Advertising
Advertising

10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love

10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love

You long for true love.  You have dreamed about finding it forever.

But every time you think you have grasped it, it slips through your fingers. Or it breaks them, along with your heart.

You ask, as we all do, “What am I doing wrong?”

Let me share 10 vital, love-changing secrets that will lead you to over the moon, incredible, never ending romance.  I know because I have found it…and it’s my second time around.

Warning:  If you treat someone like this, they will never leave you, so be sure this person is the one you want.

One more very crucial thing: the key here is to merge the words “true love” with “courage“.

TRUE love is not for the fainthearted. It is to be approached as if you were embarking on the greatest adventure of your life.

1.  True love thrives on the courage to be yourself

Imagine being at peace with who you are.

Imagine enjoying what is strong about you and focusing on growing within that instead of working hard to hide your weaknesses, afraid that someone might leave you because of them.

I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror because I had this loathing inside for who I was. So much energy was spent on trying to be who others wanted me to be.

Exhausted from all the pain and fear resulting from that perspective, I decided to simply become myself.

I began to live in gratitude turned upward for how I had been uniquely made.  Consequently, I found confidence growing from the very center of my being.

It’s from that center that I now love.

2.  True love thrives on the courage to respect yourself by finding your voice

When you like yourself, you become your own champion.

Imagine standing up to protect your heart being natural to you.

Advertising

Imagine discomfort triggering you to step up and say what it is you are feeling or fearing.

When you become yourself, this is how you will learn to be.

You will recognize someone who has the potential to love you as you need to be loved.  On the flipside, you will also recognize when someone is not able to be that one.

From that same confident, strong center I found, you, too, will become the lover rather than the one demanding to be loved.

3.  True Love thrives on the courage to make it all about the one you love

The most successful relationships I know are those where both partners as strong enough individually to put themselves aside and see life through the eyes of that special someone in their life.

Imagine being able to hold wise boundaries and have your fears about being “walked on” left far behind you.

Imagine choosing to make it your aim to create an atmosphere of safety where both of you can rest, grow and thrive.

Great fulfillment comes in seeing your sweetheart relax and respond to you with a contented smile.

True love is about your partner being able to grow and equip themselves to handle whatever life brings because they know that someone (i.e. you) has their back.

4.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for certainty.

Imagine a place where you can be completely yourself.

Imagine never being judged or criticized.

Imagine having the freedom to choose what is best for you in the moment and that being received with acceptance.

Imagine feeling protected and cared for and having there for you whatever it is you need to feel secure.

This is describing the need for “safety”. Certainty. Your partner desires that deeply.

Do you know then well enough to build a safe space designed around their particular preferences?

Advertising

5.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for adventure

Imagine “adventure”. Thrills, fun, edge of your seat suspense, surprise just when you need it.

Imagine the unexpected challenges arising in your life and being able to think through and plan a strategy alongside someone you trust and respect.

Look through the eyes of the one you love for a moment. Do you know what makes them laugh or what kind of surprises they love?

Do you understand what they anticipate or look forward to doing?

What would draw out their deep gratitude?

How do they wish you would respond when life gets tough and you are both caught off-guard?

6.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for significance

Imagine having all of the cherishing your heart could hold.

Imagine the tranquility of never having to worry about losing the love surrounding you.

Imagine being completely accepted.

Imagine having someone look at you in a way that tells you they believe in you.

Imagine making a mistake and being told that it’s ok, that you are learning and that you should be patient with yourself.

Your heart yearns for this. So does the heart of the one you love, though they may never voice that.

Do you know what makes them afraid that they are not enough?

Do you understand how lonely they feel inside and what might make their heart open like a flower to the sun?

7.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need to be loved unconditionally

Imagine someone totally committed to doing everything within their power to love you in the way you define love.

Advertising

Imagine someone seeing you are cold and bringing you a sweater even before you ask.

Imagine someone sensing how tired you are and sending you for a rest while they take care of what you normally take care of.

Imagine the words, “I forgive you. I understand. Nothing will ever change my love for you. It grows stronger every day.”

Imagine someone putting aside their own excitement of the day in order to bring you comfort when they see you may be struggling.

True love is stepping up and loving someone else in such a way that it becomes more and more “unconditional”.

Their comfort, their care, their needs put more and more ahead of your own.

8.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for connection

How much we all long to be connected.  Thus we have communities, sports teams, clubs and groups of every kind. It’s healthy to be a part of what interests us outside of our relationships but how often do we begin to prefer to spend time there because the bond between us and our loved one is broken.

Imagine having that sense of “belonging” fulfilled in every way possible within your relationship so that when friends or extended family disappoint you, you weather it together.

Imagine being able to talk about anything and everything revealing all of your thoughts and dreams and ideas freely.

Imagine being heard – really heard – and your opinions being appreciated and acknowledged.

Imagine being held just when you need it the most in the way you need it.

That man or woman in your life aches for this as much as you do. Open your heart and search for as many ways to connect with them as possible. Learn to listen and to enjoy some of the activities that they enjoy.

9.  True love thrives on the courage to meet your lover’s need for growth

If you are not growing, you die – even while you are still living. We experience this consistently in nature all around us. Trees and grass and children exemplify this truth.

Imagine someone knowing your dreams, your aspirations, your future plans and goals.

Imagine that the greatest pleasure in someone’s life is celebrating your milestones right alongside of you because they are proud of you and were there for you every step of the long climb it took to get there.

Advertising

Put yourself in the shoes of the one you have committed your life to.

What are her dreams?  What are his?

Have you had a long look recently into their eyes in order to reach the bottom of their heart?  Or do you take for granted that you know all there is to know?

What do they want, really want, from life?

What is within your power to help them get there?

10.  True love is the courage to meet your lover’s need to make a difference

When life is cruel to you and breaks your heart, you tend to withdraw from the world in order to protect yourself from more pain.  Often it is said that out of your greatest pain comes your greatest mission.

You are not random. You were made with care and innate skills to let life prepare you to help someone else.

Imagine what it would feel like to give in a way that made a difference to someone.

Imagine an overwhelming sense of fulfillment because you have given yourself permission to do what you love and help someone else in the process. I am using my love to write to help others learn how to love right now.

Imagine having a partner who knows you so well that he or she opens your eyes to a new understanding of the gifts you’ve been given.

Part of your purpose in life is to assist your partner in finding his or her own way of unconditionally giving love to the world around them.  You are the one who can observe their strengths in ways that no one else can.

 

Do you want to find true love?  Then it’s vital that you take these truths to heart and find your courage to become all you can be in order to help someone else become all they can be.

Remember, “The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and to be loved in return”.

Do you have some other vital things to share about learning to love?

Featured photo credit: Image credit: kiuikson / 123RF Stock Photo via submit.123rf.com

More by this author

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming 9 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for a New Love in 2015 Marriage proposal on a liferaft. Heart Melt! 10 Proposal Ideas From Movies You Should Copy And Paste! Man gazing into woman's eyes 10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love Man with arms open toward the sun 10 Ways To Let Go Of The Lies You’ve Been Telling Yourself

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive 2 10 Things a Happy Person Does Differently 3 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges 4 41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About 5 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

Advertising

When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

Advertising

3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

Advertising

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

Advertising

7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

Read Next