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Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Don’t Always Go With The Flow. Shape Your Life For The Better With These 5 Questions

Picture this: you’re celebrating your 68th birthday. Retirement, finally! The office throws you a little party, the boss gives you a gold pen, but the festivities leave you feeling hollow inside. What happened? Where did all the time go? You went to college, entered the corporate world along with your classmates, and your life and dreams passed you by. Sometimes you shouldn’t just go with the flow. Instead, find that hidden door and escape the mainstream world before you regret it.

Shape your life for the better and uncover your true heart’s desires by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Where do I need to go to find myself?

What do you truly want in your life? From work, lifestyle, to relationship…What do you prefer? What suits you the best? Without exploring well before settling down, you’re very likely limiting yourself living a life you might not really enjoy, but just happens to be the only way you know.

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Go somewhere to know more about yourself. You’ll never know what you really want unless you try more. Most of us underestimate our potential and stop ourselves from going further. Take the first step and everything will be different. If you go to a new place where the culture is nearly the opposite of yours, you’ll learn even more.

2. If you could do anything at all, what would it be?

Have you always wanted to be a beer taster or a stunt double in the movies? A truffle hunter, pearl diver, or a monkey trainer?

Forget what other people do, the family business, or traditions. Reply with your heart. What kind of job do you really want? Putting the practical concerns aside, what would you really really want to do even if no one tells you to? What would you still enjoy doing even if it’s not paid?

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3. Dig out the reasons

You may know the places you want to go and the jobs you prefer, but have you ever asked yourself the reason behind those particular choices? Let’s say if you’re interested in having your own restaurant. Is it because you’re really passionate in cooking? Or you like a manage a restaurant to make every customer happy? If you’re passionate in cooking, are there any other choices? Like being a Youtube blogger or a master chef?

Find your why and seek out the motivation behind your wildest dreams.

4. What jobs do you dread the most?

Claustrophobic in cubicles? An office job would be like ingesting slow poison. Faint at the sight of blood? Not even Doctors without Borders will change your reaction. You have to face the fact that you have fears and some things you should avoid.

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What kind of employment fills you with dread? A 9-to-5 job in a department store without windows? Anything dealing with numbers or the public? By getting to know what you dread most, you can become better armed at heading it off and motivate yourself to avoid those types of jobs altogether.

5. How low are you willing to go?

Seek out that which causes your soul to sing. But, you must understand that all dreams come at a cost and that may mean making sacrifices in order to see them come true.

Ask yourself what is the lowest standard of living you are willing to face to make those dreams reality. Would you be able to live long-term in a tent, battle heat and bugs and eat tinned beans just to make that Caribbean island dream come true? Would you sleep in youth hostel dorms with strangers in order to become a travel writer? A mud hut with no running water in Zambia for the Peace Corps?

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What is the lowest level of living that you would deem acceptable to make your dreams become a reality?

Don’t wait for that retirement party to shake you awake. Give yourself permission to to live your dreams today. Be proactive now. Uncover your true desires, learn what to avoid, and know your passions. Live blissfully by following your dreams.

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on February 19, 2019

How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months

How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months

The cycle of bad habits is what keeps us living small and stops us from reaching our true potential. Breaking a bad habit isn’t as hard as it seems; despite being a CEO of a company and raising two children, I still managed to break 3 bad habits I had within 2 months. Yes, that’s quitting one habit in less than 21 days.

I took steps to eliminate them one at a time. Habits such as drinking Coke every day, slouching when sitting and not having a consistent exercise routine.

So how did I break these habits? I used the Control Alternate Delete Method (Ctrl Alt Del).

What is this method and why is it so effective? Read on to find out how to break bad habits with this unique method.

How to break bad habits with the Control Alternate Delete Method

    We all notice on some level what our bad habits are. A lot of the time we choose to ignore the negative ways these impact us.

    For me, I was sitting most of the day in front of my computer at work in a slouching position. I drank Coke every single day in an attempt to stay awake. I put off any kind of exercise regime because I felt that it was better to just relax and have fun after a whole day of work. As a result, I was leading a really unhealthy lifestyle suffering from weight gain and back pain.

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    I needed to make a change.

    I started to read books about building habits such as The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The One Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan, and The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. After reading all these books, I’ve come up with my own method to quit bad habits — The Ctrl Alt Del Method.

    I started by focusing on just one bad habit, the first one being the sheer amount of Coke I was consuming each day.

    Every day I applied the Ctrl Alt Del Method and after two weeks, not only did I stop drinking Coke every day (I only drank one can in 2 weeks), but I started the better habit of drinking 8 glasses of water every day instead.

    After eliminating one bad habit, I moved on to the other two with this same method and a month later I was:

    • Hitting the gym twice a week.
    • Improving my sitting posture, not only at the office but also at home and everywhere else, improving my back pain.
    • Gaining core muscle which improved my back pain as well.
    • Losing fat around my waist which went from 36″ (considered obese level) to 32″ (normal level).

    If I can improve my life using this method, then so can you. Using this structure to eliminate your bad habits will increase your success and replace your bad habits with more positive ones.

    Control: Master your desire

      Identify your triggers

      Bad habits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and snacking too much trigger the release of dopamine, a feel-good chemical in the brain.[1] Although you might not like the end result, they give you a positive outcome in the moment. This is pure psychology.

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      It’s important to identify what is triggering you to continually act out your bad habit. This isn’t always an easy step because our habits have been built up over a long period of time.

      If you need help in identifying your triggers, here’s a list of common bad habits and their triggers: 13 Bad Habits You Need to Quit Right Away

      Self-reflect

      To help you work out your triggers, do a bit of self-reflection. Ask yourself questions such as:

      • What comfort are you getting from this habit?
      • Why do you need comfort?

      For example, I chose to drink coke because it tasted good and it made me feel good when I was stressed. I slouched only when I sat for too long working on my desk and started to feel tired. I skipped exercises because every day after work I felt I already did enough works and didn’t want to work out.

      If you choose to eat fast food every night, you’re probably telling yourself you’re too busy to cook. But ask yourself why? What are your priorities?

      Maybe you have a lack of self-worth that means you don’t have the self-love to want to look after your health. Perhaps it’s a sign you’re not making enough time for important routines like shopping and creating a healthy meal yourself. Maybe you’ve always had a belief that you’re a bad cook.

      Write a diary

      Write down your thoughts and feelings around this bad habit. Writing things down forces the brain to think harder.[2] This helps you to find the source to your stress or limiting negative beliefs.

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      Alternate: Find a replacement

        Find a positive alternative habit

        Once you think you’ve discovered your trigger, try to find a similar but healthy option. This is where I replaced Coke with lemon water; slouching with simply taking a walk and stretching my back every hour; and chilling at home after work with workout exercises that I actually found fun.

        You could decide to walk to the office instead of driving or getting off the bus earlier to walk. You could switch to a healthier breakfast cereal instead of grabbing a sugary snack when you head out of the door.

        By doing this, you aren’t getting rid of the act altogether like you would if you completely gave something up with nothing to fill that void. This helps your brain accept the improved habit more.

        Create a defence plan

        Everyone has moments of weakness and that want to revert back to the bad habit will rear its ugly head. This is where a plan can help counteract these moments.

        Think of things you can do when the temptations come. For example, if you want to check your phone less, ask your friend or partner to keep it for you or switch it off and read a book. If you’re a starter for an exercise routine, like me, get someone to do it with you to keep you accountable.

        Decide on something you will do once you feel triggered to go back to your old habit. Repeating these positive alternative habits consistently will help wire your brain to see them as your normal new habit over time.

        Delete: Remove temptations

          Remove stuff that reminds you of the bad habit

          Getting rid of anything that reminds you of your bad habit is essential. For example, I got rid of coke in my office and at home and replaced my usual office chair with an exercise ball. It makes it much easier to stop slipping back in a weak moment.

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          Avoid all kinds of temptations

          In the same vein, avoid places or people that you know will tempt you back into that bad habit. Don’t go to the supermarket on an empty stomach to avoid the temptation to buy trashy snacks, don’t drive past that fast food joint but find an alternative route instead, say no more often to the friend you know will get you drunk again this weekend.

          It’s all about not putting yourself in the situation where you’re in danger of relapsing.

          Conclusion

          The Control Alternate Delete Method uses the right steps you need to overcome your need to indulge in your bad habits. Working with your core psychology, emotions and feelings behind your actions is what makes this method effective and easy to apply to all bad habits you have.

          Bad habits are easy to form and making changes can seem difficult but remember that it’s all about consistency and repetition.

          Start using the Control Alternate Delete Method today and you can stop a bad habit permanently.

          What bad habit do you want to put a stop to once and for all? You must set aside time and pick one bad habit to focus on. Start using the steps to increase and maintain more positivity in your life moving forward.

          More Resources About Changing Habits

          Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

          Reference

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