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Never Get So Busy Making A Living That You Forget To Make A Life

Never Get So Busy Making A Living That You Forget To Make A Life

Elaine cupped her head in her hands. She realized she had made a mistake. All her life she had wanted to be happy; instead, she realized, she was just living from paycheck to paycheck.

Each time she got paid, she managed to save money, but also spend it on material possessions comprised of the latest fads and tangible instruments to decorate her body. Enough is enough, she thought. I have to do better than just living; I want to build a life for myself.

She thought of all the places she wanted to visit and the concerts she never attended. For some reason, at this point in her life, she knew creating these memories would make her happier than she could ever imagine.

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Expectations vs Reality

Elaine is not alone. Unfortunately, all the advertisements encouraging us to buy, buy, buy with images of people smiling send a message. The message is, “If you own this, you can smile too.” That is a lie.

The reality is that if we own all the things we want, we can still end up feeling unhappy and empty.

You’ve heard of the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses?” Well, it simply means if the neighbor, Mr. & Mrs. Jones, buy a car, you run out and buy one too. It doesn’t matter if you can afford it. In fact, don’t bother to consider whether or not you need a new car. The expectation we place on ourselves, too often, is that if I have what other people have, I will be happy like other people.

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But if we take the time to be realistic, and ask ourselves, “What do I really want out of life?” we may discover the secret to our own happiness; the answer to our own happiness lies in the answer to that question.

Be True to Yourself

There is nothing wrong with pursuing our personal dreams and desires, as long as they are morally and ethically sound. Being true to yourself means responding to your own inner voice or inner child, and granting yourself daily wishes. A ride on a merry-go-round or learning something new are both ways to cultivate happiness while answering the inner call to pursue hidden dreams.

Enjoy Every Moment

Being present in the moment means being aware, appreciative, and accepting. This is how we make a life for ourselves. There are people, and animals, too, showing their love, gratitude, and concern right there in front of us. Are we enjoying them? Are we embracing and cherishing each moment that unfolds – whether that moment is good, bad, or indifferent? If not, chances are we are living our lives on autopilot.

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Making a Life

Making a life that is worth enjoying and living is not rooted in tangible things, but in intangible things. The people we meet, know, and love are great assets to our existence. Are we enjoying them as much as we can? Are we spending time creating memories with friends and family members?

Acceptance and Gratitude Lead to Joy

Living in the here and now means doing so with a dose of acceptance. It means we tell the Universe, “I appreciate who I am, what I have and what will come.” This attitude leads to both self-acceptance and gratitude. Then, we can find a place of joy unimaginable.

Having a happy life is not really hard to achieve. There are family and friends close by. There are museums and parks and local events filled with activities to occupy the time of any person. Take a chance, move outside your comfort zone, and live a happy, joyous, carefree life that is built on pleasant memories.

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Featured photo credit: Matthew Henry via unsplash.com

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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