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10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love

10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love

You long for true love.  You have dreamed about finding it forever.

But every time you think you have grasped it, it slips through your fingers. Or it breaks them, along with your heart.

You ask, as we all do, “What am I doing wrong?”

Let me share 10 vital, love-changing secrets that will lead you to over the moon, incredible, never ending romance.  I know because I have found it…and it’s my second time around.

Warning:  If you treat someone like this, they will never leave you, so be sure this person is the one you want.

One more very crucial thing: the key here is to merge the words “true love” with “courage“.

TRUE love is not for the fainthearted. It is to be approached as if you were embarking on the greatest adventure of your life.

1.  True love thrives on the courage to be yourself

Imagine being at peace with who you are.

Imagine enjoying what is strong about you and focusing on growing within that instead of working hard to hide your weaknesses, afraid that someone might leave you because of them.

I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror because I had this loathing inside for who I was. So much energy was spent on trying to be who others wanted me to be.

Exhausted from all the pain and fear resulting from that perspective, I decided to simply become myself.

I began to live in gratitude turned upward for how I had been uniquely made.  Consequently, I found confidence growing from the very center of my being.

It’s from that center that I now love.

2.  True love thrives on the courage to respect yourself by finding your voice

When you like yourself, you become your own champion.

Imagine standing up to protect your heart being natural to you.

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Imagine discomfort triggering you to step up and say what it is you are feeling or fearing.

When you become yourself, this is how you will learn to be.

You will recognize someone who has the potential to love you as you need to be loved.  On the flipside, you will also recognize when someone is not able to be that one.

From that same confident, strong center I found, you, too, will become the lover rather than the one demanding to be loved.

3.  True Love thrives on the courage to make it all about the one you love

The most successful relationships I know are those where both partners as strong enough individually to put themselves aside and see life through the eyes of that special someone in their life.

Imagine being able to hold wise boundaries and have your fears about being “walked on” left far behind you.

Imagine choosing to make it your aim to create an atmosphere of safety where both of you can rest, grow and thrive.

Great fulfillment comes in seeing your sweetheart relax and respond to you with a contented smile.

True love is about your partner being able to grow and equip themselves to handle whatever life brings because they know that someone (i.e. you) has their back.

4.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for certainty.

Imagine a place where you can be completely yourself.

Imagine never being judged or criticized.

Imagine having the freedom to choose what is best for you in the moment and that being received with acceptance.

Imagine feeling protected and cared for and having there for you whatever it is you need to feel secure.

This is describing the need for “safety”. Certainty. Your partner desires that deeply.

Do you know then well enough to build a safe space designed around their particular preferences?

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5.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for adventure

Imagine “adventure”. Thrills, fun, edge of your seat suspense, surprise just when you need it.

Imagine the unexpected challenges arising in your life and being able to think through and plan a strategy alongside someone you trust and respect.

Look through the eyes of the one you love for a moment. Do you know what makes them laugh or what kind of surprises they love?

Do you understand what they anticipate or look forward to doing?

What would draw out their deep gratitude?

How do they wish you would respond when life gets tough and you are both caught off-guard?

6.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for significance

Imagine having all of the cherishing your heart could hold.

Imagine the tranquility of never having to worry about losing the love surrounding you.

Imagine being completely accepted.

Imagine having someone look at you in a way that tells you they believe in you.

Imagine making a mistake and being told that it’s ok, that you are learning and that you should be patient with yourself.

Your heart yearns for this. So does the heart of the one you love, though they may never voice that.

Do you know what makes them afraid that they are not enough?

Do you understand how lonely they feel inside and what might make their heart open like a flower to the sun?

7.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need to be loved unconditionally

Imagine someone totally committed to doing everything within their power to love you in the way you define love.

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Imagine someone seeing you are cold and bringing you a sweater even before you ask.

Imagine someone sensing how tired you are and sending you for a rest while they take care of what you normally take care of.

Imagine the words, “I forgive you. I understand. Nothing will ever change my love for you. It grows stronger every day.”

Imagine someone putting aside their own excitement of the day in order to bring you comfort when they see you may be struggling.

True love is stepping up and loving someone else in such a way that it becomes more and more “unconditional”.

Their comfort, their care, their needs put more and more ahead of your own.

8.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for connection

How much we all long to be connected.  Thus we have communities, sports teams, clubs and groups of every kind. It’s healthy to be a part of what interests us outside of our relationships but how often do we begin to prefer to spend time there because the bond between us and our loved one is broken.

Imagine having that sense of “belonging” fulfilled in every way possible within your relationship so that when friends or extended family disappoint you, you weather it together.

Imagine being able to talk about anything and everything revealing all of your thoughts and dreams and ideas freely.

Imagine being heard – really heard – and your opinions being appreciated and acknowledged.

Imagine being held just when you need it the most in the way you need it.

That man or woman in your life aches for this as much as you do. Open your heart and search for as many ways to connect with them as possible. Learn to listen and to enjoy some of the activities that they enjoy.

9.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for growth

If you are not growing, you die – even while you are still living. We experience this consistently in nature all around us. Trees and grass and children exemplify this truth.

Imagine someone knowing your dreams, your aspirations, your future plans and goals.

Imagine that the greatest pleasure in someone’s life is celebrating your milestones right alongside of you because they are proud of you and were there for you every step of the long climb it took to get there.

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Put yourself in the shoes of the one you have committed your life to.

What are her dreams?  What are his?

Have you had a long look recently into their eyes in order to reach the bottom of their heart?  Or do you take for granted that you know all there is to know?

What do they want, really want, from life?

What is within your power to help them get there?

10.  True love is the courage to meet your lover’s need to make a difference

When life is cruel to you and breaks your heart, you tend to withdraw from the world in order to protect yourself from more pain.  Often it is said that out of your greatest pain comes your greatest mission.

You are not random. You were made with care and innate skills to let life prepare you to help someone else.

Imagine what it would feel like to give in a way that made a difference to someone.

Imagine an overwhelming sense of fulfillment because you have given yourself permission to do what you love and help someone else in the process. I am using my love to write to help others learn how to love right now.

Imagine having a partner who knows you so well that he or she opens your eyes to a new understanding of the gifts you’ve been given.

Part of your purpose in life is to assist your partner in finding his or her own way of unconditionally giving love to the world around them.  You are the one who can observe their strengths in ways that no one else can.

 

Do you want to find true love?  Then it’s vital that you take these truths to heart and find your courage to become all you can be in order to help someone else become all they can be.

Remember, “The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and to be loved in return”.

Do you have some other vital things to share about learning to love?

Featured photo credit: Image credit: kiuikson / 123RF Stock Photo via submit.123rf.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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