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10 Reasons Why Some Mothers Are Always Joyful

10 Reasons Why Some Mothers Are Always Joyful

“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” Maya Angelou

After 22 years of being a busy Mum, a working Mum, an involved Mum, a helicopter Mum, a kind Mum, a nagging Mum, an insecure Mum and a taxi driver Mum, I am still asking myself: is there an easier and less complicated way to be a good Mum?

The answer is thankfully yes, there is a better way and I found it when I met Sarah – a self-proclaimed joyful mother. She actually said to me she was a “joyful mother” of 7 children. The fact that she had 7 children was amazing enough however what I also couldn’t get over was how fantastic she looked!

I wanted to know Sarah’s secret about how she managed to look so great and happy while being a mother to 7 children. Secretly I was hoping that she would turn out to be a Wonder Mother, who is so perfect that I wouldn’t even try to follow her advice.

Sarah is definitely not a wonder woman and as I got to know Sarah, I discovered that her secret for being not only a great mother but also a fantastic woman, is that she truly is a joyful mum, who loves her family and lives a happy and fulfilled life.

I now believe 100% that the secret to being a good mother is to choose to be a joyful mother. I also realise that it is hard for us to be great mothers all the time however by being joyful we can be good mothers most of the time.

With Sarah’s guidance I am working towards being a joyful mother which thankfully releases me from all the constraints of having to play all the other roles of motherhood – it can get exhausting trying to play out what I believe to be over 50 Mum roles.

As a joyful mother I get to play only one role. Life is simple, my parenting skills have improved and the husband and kids are happy! It’s a no brainer.

So what is it that makes being a joyful mother so appealing?

  “A joyful mother will have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids!” Unknown

Well, joyful mothers understand 10 things about being a mother that many others just don’t get.

If you are planning to become a joyful mother, then these 10 things that only joyful mothers understand, will give you a really good insight into the mind and life of a joyful mother. I guarantee that once you have read these 10 things there is no way you can do anything but become a joyful mother!

1. They understand that it is an impossible job to aim for perfection – so they don’t.

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    They aim to be the best mothers they can be, with imperfections and all. Perfection creates a huge distraction from the joy of being a mother – that’s why joyful mothers have no interest whatsoever in being perfect and everything to everyone.

    A joyful mother would rather be a real mother,who does not get everything right all the time, than a super efficient perfect mother. Joyful mothers understand how important it is not to sweat the small stuff.

    2. They will happily take time to be alone to revive and energise themselves.

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      Joyful mothers know how important it is for their families wellbeing and happiness for them to look after their spiritual, physical, mental and emotional well-being. Joyful mothers will happily and with no guilt take a time out from their families on a regular basis.

      3. They understand the power of their intuition.

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        They trust and have faith in themselves and will act on their instinct. Joyful mothers use their intuition to guide them through the minefields of challenging times.  A joyful mother will know immediately by looking at their child, if something is wrong. Joyful mothers focus on getting to know their children and they use this knowledge along with their intuition to support and parent their children.

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        They understand that their number one role is to be a parent to their child. There second role is to be their friend. Joyful mothers strive to build loving, respectful and happy relationships with their children.

        4. They are not afraid to ask for help.

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          They understand that by asking for help, they enable themselves to be an even better mother. Joyful mothers are not hung up on the fact that they have to do everything for their children. They believe that it is “healthy role modelling” for their children to see that their mother is not perfect and that she will ask for help. By asking for help everyone in the family benefits – its a win – win situation and joyful mothers get that.

          5. They understand the importance of letting go – so they do.

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            A joyful mother understands the reality of parenting and knows that there comes a time when their children leave home. A joyful mother will encourage and support her children to go out into the world and live their lives to the fullest. She also understands that her children need to be independent and will make mistakes, wrong decision or wrong choices in life.

            She will not shelter her children from the reality of life. A joyful mother understands that her role as a parent, is to instil in her children the core values and behaviours that will keep them be accountable for their own life – their successes and their failures.

            Joyful mothers trust their children and know that by letting them go, they will always come back to her because they love and respect her.

            6. They understand how important it is to take care of relationships.

            GIF-Dancing-dance-mom-mom-jeans-moms-moves-party-hard-werk-wild-win-winning-yolo-GIF

              Joyful mothers value their relationships and will work hard to take care and nurture them. Joyful mothers in any relationship, with or without partners, will focus on ensuring that communication is flowing and conflict is resolved as quickly as possible.

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              A joyful mother does not like to have unresolved conflicts as it impacts on her role to be a good mother. A joyful mother is solution focused. She works hard to ensure that her children are able to manage and deal with conflict constructively.

              A joyful mother understands how important it is for her children to experience “positive and healthy relationships” in their lives. She knows that these healthy relationships will lay the foundations for any future relationships her children will have.

              7. They understand the value of friendship.

              GIF-Dancing-dance-funny-mom-jeans-moms-Mothers-Day-party-snl-GIF

                Friendships are highly valued by joyful mothers. Having friends is a way for a joyful mother to stay sane and feel connected to people who are going through the same things as she does. It is good to be surrounded by your comrades in arms!

                Friendships allow you to let off steam, get advice from like-minded people, have fun, relax and laugh. Joyful mothers know what to look for in a friend and will also be a very loyal and supportive friend themselves.

                8. They understand how important it is to forgive.

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                  Joyful mothers are able to forgive themselves and others. They love their children unconditionally and one of the gifts of unconditional love is forgiveness.

                  It is a challenging role being a parent and joyful mothers. But they do not hide away from the pain and hardship that can come with parenting. They accept that they will make mistakes and that their children will also make mistakes – however it is forgiveness towards themselves and others that keeps joyful mothers emotionally strong and resilient.

                  9. They love to laugh.

                  Dancing Mum
                    Dancing Mum

                    Joyful mothers understand the immense happiness laughter can bring to their families and to their own lives – so they laugh a lot.

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                    Joyful mothers make a conscious effort to find things in their lives that they are grateful for and they choose to be joyful every day. Gratitude and happiness are daily habits joyful mothers religiously practise.

                    Playing,cuddling and hugging their children even when they are adults, brings mothers great joy and happiness.

                    10. They understand how important it is to be a “Future Thinker”.

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                      Joyful mothers plan for the future. They focus on raising their children to be future leaders and to be accountable for how they live their lives. A joyful mother always has a plan on how she can build her children into future leaders. She will not abandon that plan and succumb to social pressures. She knows her children really well, she listens to them and she encourages and supports them to be the “best people they can be”.

                      A joyful mother understands that her behaviours, actions and values have a huge influence on how her children live their future lives. She therefore chooses to live her life demonstrating the values, behaviours and actions of the leader she wants her children to be.

                      To be a joyful mother one has to wake up each day and choose to be joyful. It takes work, commitment and the desire to be the best mother you can be.

                      The thing about being a mother, is that you only get one shot at it and you want that one shot to be the “best one shot” ever.

                      By choosing to be a joyful mother you are definitely on the right path to being the “best mother in the whole world” for your children.

                      A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” Washington Irving

                      Featured photo credit: Portrait of happy mother and baby playing outdoors via shutterstock.com

                      More by this author

                      Kathryn Sandford

                      Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

                      How to Always Choose Happiness Even During Tough Times Adapting to Change: Why It Matters and How to Do It 7 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of the Unknown And Get More Out of Life How to Persevere (And Get Ahead!) When the Going Gets Tough Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max

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                      Last Updated on April 23, 2019

                      13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

                      13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

                      Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

                      Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

                      My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

                      To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

                      You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

                      Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

                      “I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

                      “I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

                      “I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

                      “I don’t deserve happiness”

                      EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

                      Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

                      Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

                      This article highlights the top 13 tips and tricks of how happy people think and feel.

                      If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently:

                      1. Happy People Put Happiness First

                      Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

                      Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

                      To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

                      The happy person asks,

                      “What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

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                      “Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

                      They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

                      If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

                      Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

                      If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

                      2. Happy People Embrace Pain

                      I know what you are thinking –

                      “No one is ALWAYS happy”

                      or …

                      “Even happy people get in bad moods”

                      and …

                      These statements are absolutely accurate.

                      Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

                      Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

                      Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

                      Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

                      When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

                      3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

                      We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

                      The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

                      How are you currently defining yourself?

                      For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

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                      When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves.

                      When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

                      Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

                      Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

                      If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

                      4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

                      The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

                      Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

                      Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

                      They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

                      5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

                      Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

                      However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

                      We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

                      If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

                      What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

                      Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

                      They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

                      What are you triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

                      These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds.

                      6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

                      Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

                      Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

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                      Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

                      A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

                      A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

                      7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

                      Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

                      Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

                      We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

                      In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

                      8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

                      What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

                      What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

                      Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

                      When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

                      9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

                      Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

                      It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

                      Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

                      Negativity is NOT normal.

                      The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

                      Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

                      In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

                      10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

                      The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

                      They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

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                      The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, thenyoue can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

                      Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

                      If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

                      11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

                      Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

                      Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

                      It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

                      Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

                      12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

                      Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

                      It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

                      Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

                      13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment.

                      When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

                      Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

                      Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

                      In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

                      If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

                      I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

                      It starts with one decision – happiness.

                      The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

                      Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

                      Reference

                      [1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

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