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10 Things Calm People Do that Make Them More Likely to Be Successful

10 Things Calm People Do that Make Them More Likely to Be Successful

Keeping a cool head is a critical part of being successful. When you get frazzled or dismayed, it can be incredibly difficult to make good choices. Whether you are already rocking the calm vibes or you are looking to get some chill tips, here are ten things that calm folks do that contribute to their success:

1. They Live Right Here, Right Now

When you lose sight of the present, you can get really stressed. There are a lot of things you’ve got to do tomorrow, next week, next year. Calm people know that focusing too much on the future does not lead to success. Sure, we should all have a sense of direction, but that can quickly get out of hand. Remember the now, increase your enjoyment, and find success in the task before you.

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2. They Expect Some Craziness

While calm people may not generate or encourage craziness, lots of other variables can lead to some level of chaos. Calm people know that this is natural and there is no use in denying the existence of crazy. Instead, it is better to realize that sometimes things won’t go as planned and that is okay. Things will continue to work out, despite a little messiness here and there.

3. They Develop and Follow Through on Routines

While some people see routines as boring, calm people know it can really be a soothing experience. Whether we want to admit it or not, human beings thrive on routine. When we know what is going to happen next and follow through, we can train our minds to stay calm. Certainly everything can not be boiled down into a routine, but calm people know that developing and sticking to one or two routines can give them some mental space and ultimately contribute to their success.

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4. They Spend Time Taking Care of Themselves

One reason calm people can stay cool in difficult situations is because they have spent time taking care of themselves. Consciously dedicating some time and energy every day to doing things you love can seriously increase your sense of peace. While it may be inconvenient to schedule time to watch a movie or do your favorite craft, calm people know it is an investment worth making.

5. They Know How to Turn Off the Phone

Our phones can be a great source of entertainment, but they can also cause a lot of stress. It is incredibly difficult to find some mental space away from your problems if your email is always stealing a few moments here and there. Calm people protect their down time. This sometimes requires turning off the cell phone, but this is a sacrifice calm people are willing to make.

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6. They Enjoy a Good Walk

While driving can be an efficient way to travel, it doesn’t really connect you to your environment. However, going for a walk allows you to smell, feel, and breath the outside air. You have to dedicate less mental energy to walking which gives you more time to think and process the day’s events. Calm people know that a good walk can provide mental freedom and an opportunity to step out of the chaos of everyday life.

7. They Know When and How to Set Up Boundaries

You can’t be calm if everybody is demanding things from you all the time. Calm people know that setting up boundaries is absolutely necessary, even if it may seem a little mean at times. If you don’t protect your time, you will be unable to accomplish any of your tasks effectively.

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8. They Find Contentment in Today

Sure we’ve all got big dreams, but just because you hope things will be different tomorrow doesn’t mean today isn’t pretty darn great. Calm people look for and find things to be grateful for about today. Consciously identifying good things throughout your day increases your sense of happiness and peace.

9. They Creatively Exercise Regularly

Calm people have learned how to manage their emotions effectively. Numerous studies have shown that exercising can increase your sense of happiness and peace. By varying the exercise routine and trying different types of exercise, calm people stay engaged in their exercise plan and use their workouts to channel a lot of their distracting emotions.

10. They Volunteer

Being calm is a symptom of feeling content. One way to find contentment, is to help others. Volunteering increases your sense of purpose and provides genuine meaningful relationships with others. The meaning and perspective provided by volunteering is an incredible asset to those seeking to become successful.

Featured photo credit: suc via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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