Advertising
Advertising

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

There is no other person you will spend more time with in your life than yourself. So you might as well love yourself wholly, thoroughly and ardently. The truth is that most of us have difficulty appreciating our gifts, ideas and personalities.

We forget that we are wonderfully made; we forget that we are unique and have the capacity to bring ideas to life that can change our world. If you don’t yet know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, get started. Here are the top 20 signs you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well and some tips for those who have not yet perfected self-love.

1. You chastise negative self-talk

When difficult times arise; when you inevitably face failure; when you are in the brink of self-discovery by stepping out of your comfort zone, the negative-self-talk monster likes to step in and remind you of your inadequacy, your lack of experience and your inability to perform.

However, because you love yourself and understand that you are capable of greatness, you automatically chastise that negative self-talk.  You understand that doubts will always arise, but you are confident that you have what it takes to succeed and the negative self-talk monster’s accusations have no firm foundation.

2. You take time to reflect

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand and embrace the importance of reflecting on your actions and life choices. Taking time to reflect on your actions empowers you to press on toward your goals with confidence and assurance that you will succeed.  Moreover, you position yourself to be a student of life, learning from experiences, failures and achievements.

Advertising

3. You have zero tolerance for B.S.

Whether it is people disrespecting your time by showing up late to meetings, or allowing liars, cheaters, and negative people in your life, when you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you will not tolerate any B.S.  Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for others, accepting excuses or being dragged down by other’s negative views on the trivialities of life.

4. You take care of your body

When you know how to love yourself, you know exactly how to treat your body. You understand a treat is not the advertised sugar rush you get from eating the entire bag of M&M’s (that rush is nothing but a mirage). Instead, you know that treating yourself to a healthy meal, a wholesome snack is the way to go. You are aware your body is a temple, one that must be cared for and loved because it’s the only one you’ve got.

5. You are no longer a slave to opinions

“What will they say?” is never a question you ask yourself. When you know how to love yourself you understand that while it is important and wise to listen to advice, other’s opinions of you do not define you.

6.You understand you are not the center of the universe

When you know how to love yourself, your ego doesn’t get in the way of humility.  You understand not everything is about you. In fact, you may even get to the point where you understand nothing is about you but instead about a higher power and the greater good. Understanding that you are not the center of the universe releases you from comparisons and unhealthy competition, instead you strive to create win-win situations for everything in your life and find fulfillment in serving and loving others.

7. You put yourself first

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that taking care of your needs is crucial in order to be successful in serving others. The two thousand-year-old principle of “love your neighbor as you love yourself” is still true today; you gotta love yourself first!

Advertising

8. You have the courage to forgive

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand that by holding a grudge you will only hurt yourself. Therefore you are quick to forgive even if you don’t forget!

9. You strive to savor each moment

You know you love yourself and treat yourself well when you recognize that each moment that passes is a beautiful bow that unwraps the gift of life.  You savor each minute, understanding there is no guarantee you will see another sunrise and despite the lack of guarantees you love life anyway because it is in the scarcity of certainties that life will go on, that experiences become all the more precious.

10. You take the time to write down your goals

While everyone else goes through life without any clear vision of what they want to accomplish, you take the time to envision and write down your goals. Taking time to plan and having a “road-map” or living with a clear purpose is a strong sign that you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well. You understand you only have one life to live and are determined to make the best of it.

11. You guard your mind

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well you always guard your mind. You understand life is too short and time too precious to spend thinking or learning about non-sense. You live by this timeless advice: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

12. You refuse to speak ill of others

When we point out other’s flaws, we don’t realize that our ego is involved and we are simply projecting traits we may not like about ourselves onto others. Speaking ill of others is much easier than looking within and changing ourselves. When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you understand speaking ill of others is simply daft!

Advertising

13. You believe in your dreams even when everyone else doubts them

When you know how to love yourself and treat yourself well, you believe in your abilities, and, therefore, you are willing to pursue your dreams despite how illogical they may seem to others (see #5).  Virtually every invention you know of (think of airplanes, cars, and computers) seemed ridiculous to most people before they came into being.

14. You strive to improve your mind and soul

Socrates once asked, “Esteemed friend, citizen of Athens, the greatest city in the world, so outstanding in both intelligence and power, aren’t you ashamed to care so much to make all the money you can, and to advance your reputation and prestige–while for truth and wisdom and the improvement of your soul you have no care or worry?” When you know how to love yourself, you value what matters: wisdom, truth, and the improvement of your soul.

15. You know when to quit

Some people may thinking quitters never win, but when you truly love yourself and know how to treat yourself well, you can’t help but follow the old tune’s advice: “you gotta know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” You gotta know when to quit and have a fresh new start in life.

16. You live for the present

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you understand that nothing ties you to the past and nothing pulls you to the future but the present. You are aware that the present is all you have and that is quite enough to experience life fully.

17. You select your friends carefully

When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right you cautiously select who you spend your time with.  After all, it is just like Jim Rohn said: “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

Advertising

18. You know how to be alone

You know that being alone is not the same as being lonely! When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, your company is all you need to be happy, all you need to live. Everything else is just a bonus!

19. You compete with yourself 

When you love yourself and know how to treat yourself right, you become your greatest competition. It no longer matters how the rest of the world is doing. Instead, you focus on becoming the best you can be! You focus on challenging the status quo because you know there is always room for improvement and growth.

20. You embrace adventure

Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you’ve never tried is the easiest way to find out who you really are. When you love yourself and you know how to treat yourself right, you always make sure to embrace adventure in your life.

Featured photo credit: unsplash via pixabay.com

More by this author

Sarita King

motivational warrior!

10 Signs You Are An Alpha Woman 10 Things You Will Learn from Dating an Independent Woman 15 Signs You’re Doing Well In Life Even Though You Don’t Think So 15 Differences Between Beautiful people and Truly Beautiful people 15 Things Matter to Life that People Always Forget

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next