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Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

There is no other person you will spend more time with in your life than yourself. So you might as well love yourself wholly, thoroughly and ardently. The truth is that most of us have difficulty appreciating our gifts, ideas and personalities.

We forget that we are wonderfully made; we forget that we are unique and have the capacity to bring ideas to life that can change our world. If you don’t yet know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, get started. Here are the top 20 signs you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well and some tips for those who have not yet perfected self-love.

1. You chastise negative self-talk

When difficult times arise; when you inevitably face failure; when you are in the brink of self-discovery by stepping out of your comfort zone, the negative-self-talk monster likes to step in and remind you of your inadequacy, your lack of experience and your inability to perform.

However, because you love yourself and understand that you are capable of greatness, you automatically chastise that negative self-talk.  You understand that doubts will always arise, but you are confident that you have what it takes to succeed and the negative self-talk monster’s accusations have no firm foundation.

2. You take time to reflect

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand and embrace the importance of reflecting on your actions and life choices. Taking time to reflect on your actions empowers you to press on toward your goals with confidence and assurance that you will succeed.  Moreover, you position yourself to be a student of life, learning from experiences, failures and achievements.

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3. You have zero tolerance for B.S.

Whether it is people disrespecting your time by showing up late to meetings, or allowing liars, cheaters, and negative people in your life, when you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you will not tolerate any B.S.  Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for others, accepting excuses or being dragged down by other’s negative views on the trivialities of life.

4. You take care of your body

When you know how to love yourself, you know exactly how to treat your body. You understand a treat is not the advertised sugar rush you get from eating the entire bag of M&M’s (that rush is nothing but a mirage). Instead, you know that treating yourself to a healthy meal, a wholesome snack is the way to go. You are aware your body is a temple, one that must be cared for and loved because it’s the only one you’ve got.

5. You are no longer a slave to opinions

“What will they say?” is never a question you ask yourself. When you know how to love yourself you understand that while it is important and wise to listen to advice, other’s opinions of you do not define you.

6.You understand you are not the center of the universe

When you know how to love yourself, your ego doesn’t get in the way of humility.  You understand not everything is about you. In fact, you may even get to the point where you understand nothing is about you but instead about a higher power and the greater good. Understanding that you are not the center of the universe releases you from comparisons and unhealthy competition, instead you strive to create win-win situations for everything in your life and find fulfillment in serving and loving others.

7. You put yourself first

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that taking care of your needs is crucial in order to be successful in serving others. The two thousand-year-old principle of “love your neighbor as you love yourself” is still true today; you gotta love yourself first!

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8. You have the courage to forgive

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that by holding a grudge you will only hurt yourself. Therefore you are quick to forgive even if you don’t forget!

9. You strive to savor each moment

You know you love yourself and treat yourself well when you recognize that each moment that passes is a beautiful bow that unwraps the gift of life.  You savor each minute, understanding there is no guarantee you will see another sunrise and despite the lack of guarantees you love life anyway because it is in the scarcity of certainties that life will go on, that experiences become all the more precious.

10. You take the time to write down your goals

While everyone else goes through life without any clear vision of what they want to accomplish, you take the time to envision and write down your goals. Taking time to plan and having a “road-map” or living with a clear purpose is a strong sign that you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well. You understand you only have one life to live and are determined to make the best of it.

11. You guard your mind

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well you always guard your mind. You understand life is too short and time too precious to spend thinking or learning about non-sense. You live by this timeless advice: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

12. You refuse to speak ill of others

When we point out other’s flaws, we don’t realize that our ego is involved and we are simply projecting traits we may not like about ourselves onto others. Speaking ill of others is much easier than looking within and changing ourselves. When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand speaking ill of others is simply daft!

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13. You believe in your dreams even when everyone else doubts them

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you believe in your abilities, and, therefore, you are willing to pursue your dreams despite how illogical they may seem to others (see #5).  Virtually every invention you know of (think of airplanes, cars, and computers) seemed ridiculous to most people before they came into being.

14. You strive to improve your mind and soul

Socrates once asked, “Esteemed friend, citizen of Athens, the greatest city in the world, so outstanding in both intelligence and power, aren’t you ashamed to care so much to make all the money you can, and to advance your reputation and prestige–while for truth and wisdom and the improvement of your soul you have no care or worry?” When you know how to love yourself, you value what matters: wisdom, truth, and the improvement of your soul.

15. You know when to quit

Some people may thinking quitters never win, but when you truly love yourself and know how to treat yourself well, you can’t help but follow the old tune’s advice: “you gotta know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” You gotta know when to quit and have a fresh new start in life.

16. You live for the present

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you understand that nothing ties you to the past and nothing pulls you to the future but the present. You are aware that the present is all you have and that is quite enough to experience life fully.

17. You select your friends carefully

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right you cautiously select who you spend your time with.  After all, it is just like Jim Rohn said: “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

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18. You know how to be alone

You know that being alone is not the same as being lonely! When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, your company is all you need to be happy, all you need to live. Everything else is just a bonus!

19. You compete with yourself 

When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, you become your greatest competition. It no longer matters how the rest of the world is doing. Instead, you focus on becoming the best you can be! You focus on challenging the status quo because you know there is always room for improvement and growth.

20. You embrace adventure

Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never tried is the easiest way to find out who you really are. When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you always make sure to embrace adventure in your life.

Featured photo credit: unsplash via pixabay.com

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Sarita King

motivational warrior!

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Last Updated on September 30, 2020

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

Learning how to live a stress free life may seem impossible, but the truth is that there are specific things you can do to begin eliminating sources of stress.

No, it doesn’t look like a made-for-television movie. No, it doesn’t look like something only people with extra time and money can do. It looks like your life—but without any self-created stress triggers.

Here are 11 ways to help you live a stress-free life:

1. Stop Overanalyzing Situations That Haven’t Happened

The first step to living a stress-free life is to stop overanalyzing imaginary scenarios. It’s easy to spend time in the world of worst-case scenarios. People tend to cultivate this world for one of two reasons.

First, because if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then it won’t surprise you when it happens. Second, if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then you can do everything in your power to control the universe so the worst case never happens.

If that’s really the world you want to cultivate, then become a professional risk assessor. If not, then ask yourself how you are benefiting from continuing to live that way.

Does it make you feel better about yourself and your life? Does it make you want to leap out of bed in the morning, eager to embrace the worst-case scenario? Does it bring you joy or fulfillment?

If your answer to these three questions is no, then stop living in the future and bring yourself back into the present.

2. Don’t Take on Other People’s Problems

The whole advantage of other people having problems is that they aren’t your problems. When you frequently take on other people’s problems, you get into the habit of enabling.

Let’s get crystal clear about the definition of enabling: enabling is the art of continuing to take responsibility for other people, thereby disallowing their personal responsibility[1].

It is of no service to other people to take on their problems because they can’t/won’t/don’t know how to fix the problem.

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It is of service to empower others to take responsibility for themselves and their lives, to encourage, teach, and motivate others to address their own problems. So stop enabling, and start empowering.

3. Get Present in the Moment

Being present in the moment involves being in your body and feeling your feelings—two things that lots of folks actually don’t know how to do.

Ask yourself these two questions: What does fear feel like in your body? What are you afraid of?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions, you probably aren’t present in the moment. Being present involves vulnerability, humility, and openness[2].

How to live a stress free life by being present

    The past and the future stop being so relevant and intriguing when you’re able to get in your body and feel your feelings. When you can do these two things, you actually want to be in the present moment.

    To get started, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and watch your stress levels drop. Then, try these tips: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying.

    4. Focus on What You Have, Not What You Don’t

    The easiest way to stop focusing on what you don’t have is by not watching TV commercials. Marketing teaches us to focus on what we don’t have, and advertising campaigns spend millions of dollars convincing us that we must have what we don’t yet have.

    Can you think of a marketing campaign that teaches you to enjoy what you already have without buying something to enhance it? Odds are you can’t.

    In a world dictated by Super Bowl commercials and Facebook ads, it takes stalwart focus to recognize what you have more than what you don’t. If you want a stress-free life now, get stalwart, and stop letting other people dictate your focus.

    In order to do this, try cultivating a gratitude practice to help refocus your mind toward what is good in your life. You can get started with this guide.

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    5. Stop Surrounding Yourself With People Who Don’t Make You Happy

    Honestly, what kind of people do you really like to be around with? People who get you, who see you clearly, who accept your flaws and all; people you can be yourself with; people who have shared interests?

    How many of those people are in your life? What characteristics do all of the other people in your life have?

    If you find that the people in your life aren’t adding anything positive, it may be time to make some changes. If you find that other relationships you have are downright toxic, start working to cut out those relationships immediately.

    6. Find a Job That Makes You Feel Good

    You don’t have to stay at a job just because it pays the bills. Most people spend more time working than sleeping. The average person spends 40 to 80 hours a week—or 2,000 to 4,000 hours a year—working. That is a significant investment!

    If your best friend or child told you that they were going to spend 4,000 hours giving their emotional, mental, and physical energy to something (or someone) that wasn’t going to value them, give anything back to them, or pay them what they were worth, what advice would you offer? Give that same advice to yourself. You won’t be stress-free unless you don’t learn this[3].

    Here’re 11 Signs That You Should Leave Your Job.

    7. Only Take on What You Can Handle

    Busyness is an addiction. Slowing down can actually be terrifying because it causes you to notice that you have feelings that you now have time to feel.

    I get it.

    By the time I slowed down, I had decades of busyness under my belt. I went into a tailspin depression because I didn’t understand how to be in the right relationship with my own emotions.

    When I finally figured out that feelings are just feelings and allowing them to express themselves is healthy and natural, I stopped experiencing withdrawal from my addiction to busyness and started figuring out the pace of life that felt best for me.

    Remarkably, I discovered that I don’t actually like being busy. What will you discover about yourself?

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    8. Let Go of Grudges and Anger

    For me, it took 20 years of adulthood to figure out that holding on to grudges and anger only hurt me. Lucky for you, though, you can benefit vicariously from my experience just by reading one short paragraph!

    No one is holding your feet to the fire, demanding that you hold on to grudges and anger. The energy of anger slowly eats away at your body, mind, and spirit, until one day you wake up more resentful than optimistic.

    One day, people no longer want to be around you because the stink of negativity is oozing out of your pores. One day, you even get tired of hearing yourself get angry. And the person or people you are angry at or holding grudges against probably haven’t been affected at all.

    Who gets hurt the most in that process of repeating negative thoughts? You do.

    Some good advice for you here: How to Let Go of Resentment and Anger

    9. Stop Reliving Your Past

    To live a stress-free life, you have to stop reliving your past. I know it seems like fun to compare everything in your present to your past, and to experience the present through past-colored glasses, but it actually isn’t.

    When you wear past-colored glasses, you can’t truly experience the present for what it is. Your boyfriend or girlfriend gets compared to a list of expectations and failed relationships rather than recognized for the unique blessing they are in your life.

    Your boss gets compared to all the bosses who came before her/him. Your friends’ ability to parent gets compared to your parents’ ability to parent.

    People, including you, deserve to stand on their own past-free merit.

    10. Don’t Complain About Things You Can’t Change

    There are always going to be people elected into office whom you don’t like, taxes that you don’t want to pay, idiot drivers who refuse to move out of the left-hand lane, and a person ahead of you in the check-out line who won’t stop chatting with the clerk.

    The great benefit of being human is that we get to experience all of what life offers us. To live stress-free is to learn to deal with this fact.

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    Dwelling on your frustration with something that can’t be changed doesn’t do anything other than drag you down. You are the only person who will ultimately decide how to respond to what is.

    11. Stop Living Through Other People’s Lives

    Someone else’s life is not your life. Your life is your life.

    What that means is you get to live your life in the way you want. You get to make ridiculous mistakes, take leaps of faith, and stuff things inside your handbag of fear just as much as the next person.

    Going through stuff is the whole great messy adventure of being human! Being alive and living life is terrifying and glorious and everything in between.

    Stop living through social media, trying to soak in all of the experiences everyone else is having. Focus, instead, on what it feels like to be you in this moment. You may find you like it.

    Final Thoughts

    An astounding thing happens when you reduce stress and anxiety, get into a relationship with your body, mind, and spirit, and just be yourself without judgment.

    Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You begin to live in each moment, and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy.

    You move fluidly, steadily, calmly, and gratefully. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born through improved mental health. And this is how you live a stress-free life.

    More Tips on How to Live a Stress-Free Life

    Featured photo credit: Drew Coffman via unsplash.com

    Reference

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