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If You Include These 5 Habits In Your Life, You Can Hugely Boost Your Confidence

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If You Include These 5 Habits In Your Life, You Can Hugely Boost Your Confidence

The way we view ourselves tells a lot about how much confidence we have. If we are confident in ourselves, the opinion of what others think is not as important to pursuing our personal goals. If we lack confidence, it is easier to let someone else talk us out of pursuing a dream.

While it is true that surrounding ourselves with positive people is a benefit, what really matters is how much we trust in our own abilities to find our own sense of happiness and success. If we do not believe in ourselves, it is unlikely we can achieve our personal best.

1. Build your Confidence

Reaching for uplifting, positive reading and visual material is one way to increase your sense of self-confidence. Ruminating on a positive quote, internalizing a positive message (“I can do anything I put my mind to”) are just two examples of how you can build your own confidence.

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Not all of life’s best gifts can be purchased off a shelf. Bringing ourselves to the table where building takes place is important. Sitting still and doing the mental work to change self-doubt into self-confidence is important.

2. Reject the Doubt of Other People

Also known as “haters,” doubters are people who have no faith and little confidence in our ability to succeed. They also secretly wish they had our desires, dreams and abilities to succeed.

Rejecting the doubt of others can be difficult because sometimes these are the people who are closest to us. But, we have to be able to dismiss their negative comments in order to build our own sense of confidence. Without this skill, we are likely to remain stuck.

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Here is an idea: don’t share your dreams with them at all.

3. Say No and Mean it

Do you ever hear a request and want to say no but say yes instead? The “why” we say yes is not as important as the fact that we are denying ourselves our own truths. This request represents something we do not want to do.  It does not make us an evil witch to say no. In fact, it makes us a confidence protector of our personal resources of time, money and energy.

Saying no is another way to cultivate confidence because we are sending a clear message: “What I want for me at this moment is not to do what you are asking of me.” There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is one way to demonstrate self-care by confidently standing up for our right to protect our own resources of time, money and energy.

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4. Dress to Impress Yourself

It has been said that clothes make the person. But the truth is, clothing has both a symbolic meaning and becomes a physical experience. What really matters is what does an article of clothing mean to you and how, if at all, can it increase your self-confidence and display your sense of self-awareness? If sweat pants make you feel like you are in control of your destiny because you are self-employed and work from home, then wear them. But if a suit is more to your liking, then wear that.

Putting the clothes on and expressing ourselves physically to the world is a sign of confidence. So, confidently wear your clothing to symbolize your own sense of confidence.

5. Celebrate Past Victories

Do you have a pile of cards people have sent you over the years? Chances are, those cards say nice things about you. Do you have a few cherished accomplishments you enjoy bringing to the front of your memory? We can groom a higher sense of self-confidence by celebrating our past triumphs. It is one way to honor the strengths we possess.

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Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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