down for your loved one might just be the right tempo.

2. Start Making Them Something Meaningful

One of the best ways we show someone we care is by making them something, even if it’s only eggs in the morning, or a little Post-It note with something sweet written on it. Chances are your nice partner has done something like this for you even once, in a big gesture or a little one. Therefore one of the best ways to start treating your nice partner better, is to reciprocate.

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Again, we’re not talking about going over the top with Martha Stewart-esque designs and craft — but even something like a home-cooked meal or their favourite dessert can be more meaningful than anything expensive or ostentatious. The art of making something yourself is absolutely underrated and something that your nice partner will remember and treasure for a long time. Time to bust out the cake ingredients…

3. Stop Disrespecting Their Privacy

Spending time together is key to making any relationship work: you share your hobbies, your pastimes, your downtime, and even find some time to get to know one another’s friends, family, and colleagues outside of the relationship. However, one of the best things you can do to start treating your nice partner better is to give them their privacy.

Maybe you’re not intentionally disrupting their privacy, but let’s face it — even if you’re the most social person on the planet, there are times when you need to unwind and chill out on your own, to gain some breathing space from the rest of the world. Being in a relationship with a nice partner might mean that they sacrifice their privacy so you can spend more time with them. Start allowing them their privacy, and take that time for your own privacy, or to go out and do other things. This way everyone gets a clearer headspace, and everyone benefits from it.

4. If They Cook All the Time, Return the Favor

We’re all guilty of forgetting to treat our nice partners better when it comes to home comforts. We get tired, we get stressed out, and then we get lazy. Our nice partners probably spend more time than necessary making sure we eat well, even preparing home-cooked meals for us after work or when we’re feeling down. While this is certainly a nice and enjoyable part of any relationship, it’s not really fair if they’re the partner always putting in the effort.

One of the simplest and yet most profound and lovely things you can do to a nice partner is give them a nice home-cooked meal. Food does always taste better when a loved one has gone to the effort of cooking a meal for you, and it might be just the thing to treat your partner better.

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You don’t have to be a high-class chef to do it either — there are more recipes available now than ever in the world, so there’s a veritable cornucopia of choice to be had. Do your research, make the evening special with some candles or music that they like, and just sit, eat, and enjoy one another’s company. Bon appetit.

5. Make It About Them

All relationships vary to the flow and ebb of give and take. Sometimes it’s about you, sometimes it’s about your partner; and while we’re certainly not suggesting that you’re selfish in any way, if you have a nice partner, chances are they put your needs ahead of their own, including what to do with date nights.

One of the best ways to indulge and respect your nice partner is to make a date night and give them control for once. Let them decide where you go that evening, whether it’s to the movies, to a bowling alley, to an art gallery, or to a restaurant. It’s nice to feel wanted, and letting them know that you trust them enough to give them complete control for an evening, can be an exhilarating and wonderful way of helping your nice partner realise how much you love and appreciate them.

6. Avoid Snapping At Them

Everyone has a breaking point, whether it’s a bad day at the office or a growing mass of small niggling insults and injuries that snowball into a furious outburst at any available nearby target. Often, your nice partner. Chances are they’re used to you complaining to them about work or traffic or anything of the sort, but when your outbursts turn onto them and you start snapping at them, it’s time to take charge of your own behaviour.

Your nice partner probably has a stronger way of internalising their own anger, or an easier way of expressing it and releasing it, so it’s far from fair to let them bear the brunt of your own temper tantrums. Start looking at how your anger outbursts are affecting your partner. Go to a class or view some materials to see how you might better control and manage them, so that you and your nice partner might have a better relationship, and so that you can treat your partner better.

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7. Support Their Dreams

Okay, so everyone has dreams. Everyone is allowed to have dreams. The problem is that during the course of a relationship, we can sometimes found ourselves bogged down in the little details and the day-to-day running of a relationship to really focus on what is important. Chances are your partner supports your dreams, one way or another, and you feel secure and motivated by that. However, it’s entirely possible that you don’t do the same — maybe because you don’t have the energy or effort, or maybe because deep down you think those dreams might not amount to much.

So, if you want to start treating your nice partner a little better, make sure you support their dreams. That doesn’t mean let them go wild and crazy, such as spending your joint 401k on a motorcycle or on a risky business investment. It means being that guiding force that helps them stay grounded and optimistic about their dreams. They want to open a restaurant? Look into how other people start such businesses while you both still work. Support their dreams and soon you’ll both be reaping the benefits.

8. Stop Letting Them Take All The Responsibilities

Having a nice partner means that a lot of the time, they’re busy running around doing more than their fair share of the little things that help make a life work. Laundry, picking the kids up, cooking… you know how it goes. However, they’re probably running the entire house on their own, because they want to make life easier for you — which, incidentally, is putting more of a strain of their energy.

Therefore, one of the greatest things you can do in order to treat your nice partner better, is to make sure there’s an equal division of efforts. For example, simply making sure that you’re doing the laundry that week, rather than your partner, is a great way of allowing them to relax more and worry less, which makes everyone happier.

9. Start Treating Them Well And Often

A nice partner will treat often and for no reason — flowers just because they felt like it, a massage because you’re tired and aching, a night of nothing but your favourite shows with no arguing or debating. This is the sort of good-natured thing that makes them a nice partner — and it’s something worth repaying back to them in order to appropriately and properly treat your nice partner right and well.

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Buy them little meaningful gifts and gestures that will make them happy, and devote time to spending it with them. Your nice partner probably spends a lot of time thinking about you and how to make things good for you — now is the time to reciprocate those gestures in a unique, meaningful, and wonderful way, whether it’s roses at breakfast or a moonlight tango in your backyard.

10. Tell Them You Love Them More Often

Love, eh? The most powerful force in the universe — at least according to the vast majority of cinema, literature, and for many people, their own human experience. The love goes on between the people in a relationship is often unsaid, but rather felt; a physical presence that transforms people and changes their entire way of perception and being.

Having a nice partner will most likely mean that they tell you they love you a lot — they say with careless abandon and heartfelt sweetness, to bookend the day or as little asides. However, it doesn’t necessarily reciprocate with the other partner — sometimes they assume that the love is presumed. That it doesn’t need saying.

It does. The best way to start treating your nice partner better is by telling them that you love them, a lot more than you do now. It doesn’t mean bombarding them with saccharine odes; it means saying it when you’re bursting to say it, or when you just want them to know how much they actually mean to you. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner will imbue them with happiness, and make you much happier in return. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner, doesn’t cost a thing, and is absolutely priceless.

More by this author

Chris Haigh

Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

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Last Updated on February 20, 2019

How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

Possessing effective communication skills is a powerful tool to have. Effective communication skills are essential to success in many aspects and areas of your life. There are a lot of jobs that require you to be a good communicator.

Strong communication skills help you enjoy better relationships with friends and family. Being an effective communicator will give you advantages in more ways than you can imagine.

Conversely, being poor at communicating will negatively impact your life.

Let’s take a look at how to master effective communication skills at work and home.

What is Effective Communication?

Probably a good place to start is to paint a picture of what clear communication is.

Effective communication is defined as verbal speech or other communication methods to get your point across. Sounds pretty simple, right? It does but there’s more to it than that.

It’s really about how all of us interact and communicate in every aspect of our lives. It’s the ability to say something at the right time; to be able to get multiple people on the same page in a group decision. It’s how that one friend of yours who plans most of the activities is able to get everyone to the same place at the same time.

Non-verbal communication is key to being effective as well. It’s the ability to have your body language say the right thing so the person you’re speaking to knows your listening.

Effective communicators don’t react to situations with high emotion. It means not having to say something all the time in every situation. You are even being an effective communicator when you show up to pick your daughter up from the mall when you say you will. You are communicating to her that she can rely on you.

Are You a Poor Communicator?

Before we get too deep into how to be a master communicator, let’s take a look at your communication skills.

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If you find yourself agreeing with a lot of these, you might want to sharpen your communication skills.

  • You’re constantly interrupting – Hey, I know, we all want to be listened to. We all want to get our point across. Most importantly, we want to be understood. If you find yourself interrupting all the time you aren’t listening enough.
  • Doing too much – Many of us are master multi-taskers. It’s not good if you are communicating with someone. When you try to do too much while speaking with someone, you aren’t paying attention to what they are saying. Lack of focus is bad.
  • Rambling – I know of several people I work with who do this constantly. I honestly dread having to speak to them. The worst part is even though a lot of words are coming out of their mouths, they really aren’t saying anything. I’m more confused after they answer my question.
  • Not being direct – Nothing wrong with emails or reports. However, if you can convey the same information quickly and directly to someone, it is much more effective. Why write a 2 paragraph email when you can pick up the phone and say the same information in 2 sentences?
  • Always talking about yourself – Everybody likes to relate things to their own experiences. It draws us together and helps us create a feeling of sharing and community. If you are always coloring someone else’s conversation with a similar situation in your life, people will think you are making everything about you. Don’t be that person!
  • Using a lot of qualifiers – Qualifiers are fine for the most part. When you use them as a crutch most of the time when you speak, it’s not helping your communication. Sometimes, we do this to makes things seem “softer”. Saying things like “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but…” or “I know what you’re thinking but…” over and over doesn’t help you communicate.
  • Your ears don’t work – If you don’t listen well, you can’t answer someone correctly. In order to be an effective communicator, you have to understand what someone else is saying to you. If you don’t listen with purpose you will only have part of the picture.
  • Bad body language – The importance of body language is well documented. If you don’t look at someone when they are speaking, it appears that you don’t really care what’s being said. This makes people feel like you don’t care what they are saying and it’s not important to you. Other bad body language examples include always crossing your arms and not looking someone in the eyes.

What Effective Communication Can Do For You

Let’s take a look at how being able to effectively communicate can help you at work and in your personal relationships.

Work

  • Better client relationships – You certainly want a great communicator to be handling your client relationships. Strong communicators represent both the client and your company is the best manner.
  • Higher employee engagement – Pretty critical if you are a leader or a manager of people. An engaging and interactive communicator in a leadership position is wonderful for employees.
  • Getting better buy in from others – This is great whether you are a manager or individual contributor. Strong communicators tend to get people moving and working towards a common goal.
  • Helps mitigate conflict – Good communicators are able to help resolve conflicts quicker and easier. This helps smooth things over and keeps projects and initiatives moving forward.
  • Builds trust – You want to be able to trust who you work for and with. Effective communicators are good at establishing and building trust between people and groups.
  • Solves problems – Problems are solved by people with the ability to communicate clearly between groups and people. Those without good communication skills many times add to the confusion of a problem because they are unable to articulate their thoughts and ideas.

Personal relationships

  • Creates closeness – A good communicator is able to help foster a feeling of closeness with his or her partner.
  • Makes conflict okay – It’s actually better to fight with your partner from time to time instead of never fighting. We all have differences of opinion and points of view. When we don’t express these and bury it inside by not communicating, it just comes out later in a more negative form.
  • Provides support – It’s nice to know that someone cares about you and supports you. A strong communicator will ask how you’re doing and be a good sounding board for what you’re going through.
  • Expressing feelings – People who are not effective communicators tend to be not very good at expressing how they feel. This makes it tough to share your feelings with you partner.
  • Get the loving you want – In order to get the physical, mental, and emotional love you want and need, you have to be able to communicate clearly and appropriately with your spouse or partner. This is done through effective communication.
  • Eliminate mistrust, doubt, faithlessness, and insecurities – Many times these seeds are sown due to a lack of communication. If your partner rarely tells you where he or she is going, you will tend to start coming up with your own ideas. Often these aren’t true but how would you know if you aren’t told?

Can You Improve Your Communication Skills?

The short answer is yes, of course you can improve your communication skills.

Improving or changing anything in your life takes some work and effort but it can be done. You have to keep in mind your starting point and your goal.

If you are not a very good communicator now and you want to be able to give a motivating speech to a large graduating class, you’d better get working.

On the other hand, if you get along fairly well in general but want to be able to improve your relationship with your boss or spouse by being able to master effective communication, you may just need some guidance and practice.

Either way, if you want to master effective communication skills at both work and home, it will take a little work and effort. Doing so will benefit you in many ways.

How to Master Effective Communication Skills

In general mastering effective communication skills will help you at both work and home. Let’s look at how to improve verbal, written, and body language communication skills. These will help you create better relationships everywhere you go!

1. Learn how to listen

Speaking is only half of the communication equation. Sharpen your listening skills so you are able to process what the other person is saying. You can then respond it a well-informed manner.

Check out these active listening guidelines to be a better listener.

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2. Make eye contact

Having regular eye contact with someone while you are having a conversation shows you care what they are saying. When you are looking at the floor or out the window it gives the impression that you aren’t paying attention.

Take a look at this advice on how to make engaging eye contact.

3. Ask questions

When you ask someone questions, you are able to clarify what they are saying to ensure you get the whole picture. If you don’t understand it fully, ask questions.

Do you know that it takes some skills to ask questions too? Here’s how to be good at asking questions.

4. Watch body language

Watch both yours and the other persons.

We all know if you have a conversation with your arms crossed the entire time, it gives off a bad vibe. Have open, engaging body language when speaking with someone.

On the flip side, if you see someone’s eyes glazing over while speaking to you, it’s probably a good idea to wrap it up.

Take a look at these top 20 body language indicators to learn more.

5. Speak confidently

Sometimes this is easier said than done. If you communicate in an open, direct, and clear manner, it subtly shows people that you are confident in what you are saying.

It doesn’t mean you always have to be right but delivering your thoughts with confidence helps your case.

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These tips will help you speak more confidently.

6. Keep it simple

You don’t always have to be succinct in your communication. There is a lot of value in being able to tell a great story.

That being said, there are many instances where keeping it simple is very helpful. This is especially true at work in both verbal conversations as well as written like emails.

7. Know your audience

You should have a certain style when communicating with your boss. Another style of communication is better with your spouse and probably others with your kids or friends.

Know your audience to help you communicate the most effectively.

8. Be empathetic and understanding

There is a massive amount of power in being empathetic. And I mean that in a very positive way.

Showing that you are empathetic and understanding to another person goes a long way to creating a great bond with that person. We all want to be understood. It’s that simple.

Think it’s a challenge for you? These 5 tips for empathetic listening will help you.

9. Pause before reacting

There have been a number of times when I’ve read an email that just came in and had an instant reaction to reading it. And I don’t mean a positive reaction. My less effective ways of dealing and communicating has been to send a scathing email back.

When I’ve communicated more appropriately, I’ve waited a while before I responded. This is true in verbal situations as well.

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10. Over communicate

You’d think if you tell someone something that should be the end of it, right? Done deal. Not so fast.

I’m not recommending you tell someone the same thing 10 times in a row. With as many distractions as we all have these days, it’s generally a good idea to follow up on something you’ve communicated a few times if it’s important.

Conclusion

Having effective communication skills at both work and home will help you immensely.

At work, it helps you in your career in many ways.

Communicating well with your boss leads to a solid, symbiotic working relationship. You’re able to clearly articulate what you need to do your job well. You can share your vision and strategy with your boss and others. Good communicators are needed in management roles and leading others. Fostering an environment of effective communication leads to a great work environment.

At home, having effective communication skills will help you achieve the type of relationship you want with your spouse.

You are able to speak freely and openly about your feelings. You can share your wants and needs in a manner that your spouse understands. Your spouse will feel understood and supported by you which is a wonderful feeling to have. And being able to have a disagreement and work through it due to strong communication skills is amazing.

Look at how you can master effective communication skills at work and home to help create more satisfying relationships in all phases of your life.

More Resources About Work Communication

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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