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Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

There is no other person you will spend more time with in your life than yourself. So you might as well love yourself wholly, thoroughly and ardently. The truth is that most of us have difficulty appreciating our gifts, ideas and personalities.

We forget that we are wonderfully made; we forget that we are unique and have the capacity to bring ideas to life that can change our world. If you don’t yet know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, get started. Here are the top 20 signs you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well and some tips for those who have not yet perfected self-love.

1. You chastise negative self-talk

When difficult times arise; when you inevitably face failure; when you are in the brink of self-discovery by stepping out of your comfort zone, the negative-self-talk monster likes to step in and remind you of your inadequacy, your lack of experience and your inability to perform.

However, because you love yourself and understand that you are capable of greatness, you automatically chastise that negative self-talk.  You understand that doubts will always arise, but you are confident that you have what it takes to succeed and the negative self-talk monster’s accusations have no firm foundation.

2. You take time to reflect

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand and embrace the importance of reflecting on your actions and life choices. Taking time to reflect on your actions empowers you to press on toward your goals with confidence and assurance that you will succeed.  Moreover, you position yourself to be a student of life, learning from experiences, failures and achievements.

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3. You have zero tolerance for B.S.

Whether it is people disrespecting your time by showing up late to meetings, or allowing liars, cheaters, and negative people in your life, when you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you will not tolerate any B.S.  Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for others, accepting excuses or being dragged down by other’s negative views on the trivialities of life.

4. You take care of your body

When you know how to love yourself, you know exactly how to treat your body. You understand a treat is not the advertised sugar rush you get from eating the entire bag of M&M’s (that rush is nothing but a mirage). Instead, you know that treating yourself to a healthy meal, a wholesome snack is the way to go. You are aware your body is a temple, one that must be cared for and loved because it’s the only one you’ve got.

5. You are no longer a slave to opinions

“What will they say?” is never a question you ask yourself. When you know how to love yourself you understand that while it is important and wise to listen to advice, other’s opinions of you do not define you.

6.You understand you are not the center of the universe

When you know how to love yourself, your ego doesn’t get in the way of humility.  You understand not everything is about you. In fact, you may even get to the point where you understand nothing is about you but instead about a higher power and the greater good. Understanding that you are not the center of the universe releases you from comparisons and unhealthy competition, instead you strive to create win-win situations for everything in your life and find fulfillment in serving and loving others.

7. You put yourself first

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that taking care of your needs is crucial in order to be successful in serving others. The two thousand-year-old principle of “love your neighbor as you love yourself” is still true today; you gotta love yourself first!

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8. You have the courage to forgive

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that by holding a grudge you will only hurt yourself. Therefore you are quick to forgive even if you don’t forget!

9. You strive to savor each moment

You know you love yourself and treat yourself well when you recognize that each moment that passes is a beautiful bow that unwraps the gift of life.  You savor each minute, understanding there is no guarantee you will see another sunrise and despite the lack of guarantees you love life anyway because it is in the scarcity of certainties that life will go on, that experiences become all the more precious.

10. You take the time to write down your goals

While everyone else goes through life without any clear vision of what they want to accomplish, you take the time to envision and write down your goals. Taking time to plan and having a “road-map” or living with a clear purpose is a strong sign that you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well. You understand you only have one life to live and are determined to make the best of it.

11. You guard your mind

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well you always guard your mind. You understand life is too short and time too precious to spend thinking or learning about non-sense. You live by this timeless advice: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

12. You refuse to speak ill of others

When we point out other’s flaws, we don’t realize that our ego is involved and we are simply projecting traits we may not like about ourselves onto others. Speaking ill of others is much easier than looking within and changing ourselves. When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand speaking ill of others is simply daft!

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13. You believe in your dreams even when everyone else doubts them

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you believe in your abilities, and, therefore, you are willing to pursue your dreams despite how illogical they may seem to others (see #5).  Virtually every invention you know of (think of airplanes, cars, and computers) seemed ridiculous to most people before they came into being.

14. You strive to improve your mind and soul

Socrates once asked, “Esteemed friend, citizen of Athens, the greatest city in the world, so outstanding in both intelligence and power, aren’t you ashamed to care so much to make all the money you can, and to advance your reputation and prestige–while for truth and wisdom and the improvement of your soul you have no care or worry?” When you know how to love yourself, you value what matters: wisdom, truth, and the improvement of your soul.

15. You know when to quit

Some people may thinking quitters never win, but when you truly love yourself and know how to treat yourself well, you can’t help but follow the old tune’s advice: “you gotta know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” You gotta know when to quit and have a fresh new start in life.

16. You live for the present

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you understand that nothing ties you to the past and nothing pulls you to the future but the present. You are aware that the present is all you have and that is quite enough to experience life fully.

17. You select your friends carefully

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right you cautiously select who you spend your time with.  After all, it is just like Jim Rohn said: “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

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18. You know how to be alone

You know that being alone is not the same as being lonely! When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, your company is all you need to be happy, all you need to live. Everything else is just a bonus!

19. You compete with yourself 

When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, you become your greatest competition. It no longer matters how the rest of the world is doing. Instead, you focus on becoming the best you can be! You focus on challenging the status quo because you know there is always room for improvement and growth.

20. You embrace adventure

Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never tried is the easiest way to find out who you really are. When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you always make sure to embrace adventure in your life.

Featured photo credit: unsplash via pixabay.com

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Sarita King

motivational warrior!

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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