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10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

The give and take in relationships can be hard work — it takes effort to create and maintain them, to keep the love going; not because love in itself is fallible, but because, in our modern world, there’s a lot of distractions and constraints placed on us. Chances are that you’ve dated or fallen in love with someone whom you would consider as a genuinely nice person and partner; someone who respects you and makes time for you, and spends time thinking of ways to make you smile or feel better.

Sometimes nice partners do not get the appreciation they deserve, but here are just ten ways that you can start treating your nice partner a little bit better…

1. Slow Down

Your nice partner probably wants to spend time with you — but you’re too busy to do it. The world is getting busier and busier, with the inter-connectivity of being able to — and almost being obliged to — answer any query or demand instantly. It also means that you’re probably too busy answering any email that comes in, or any call or text message for that matter.

Start slowing down and letting things go out a decent, reasonable pace. You get to spend time with your nice partner, rather than rushing around and losing any of that spark that makes you two click, and it becomes more meaningful and important, rather than doing too much and then burning out. The Italians have a phrase, borrowed by Carl Honore, that translates roughly to “doing things at the right speed” — tempo guisto. Slowing down for your loved one might just be the right tempo.

2. Start Making Them Something Meaningful

One of the best ways we show someone we care is by making them something, even if it’s only eggs in the morning, or a little Post-It note with something sweet written on it. Chances are your nice partner has done something like this for you even once, in a big gesture or a little one. Therefore one of the best ways to start treating your nice partner better, is to reciprocate.

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Again, we’re not talking about going over the top with Martha Stewart-esque designs and craft — but even something like a home-cooked meal or their favourite dessert can be more meaningful than anything expensive or ostentatious. The art of making something yourself is absolutely underrated and something that your nice partner will remember and treasure for a long time. Time to bust out the cake ingredients…

3. Stop Disrespecting Their Privacy

Spending time together is key to making any relationship work: you share your hobbies, your pastimes, your downtime, and even find some time to get to know one another’s friends, family, and colleagues outside of the relationship. However, one of the best things you can do to start treating your nice partner better is to give them their privacy.

Maybe you’re not intentionally disrupting their privacy, but let’s face it — even if you’re the most social person on the planet, there are times when you need to unwind and chill out on your own, to gain some breathing space from the rest of the world. Being in a relationship with a nice partner might mean that they sacrifice their privacy so you can spend more time with them. Start allowing them their privacy, and take that time for your own privacy, or to go out and do other things. This way everyone gets a clearer headspace, and everyone benefits from it.

4. If They Cook All the Time, Return the Favor

We’re all guilty of forgetting to treat our nice partners better when it comes to home comforts. We get tired, we get stressed out, and then we get lazy. Our nice partners probably spend more time than necessary making sure we eat well, even preparing home-cooked meals for us after work or when we’re feeling down. While this is certainly a nice and enjoyable part of any relationship, it’s not really fair if they’re the partner always putting in the effort.

One of the simplest and yet most profound and lovely things you can do to a nice partner is give them a nice home-cooked meal. Food does always taste better when a loved one has gone to the effort of cooking a meal for you, and it might be just the thing to treat your partner better.

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You don’t have to be a high-class chef to do it either — there are more recipes available now than ever in the world, so there’s a veritable cornucopia of choice to be had. Do your research, make the evening special with some candles or music that they like, and just sit, eat, and enjoy one another’s company. Bon appetit.

5. Make It About Them

All relationships vary to the flow and ebb of give and take. Sometimes it’s about you, sometimes it’s about your partner; and while we’re certainly not suggesting that you’re selfish in any way, if you have a nice partner, chances are they put your needs ahead of their own, including what to do with date nights.

One of the best ways to indulge and respect your nice partner is to make a date night and give them control for once. Let them decide where you go that evening, whether it’s to the movies, to a bowling alley, to an art gallery, or to a restaurant. It’s nice to feel wanted, and letting them know that you trust them enough to give them complete control for an evening, can be an exhilarating and wonderful way of helping your nice partner realise how much you love and appreciate them.

6. Avoid Snapping At Them

Everyone has a breaking point, whether it’s a bad day at the office or a growing mass of small niggling insults and injuries that snowball into a furious outburst at any available nearby target. Often, your nice partner. Chances are they’re used to you complaining to them about work or traffic or anything of the sort, but when your outbursts turn onto them and you start snapping at them, it’s time to take charge of your own behaviour.

Your nice partner probably has a stronger way of internalising their own anger, or an easier way of expressing it and releasing it, so it’s far from fair to let them bear the brunt of your own temper tantrums. Start looking at how your anger outbursts are affecting your partner. Go to a class or view some materials to see how you might better control and manage them, so that you and your nice partner might have a better relationship, and so that you can treat your partner better.

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7. Support Their Dreams

Okay, so everyone has dreams. Everyone is allowed to have dreams. The problem is that during the course of a relationship, we can sometimes found ourselves bogged down in the little details and the day-to-day running of a relationship to really focus on what is important. Chances are your partner supports your dreams, one way or another, and you feel secure and motivated by that. However, it’s entirely possible that you don’t do the same — maybe because you don’t have the energy or effort, or maybe because deep down you think those dreams might not amount to much.

So, if you want to start treating your nice partner a little better, make sure you support their dreams. That doesn’t mean let them go wild and crazy, such as spending your joint 401k on a motorcycle or on a risky business investment. It means being that guiding force that helps them stay grounded and optimistic about their dreams. They want to open a restaurant? Look into how other people start such businesses while you both still work. Support their dreams and soon you’ll both be reaping the benefits.

8. Stop Letting Them Take All The Responsibilities

Having a nice partner means that a lot of the time, they’re busy running around doing more than their fair share of the little things that help make a life work. Laundry, picking the kids up, cooking… you know how it goes. However, they’re probably running the entire house on their own, because they want to make life easier for you — which, incidentally, is putting more of a strain of their energy.

Therefore, one of the greatest things you can do in order to treat your nice partner better, is to make sure there’s an equal division of efforts. For example, simply making sure that you’re doing the laundry that week, rather than your partner, is a great way of allowing them to relax more and worry less, which makes everyone happier.

9. Start Treating Them Well And Often

A nice partner will treat often and for no reason — flowers just because they felt like it, a massage because you’re tired and aching, a night of nothing but your favourite shows with no arguing or debating. This is the sort of good-natured thing that makes them a nice partner — and it’s something worth repaying back to them in order to appropriately and properly treat your nice partner right and well.

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Buy them little meaningful gifts and gestures that will make them happy, and devote time to spending it with them. Your nice partner probably spends a lot of time thinking about you and how to make things good for you — now is the time to reciprocate those gestures in a unique, meaningful, and wonderful way, whether it’s roses at breakfast or a moonlight tango in your backyard.

10. Tell Them You Love Them More Often

Love, eh? The most powerful force in the universe — at least according to the vast majority of cinema, literature, and for many people, their own human experience. The love goes on between the people in a relationship is often unsaid, but rather felt; a physical presence that transforms people and changes their entire way of perception and being.

Having a nice partner will most likely mean that they tell you they love you a lot — they say with careless abandon and heartfelt sweetness, to bookend the day or as little asides. However, it doesn’t necessarily reciprocate with the other partner — sometimes they assume that the love is presumed. That it doesn’t need saying.

It does. The best way to start treating your nice partner better is by telling them that you love them, a lot more than you do now. It doesn’t mean bombarding them with saccharine odes; it means saying it when you’re bursting to say it, or when you just want them to know how much they actually mean to you. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner will imbue them with happiness, and make you much happier in return. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner, doesn’t cost a thing, and is absolutely priceless.

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Chris Haigh

Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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