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Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well
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There is no other person you will spend more time with in your life than yourself. So you might as well love yourself wholly, thoroughly and ardently. The truth is that most of us have difficulty appreciating our gifts, ideas and personalities.

We forget that we are wonderfully made; we forget that we are unique and have the capacity to bring ideas to life that can change our world. If you don’t yet know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, get started. Here are the top 20 signs you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well and some tips for those who have not yet perfected self-love.

1. You chastise negative self-talk

When difficult times arise; when you inevitably face failure; when you are in the brink of self-discovery by stepping out of your comfort zone, the negative-self-talk monster likes to step in and remind you of your inadequacy, your lack of experience and your inability to perform.

However, because you love yourself and understand that you are capable of greatness, you automatically chastise that negative self-talk.  You understand that doubts will always arise, but you are confident that you have what it takes to succeed and the negative self-talk monster’s accusations have no firm foundation.

2. You take time to reflect

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand and embrace the importance of reflecting on your actions and life choices. Taking time to reflect on your actions empowers you to press on toward your goals with confidence and assurance that you will succeed.  Moreover, you position yourself to be a student of life, learning from experiences, failures and achievements.

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3. You have zero tolerance for B.S.

Whether it is people disrespecting your time by showing up late to meetings, or allowing liars, cheaters, and negative people in your life, when you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you will not tolerate any B.S.  Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for others, accepting excuses or being dragged down by other’s negative views on the trivialities of life.

4. You take care of your body

When you know how to love yourself, you know exactly how to treat your body. You understand a treat is not the advertised sugar rush you get from eating the entire bag of M&M’s (that rush is nothing but a mirage). Instead, you know that treating yourself to a healthy meal, a wholesome snack is the way to go. You are aware your body is a temple, one that must be cared for and loved because it’s the only one you’ve got.

5. You are no longer a slave to opinions

“What will they say?” is never a question you ask yourself. When you know how to love yourself you understand that while it is important and wise to listen to advice, other’s opinions of you do not define you.

6.You understand you are not the center of the universe

When you know how to love yourself, your ego doesn’t get in the way of humility.  You understand not everything is about you. In fact, you may even get to the point where you understand nothing is about you but instead about a higher power and the greater good. Understanding that you are not the center of the universe releases you from comparisons and unhealthy competition, instead you strive to create win-win situations for everything in your life and find fulfillment in serving and loving others.

7. You put yourself first

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that taking care of your needs is crucial in order to be successful in serving others. The two thousand-year-old principle of “love your neighbor as you love yourself” is still true today; you gotta love yourself first!

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8. You have the courage to forgive

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that by holding a grudge you will only hurt yourself. Therefore you are quick to forgive even if you don’t forget!

9. You strive to savor each moment

You know you love yourself and treat yourself well when you recognize that each moment that passes is a beautiful bow that unwraps the gift of life.  You savor each minute, understanding there is no guarantee you will see another sunrise and despite the lack of guarantees you love life anyway because it is in the scarcity of certainties that life will go on, that experiences become all the more precious.

10. You take the time to write down your goals

While everyone else goes through life without any clear vision of what they want to accomplish, you take the time to envision and write down your goals. Taking time to plan and having a “road-map” or living with a clear purpose is a strong sign that you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well. You understand you only have one life to live and are determined to make the best of it.

11. You guard your mind

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well you always guard your mind. You understand life is too short and time too precious to spend thinking or learning about non-sense. You live by this timeless advice: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

12. You refuse to speak ill of others

When we point out other’s flaws, we don’t realize that our ego is involved and we are simply projecting traits we may not like about ourselves onto others. Speaking ill of others is much easier than looking within and changing ourselves. When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand speaking ill of others is simply daft!

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13. You believe in your dreams even when everyone else doubts them

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you believe in your abilities, and, therefore, you are willing to pursue your dreams despite how illogical they may seem to others (see #5).  Virtually every invention you know of (think of airplanes, cars, and computers) seemed ridiculous to most people before they came into being.

14. You strive to improve your mind and soul

Socrates once asked, “Esteemed friend, citizen of Athens, the greatest city in the world, so outstanding in both intelligence and power, aren’t you ashamed to care so much to make all the money you can, and to advance your reputation and prestige–while for truth and wisdom and the improvement of your soul you have no care or worry?” When you know how to love yourself, you value what matters: wisdom, truth, and the improvement of your soul.

15. You know when to quit

Some people may thinking quitters never win, but when you truly love yourself and know how to treat yourself well, you can’t help but follow the old tune’s advice: “you gotta know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” You gotta know when to quit and have a fresh new start in life.

16. You live for the present

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you understand that nothing ties you to the past and nothing pulls you to the future but the present. You are aware that the present is all you have and that is quite enough to experience life fully.

17. You select your friends carefully

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right you cautiously select who you spend your time with.  After all, it is just like Jim Rohn said: “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

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18. You know how to be alone

You know that being alone is not the same as being lonely! When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, your company is all you need to be happy, all you need to live. Everything else is just a bonus!

19. You compete with yourself 

When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, you become your greatest competition. It no longer matters how the rest of the world is doing. Instead, you focus on becoming the best you can be! You focus on challenging the status quo because you know there is always room for improvement and growth.

20. You embrace adventure

Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never tried is the easiest way to find out who you really are. When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you always make sure to embrace adventure in your life.

Featured photo credit: unsplash via pixabay.com

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Sarita King

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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