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Never Get So Busy Making A Living That You Forget To Make A Life

Never Get So Busy Making A Living That You Forget To Make A Life

Elaine cupped her head in her hands. She realized she had made a mistake. All her life she had wanted to be happy; instead, she realized, she was just living from paycheck to paycheck.

Each time she got paid, she managed to save money, but also spend it on material possessions comprised of the latest fads and tangible instruments to decorate her body. Enough is enough, she thought. I have to do better than just living; I want to build a life for myself.

She thought of all the places she wanted to visit and the concerts she never attended. For some reason, at this point in her life, she knew creating these memories would make her happier than she could ever imagine.

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Expectations vs Reality

Elaine is not alone. Unfortunately, all the advertisements encouraging us to buy, buy, buy with images of people smiling send a message. The message is, “If you own this, you can smile too.” That is a lie.

The reality is that if we own all the things we want, we can still end up feeling unhappy and empty.

You’ve heard of the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses?” Well, it simply means if the neighbor, Mr. & Mrs. Jones, buy a car, you run out and buy one too. It doesn’t matter if you can afford it. In fact, don’t bother to consider whether or not you need a new car. The expectation we place on ourselves, too often, is that if I have what other people have, I will be happy like other people.

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But if we take the time to be realistic, and ask ourselves, “What do I really want out of life?” we may discover the secret to our own happiness; the answer to our own happiness lies in the answer to that question.

Be True to Yourself

There is nothing wrong with pursuing our personal dreams and desires, as long as they are morally and ethically sound. Being true to yourself means responding to your own inner voice or inner child, and granting yourself daily wishes. A ride on a merry-go-round or learning something new are both ways to cultivate happiness while answering the inner call to pursue hidden dreams.

Enjoy Every Moment

Being present in the moment means being aware, appreciative, and accepting. This is how we make a life for ourselves. There are people, and animals, too, showing their love, gratitude, and concern right there in front of us. Are we enjoying them? Are we embracing and cherishing each moment that unfolds – whether that moment is good, bad, or indifferent? If not, chances are we are living our lives on autopilot.

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Making a Life

Making a life that is worth enjoying and living is not rooted in tangible things, but in intangible things. The people we meet, know, and love are great assets to our existence. Are we enjoying them as much as we can? Are we spending time creating memories with friends and family members?

Acceptance and Gratitude Lead to Joy

Living in the here and now means doing so with a dose of acceptance. It means we tell the Universe, “I appreciate who I am, what I have and what will come.” This attitude leads to both self-acceptance and gratitude. Then, we can find a place of joy unimaginable.

Having a happy life is not really hard to achieve. There are family and friends close by. There are museums and parks and local events filled with activities to occupy the time of any person. Take a chance, move outside your comfort zone, and live a happy, joyous, carefree life that is built on pleasant memories.

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Featured photo credit: Matthew Henry via unsplash.com

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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