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Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Picture this: you’re celebrating your 68th birthday. Retirement, finally! The office throws you a little party, the boss gives you a gold pen, but the festivities leave you feeling hollow inside. What happened? Where did all the time go? You went to college, entered the corporate world along with your classmates, and your life and dreams passed you by. Sometimes you shouldn’t just go with the flow. Instead, find that hidden door and escape the mainstream world before you regret it.

Shape your life for the better and uncover your true heart’s desires by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Where do I need to go to find myself?

What do you truly want in your life? From work, lifestyle, to relationship…What do you prefer? What suits you the best? Without exploring well before settling down, you’re very likely limiting yourself living a life you might not really enjoy, but just happens to be the only way you know.

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Go somewhere to know more about yourself. You’ll never know what you really want unless you try more. Most of us underestimate our potential and stop ourselves from going further. Take the first step and everything will be different. If you go to a new place where the culture is nearly the opposite of yours, you’ll learn even more.

2. If you could do anything at all, what would it be?

Have you always wanted to be a beer taster or a stunt double in the movies? A truffle hunter, pearl diver, or a monkey trainer?

Forget what other people do, the family business, or traditions. Reply with your heart. What kind of job do you really want? Putting the practical concerns aside, what would you really really want to do even if no one tells you to? What would you still enjoy doing even if it’s not paid?

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3. Dig out the reasons

You may know the places you want to go and the jobs you prefer, but have you ever asked yourself the reason behind those particular choices? Let’s say if you’re interested in having your own restaurant. Is it because you’re really passionate in cooking? Or you like a manage a restaurant to make every customer happy? If you’re passionate in cooking, are there any other choices? Like being a Youtube blogger or a master chef?

Find your why and seek out the motivation behind your wildest dreams.

4. What jobs do you dread the most?

Claustrophobic in cubicles? An office job would be like ingesting slow poison. Faint at the sight of blood? Not even Doctors without Borders will change your reaction. You have to face the fact that you have fears and some things you should avoid.

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What kind of employment fills you with dread? A 9-to-5 job in a department store without windows? Anything dealing with numbers or the public? By getting to know what you dread most, you can become better armed at heading it off and motivate yourself to avoid those types of jobs altogether.

5. How low are you willing to go?

Seek out that which causes your soul to sing. But, you must understand that all dreams come at a cost and that may mean making sacrifices in order to see them come true.

Ask yourself what is the lowest standard of living you are willing to face to make those dreams reality. Would you be able to live long-term in a tent, battle heat and bugs and eat tinned beans just to make that Caribbean island dream come true? Would you sleep in youth hostel dorms with strangers in order to become a travel writer? A mud hut with no running water in Zambia for the Peace Corps?

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What is the lowest level of living that you would deem acceptable to make your dreams become a reality?

Don’t wait for that retirement party to shake you awake. Give yourself permission to to live your dreams today. Be proactive now. Uncover your true desires, learn what to avoid, and know your passions. Live blissfully by following your dreams.

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Sally White

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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