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For Significant Self Improvement, You Need To Say Goodbye To These 10 Thoughts

For Significant Self Improvement, You Need To Say Goodbye To These 10 Thoughts

When you talk to yourself, what do you say? Do you motivate yourself with kind, empowering words like you do when you speak to your loved ones, or are they more negative? Many people attack themselves on a daily basis in their own minds, which can ruin their self-confidence.

Check out 10 thoughts that you need to say goodbye to so that you can focus on self-improvement.

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1. “It’s too late to do anything about it now.”

Whether you are 16 or 60, you can always change and improve. Often inner peace and strength are gained through a lifetime of learning, and these skills can completely change your outlook on life. Remember that you are a work In progress; don’t tell the painter to stop painting before the masterpiece is done!

2. “None of this is my fault, it’s their fault.”

It is very easy to blame others for everything, because you don’t have to do anything yourself. You don’t have to change or improve – so more than anything, you won’t grow. Accept responsibility for your mistakes so that you can improve your life and find happiness.

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3. “If only I was funnier and smarter.”

Not being comfortable with who you are can ruin your self-esteem. Every single person on Earth has flaws – the best method is to embrace your flaws and focus on being true to who you really are. You may you wish you were funnier, but to your friends you may be one of the funniest people that they know.

4. “I wish today was over.”

Sometimes you will do something that feels like a waste of time, but later turns out to be one of the best decisions you ever made. Do not wish your days away – you never know when the next amazing thing will happen, so throw yourself into experiencing and enjoying every day.

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5. “I need their approval.”

Unless you are at work, it is very rare that you actually need anyone’s approval to do anything. Many people throw away their life goals and dreams because it may bother their parents or partner, but this can be a terrible mistake. They may not see your point of view now, but that doesn’t mean that your point of view doesn’t exist.

6. “I want to be comfortable – being uncomfortable is scary.”

Outside of the comfort zone is where great things happen. Say goodbye to this thought by taking risks and putting yourself out there will help you to reach your full potential and to grow as a person.

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7. “I want to avoid all pain.”

It is impossible to live a life without sadness. Humans learn strength through pain and struggle, which allows us to become better versions of ourselves. If you are afraid of emotional pain, remember that it is difficult to enjoy happiness without also experiencing sadness.

8. “My thoughts aren’t that important.”

You will spend much of your life convincing others that your thoughts are important and relevant – if you don’t believe it, how will you convince others? Say what matters to you and let it all out! Say goodbye to this thought by believing in your thoughts, and remembering that they are just as important as everyone else’s.

9. “It is too hard.”

You will experience dizzying highs and crashing lows during yourself. There is nothing that you can do to avoid hard times, but you can choose to not give up and to keep fighting when they do happen. Hold your head high and remember that there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel – it is just up to you to find that light.

10. “I have lost too much to continue.”

One perspective; I have lose everything and it is awful. Another perspective; now I have nothing, I am truly free to try anything without the chance of losing everything. Life is all about your mind-set; if you choose to be pessimistic and fearful, your choices will be limited. Say goodbye to this thought by choosing to be strong and brave, opening up endless possibilities.  Good luck!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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