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Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Picture this: you’re celebrating your 68th birthday. Retirement, finally! The office throws you a little party, the boss gives you a gold pen, but the festivities leave you feeling hollow inside. What happened? Where did all the time go? You went to college, entered the corporate world along with your classmates, and your life and dreams passed you by. Sometimes you shouldn’t just go with the flow. Instead, find that hidden door and escape the mainstream world before you regret it.

Shape your life for the better and uncover your true heart’s desires by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Where do I need to go to find myself?

What do you truly want in your life? From work, lifestyle, to relationship…What do you prefer? What suits you the best? Without exploring well before settling down, you’re very likely limiting yourself living a life you might not really enjoy, but just happens to be the only way you know.

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Go somewhere to know more about yourself. You’ll never know what you really want unless you try more. Most of us underestimate our potential and stop ourselves from going further. Take the first step and everything will be different. If you go to a new place where the culture is nearly the opposite of yours, you’ll learn even more.

2. If you could do anything at all, what would it be?

Have you always wanted to be a beer taster or a stunt double in the movies? A truffle hunter, pearl diver, or a monkey trainer?

Forget what other people do, the family business, or traditions. Reply with your heart. What kind of job do you really want? Putting the practical concerns aside, what would you really really want to do even if no one tells you to? What would you still enjoy doing even if it’s not paid?

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3. Dig out the reasons

You may know the places you want to go and the jobs you prefer, but have you ever asked yourself the reason behind those particular choices? Let’s say if you’re interested in having your own restaurant. Is it because you’re really passionate in cooking? Or you like a manage a restaurant to make every customer happy? If you’re passionate in cooking, are there any other choices? Like being a Youtube blogger or a master chef?

Find your why and seek out the motivation behind your wildest dreams.

4. What jobs do you dread the most?

Claustrophobic in cubicles? An office job would be like ingesting slow poison. Faint at the sight of blood? Not even Doctors without Borders will change your reaction. You have to face the fact that you have fears and some things you should avoid.

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What kind of employment fills you with dread? A 9-to-5 job in a department store without windows? Anything dealing with numbers or the public? By getting to know what you dread most, you can become better armed at heading it off and motivate yourself to avoid those types of jobs altogether.

5. How low are you willing to go?

Seek out that which causes your soul to sing. But, you must understand that all dreams come at a cost and that may mean making sacrifices in order to see them come true.

Ask yourself what is the lowest standard of living you are willing to face to make those dreams reality. Would you be able to live long-term in a tent, battle heat and bugs and eat tinned beans just to make that Caribbean island dream come true? Would you sleep in youth hostel dorms with strangers in order to become a travel writer? A mud hut with no running water in Zambia for the Peace Corps?

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What is the lowest level of living that you would deem acceptable to make your dreams become a reality?

Don’t wait for that retirement party to shake you awake. Give yourself permission to to live your dreams today. Be proactive now. Uncover your true desires, learn what to avoid, and know your passions. Live blissfully by following your dreams.

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Published on April 16, 2019

How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life

How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

Whether it was deciding to treat yourself with a little something or travel for some R&R, how often do you practice self-care?

Well, as good as above sounds, there’s a common misconception that many of us have about self-care: that it’s only about indulgence and enjoyment.

However, self-care goes far beyond indulgence. It’s actually about respecting your mind and body, understanding its limits, and being able to take care of every part of yourself, in a holistic way.

And, you really don’t have to go to extreme measures or do anything specific–like meditating or following a plant based diet–in order to practice self-care. You just have to make sure that what you’re doing is in your best interests.

So how can you make that happen?

Below are a few proven methods that will help you become a better version of you. Follow through with these regularly and you’ll be well on your way to living your very best life.

Listen to Yourself

The bulk of self-care is knowing yourself.

This means knowing your body’s limitations, and being in tune with your feelings, emotions and thoughts. So it’s important, then, to know who you are and what you want to do in life, in order to truly say that you know yourself. 

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What is your purpose?

Have you ever thought about this question?

Your purpose doesn’t have to remain the same throughout your life. What you found a purpose in at age 19 would likely be different at age 49.

In your current situation, think about the different roles that you have – as a working professional, a spouse, a partner, a parent, etc.

Do you feel like you are fulfilling your purpose through any of these roles?

All you have to do is ensure that what you’re chasing is meaningful to you; this will bring focus and motivation as you strive to achieve your goals.

If you have your purpose defined, then that’s awesome! You know what drives you and why.

But, if you don’t feel like you have a purpose nailed down, it’s good to start by asking why.

For example, why are you working in your particular job or industry? If the reason is vague or unclear, then your motivational energy will be the same. In which case, you may find yourself not having a direction for where you’re headed in life.

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If you’d like to learn more about finding your purpose, then I recommend you check out this article:

How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

Seek Out Continuous Education

Now, this may seem less common when you think of self-care, but lifelong learning is incredibly useful and an important component of taking care of yourself.

It’s Super Practical

Lifelong learning is extremely practical these days and does not require as much effort as it may have in the past. Long gone are the days when you could only find information on something by visiting a library. In this day of the internet, anything you can imagine is at your fingertips.

You don’t need to physically go to a learning institution to learn. You can watch Youtube videos to learn new skills, take online courses to earn a degree, and scroll through an endless amount of articles, books and journals from reputable news and informative sites.

When you’re constantly pushing yourself to learn and take up new things, your mental health also improves. Research shows that an active and engaged mind is responsible for diminishing age-related memory loss and improves overall cognitive abilities.

Your Confidence Will Skyrocket

You’ll also have improved self worth as it teaches you to step outside of your comfort zone, which will undoubtedly improve your confidence.

You’ll also connect better with others by expanding your knowledge base. Learning exposes you to a multitude of new ideas and perspectives that you may have otherwise never considered. This also increases your adaptability. Whether it’s at work or just wanting to adapt to society, your peers, and loved ones, life long learning prepares you to take on new challenges.

You’ll Be More Desired in the Job Market

Another obvious reason for continuous education, is that your employability will also increase.

With the ever changing economy, and huge influences from technology, social media, science etc., job descriptions today are moving targets. Assignments and roles change so quickly in response to changing business demands, it becomes a Herculean task to keep a job description database current.

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In years past, stability was a characteristic of the world of work. Procedures, information, jobs, and organizations were established and provided continuity. Education was completed in the first 14 to 22 years of one’s life, followed by a long career occasionally punctuated by short-term job training.

Today, however, jobs, companies, and technology are disappearing and being created simultaneously. To remain current and maintain a competitive advantage in the human capital marketplace, an individual is challenged to continually learn.

People return to school at every age to enrich their skills and knowledge for their current positions. Some even prepare themselves for new jobs or career changes, moving them forward into new opportunities and technology.

We can be assured that we will be challenged to continue to learn new tasks and information throughout our lives. Successful careers belong to flexible, curious learners who are prepared for opportunities because they know themselves and where they make their best contribution. As Peter Drucker, the father of modern management stated,

“Knowledge is choice.”

Lifelong learning also increases social awareness and perspective. To genuinely understand and empathize with others, increase social awareness, and foster strong interpersonal relationships, it’s important to seek out new perspectives. Enhancing the skills that positively impact emotional intelligence can bring even greater happiness and success, both personally and at work; and, this is all part of self-care.

Improve Your Habits (Both at Work and at Home)

Now, the last piece of advice I want to introduce to your self-care regimen, is to improve your habits.

Habits define who you are, and are built up over time. You are what you eat is a great example of this. If you make it a habit to eat foods that nourish your body, rather than make your body feel bad, then you will be much healthier overall.

Good Habits Allow You to Reach Your Goals

Since habits dictate your days and nights, such as waking up every morning to get to work before a certain time, or brushing your teeth before bedtime every night, they play a major role in whether we do or do not reach our goals.

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When you form habits that allow you to progress towards your goals, you’re automatically living a purposeful day, everyday.

Habits Make Your Time a Priority

How do you spend your free time? Do you opt to lounge on the couch watching Netflix passively, or do you engage in activities that support your purpose in life?

It’s natural to waste a lot of time during the day, but fostering good habits will make you set a pattern for how you spend your time and give you the choice of what you choose to spend your time on. By improving your habits, you’ll find that you can be a LOT more productive. When you create good habits, you become more efficient with your time and a lot less is wasted.

This in essence creates an overall positive influence on your life, allowing you to treat your mind and body well, which is why improving your habits are so important to self-care.

Your Well Being Comes First

We live in such a fast-paced society, where we are often so caught up in our work, families, maintaining our social lives, our studies and everything in between. It’s an understatement to say that life can get a little overwhelming at times.

If you’ve ever watched the safety video onboard a plane, you’ll know that they always ask for a parent or adult to put on the safety mask first, before tending to the child. This may sound selfish, but the fact is that if you truly want to ensure the child’s safety, then your safety needs to come first so that you can protect and care for the child without complications from your end.

The same goes for self-care. We need to ensure that our well being is priority, so that we can be the best for the people around us.

Listening to yourself, practicing lifelong learning and improving your habits are steps that you can take to ensure you’re constantly in the best state of mind, alongside the indulgence and rest that you reward yourself with.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Raychan on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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