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10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

10 Ways to Treat Your Nice Partner Better

The give and take in relationships can be hard work — it takes effort to create and maintain them, to keep the love going; not because love in itself is fallible, but because, in our modern world, there’s a lot of distractions and constraints placed on us. Chances are that you’ve dated or fallen in love with someone whom you would consider as a genuinely nice person and partner; someone who respects you and makes time for you, and spends time thinking of ways to make you smile or feel better.

Sometimes nice partners do not get the appreciation they deserve, but here are just ten ways that you can start treating your nice partner a little bit better…

1. Slow Down

Your nice partner probably wants to spend time with you — but you’re too busy to do it. The world is getting busier and busier, with the inter-connectivity of being able to — and almost being obliged to — answer any query or demand instantly. It also means that you’re probably too busy answering any email that comes in, or any call or text message for that matter.

Start slowing down and letting things go out a decent, reasonable pace. You get to spend time with your nice partner, rather than rushing around and losing any of that spark that makes you two click, and it becomes more meaningful and important, rather than doing too much and then burning out. The Italians have a phrase, borrowed by Carl Honore, that translates roughly to “doing things at the right speed” — tempo guisto. Slowing down for your loved one might just be the right tempo.

2. Start Making Them Something Meaningful

One of the best ways we show someone we care is by making them something, even if it’s only eggs in the morning, or a little Post-It note with something sweet written on it. Chances are your nice partner has done something like this for you even once, in a big gesture or a little one. Therefore one of the best ways to start treating your nice partner better, is to reciprocate.

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Again, we’re not talking about going over the top with Martha Stewart-esque designs and craft — but even something like a home-cooked meal or their favourite dessert can be more meaningful than anything expensive or ostentatious. The art of making something yourself is absolutely underrated and something that your nice partner will remember and treasure for a long time. Time to bust out the cake ingredients…

3. Stop Disrespecting Their Privacy

Spending time together is key to making any relationship work: you share your hobbies, your pastimes, your downtime, and even find some time to get to know one another’s friends, family, and colleagues outside of the relationship. However, one of the best things you can do to start treating your nice partner better is to give them their privacy.

Maybe you’re not intentionally disrupting their privacy, but let’s face it — even if you’re the most social person on the planet, there are times when you need to unwind and chill out on your own, to gain some breathing space from the rest of the world. Being in a relationship with a nice partner might mean that they sacrifice their privacy so you can spend more time with them. Start allowing them their privacy, and take that time for your own privacy, or to go out and do other things. This way everyone gets a clearer headspace, and everyone benefits from it.

4. If They Cook All the Time, Return the Favor

We’re all guilty of forgetting to treat our nice partners better when it comes to home comforts. We get tired, we get stressed out, and then we get lazy. Our nice partners probably spend more time than necessary making sure we eat well, even preparing home-cooked meals for us after work or when we’re feeling down. While this is certainly a nice and enjoyable part of any relationship, it’s not really fair if they’re the partner always putting in the effort.

One of the simplest and yet most profound and lovely things you can do to a nice partner is give them a nice home-cooked meal. Food does always taste better when a loved one has gone to the effort of cooking a meal for you, and it might be just the thing to treat your partner better.

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You don’t have to be a high-class chef to do it either — there are more recipes available now than ever in the world, so there’s a veritable cornucopia of choice to be had. Do your research, make the evening special with some candles or music that they like, and just sit, eat, and enjoy one another’s company. Bon appetit.

5. Make It About Them

All relationships vary to the flow and ebb of give and take. Sometimes it’s about you, sometimes it’s about your partner; and while we’re certainly not suggesting that you’re selfish in any way, if you have a nice partner, chances are they put your needs ahead of their own, including what to do with date nights.

One of the best ways to indulge and respect your nice partner is to make a date night and give them control for once. Let them decide where you go that evening, whether it’s to the movies, to a bowling alley, to an art gallery, or to a restaurant. It’s nice to feel wanted, and letting them know that you trust them enough to give them complete control for an evening, can be an exhilarating and wonderful way of helping your nice partner realise how much you love and appreciate them.

6. Avoid Snapping At Them

Everyone has a breaking point, whether it’s a bad day at the office or a growing mass of small niggling insults and injuries that snowball into a furious outburst at any available nearby target. Often, your nice partner. Chances are they’re used to you complaining to them about work or traffic or anything of the sort, but when your outbursts turn onto them and you start snapping at them, it’s time to take charge of your own behaviour.

Your nice partner probably has a stronger way of internalising their own anger, or an easier way of expressing it and releasing it, so it’s far from fair to let them bear the brunt of your own temper tantrums. Start looking at how your anger outbursts are affecting your partner. Go to a class or view some materials to see how you might better control and manage them, so that you and your nice partner might have a better relationship, and so that you can treat your partner better.

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7. Support Their Dreams

Okay, so everyone has dreams. Everyone is allowed to have dreams. The problem is that during the course of a relationship, we can sometimes found ourselves bogged down in the little details and the day-to-day running of a relationship to really focus on what is important. Chances are your partner supports your dreams, one way or another, and you feel secure and motivated by that. However, it’s entirely possible that you don’t do the same — maybe because you don’t have the energy or effort, or maybe because deep down you think those dreams might not amount to much.

So, if you want to start treating your nice partner a little better, make sure you support their dreams. That doesn’t mean let them go wild and crazy, such as spending your joint 401k on a motorcycle or on a risky business investment. It means being that guiding force that helps them stay grounded and optimistic about their dreams. They want to open a restaurant? Look into how other people start such businesses while you both still work. Support their dreams and soon you’ll both be reaping the benefits.

8. Stop Letting Them Take All The Responsibilities

Having a nice partner means that a lot of the time, they’re busy running around doing more than their fair share of the little things that help make a life work. Laundry, picking the kids up, cooking… you know how it goes. However, they’re probably running the entire house on their own, because they want to make life easier for you — which, incidentally, is putting more of a strain of their energy.

Therefore, one of the greatest things you can do in order to treat your nice partner better, is to make sure there’s an equal division of efforts. For example, simply making sure that you’re doing the laundry that week, rather than your partner, is a great way of allowing them to relax more and worry less, which makes everyone happier.

9. Start Treating Them Well And Often

A nice partner will treat often and for no reason — flowers just because they felt like it, a massage because you’re tired and aching, a night of nothing but your favourite shows with no arguing or debating. This is the sort of good-natured thing that makes them a nice partner — and it’s something worth repaying back to them in order to appropriately and properly treat your nice partner right and well.

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Buy them little meaningful gifts and gestures that will make them happy, and devote time to spending it with them. Your nice partner probably spends a lot of time thinking about you and how to make things good for you — now is the time to reciprocate those gestures in a unique, meaningful, and wonderful way, whether it’s roses at breakfast or a moonlight tango in your backyard.

10. Tell Them You Love Them More Often

Love, eh? The most powerful force in the universe — at least according to the vast majority of cinema, literature, and for many people, their own human experience. The love goes on between the people in a relationship is often unsaid, but rather felt; a physical presence that transforms people and changes their entire way of perception and being.

Having a nice partner will most likely mean that they tell you they love you a lot — they say with careless abandon and heartfelt sweetness, to bookend the day or as little asides. However, it doesn’t necessarily reciprocate with the other partner — sometimes they assume that the love is presumed. That it doesn’t need saying.

It does. The best way to start treating your nice partner better is by telling them that you love them, a lot more than you do now. It doesn’t mean bombarding them with saccharine odes; it means saying it when you’re bursting to say it, or when you just want them to know how much they actually mean to you. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner will imbue them with happiness, and make you much happier in return. Saying ‘I love you’ to your nice partner, doesn’t cost a thing, and is absolutely priceless.

More by this author

Chris Haigh

Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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