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8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

8 Desirable Dating Qualities Of A Bass Player

It requires tremendous amount of patience and effort to learn an instrument. However, it takes more than just countless hours of practice and rehearsals to perform on stage with fellow members. It requires a deeply rooted passion that urges the musician to express their emotions with every note.

A shared belief many accept is that each and every instrument in the band supplements the music. That said, many choose to eye the front runners, typically the lead singer or the guitarist for their noticeable sounds, leaving the bass player forgotten without compliments. The bass player might be overlooked and pushed aside in the back, yet they have the most crucial role in the band, where everyone relies on the rhythm and the harmony.

Bass players are quite subtle on stage. Upon observing their consistent collaboration within the band, you will notice how they sacrifice the spotlight for the music. This innate trait can bring more than just good look or charm to relationships.

Here are the 8 qualities that make bass players desirable for those seeking a promising partner.

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1. They Love to be Connected

Bass players – unless given a moment to strike a solo – are known as the support for other instruments. Rarely do we recognize the bass notes before anything else. If the bass is subtle, that means they are doing their part correctly. However, without other instruments, bass players might come off as repetitive. It wouldn’t be as interesting to hear a song with only bass notes, unlike the guitar or the piano being more delightful even if played alone.

Bass players understand the significance of stability and collaboration. This quality in a relationship is a must when reaching to secure happiness and a wealthy collaboration. They love to acknowledge your presence and allow mutual feedback through connection. If you show you admire them, they would surely do the same.

2. They Are Content Regardless of the Lack of Attention

Bass players are generally unrecognized within our culture and media. Very few notable representations of bass players are available that praise them. However, just because one is on stage and musically talented, there is no rule that they have to stand out and exaggerate, only to come off pretentious. Bass players are there for a reason: to support the band. They are passionate about the bigger picture.

As long as there is a positive cooperation, they are satisfied. Of course, this assumes there is a mutual respect. Bass players have the patience and the solitude, where they have subdued the feeling of wanting more. You won’t be disappointed when dating a bass player because they are comfortable with what they have.

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3. They are Passively Creative

Who doesn’t love to show their creative achievements? However, being too bombastic can be tiring. Submerged in a group where bass is the lowest tone, it takes keen awareness with the right time and with appropriate timing to show themselves. Their effort to explore while being tactful is like discovering an oasis at the eleventh hour. This quality can bring many surprises in relationships that leave memorable impressions on a partner. Overall, bass players might appear ordinary, but they will unexpectedly touch your feeling in an artistic manner.

4. They are Considerate

“Thank you, my friends, for finally remembering my phone number.” – John Paul Jones, bassist for Led Zeppelin at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 1995

Bass player will encounter the typical never dying jokes and the stereotypes of being the one that doesn’t have showmanship, the quiet one, the instrument that can’t be heard, or the member that seems to be forgotten or rather uninterested.

Pride leads toward avenues of discourse, arguments, and bitter feelings. Bass players know self-interest will only preclude cooperation among members. There is no doubt they would like more attention, everyone loves to be admired, but their kind awareness is all about security — even if they are poorly represented. This is a quality of modesty that is a key to a healthy and solid relationship. You wouldn’t have to worry about their greed to fame because as long as you show admiration, they will hit the right spot.

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5. They are Multi-Instrumentalist

Many bass players that have been recognized by the public are multi-instrumentalist. First of all, this shouldn’t be of a surprise, many bass players are musically talented when it comes to technicality. This talent comes to those that are dedicated and disciplined. Bass guitar is just as difficult as any other instruments. Being able to make transitions is a trait for those that are adventurous to get a feel for each instrument’s potential.

A partner that isn’t afraid to seek and explore in a relationship can always find significant ways to improve relationships. Also, if you’re only attracted to someone playing a guitar and singing, don’t exclude bass players. Once they drop the bass — it’s on!

6. They Tune in with People

By tuning, other than being in pitch and keeping the rhythm, bass players are the ears and the eyes of the band. They know the importance of reciprocity. Their quality of having fine communication is rare in everyday friction with strangers. People talk about having great chemistry with others, but ultimately it is being able to listen and compliment the interest of others that matters most.

If relationships are spiraling down, you need someone that can seize the moment and understand. Bass players go through musical difference with people. Honestly, that is their hardest gig to survive. It can only toughen their social skills. Everyone will have issues with individuals at some point in their lives, but bass players have tricks and methods to repair rapports that not everyone has. They know how to console and tidy you up.

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7. They are the Artists of Adaptation

What more can you want from a partner who enjoys the thrill of the moment and has enthusiasm, while maintaining gentleness. Bass players know how to excite the crowd and work from the energy. Other band-mates can jump up and down, head-bang, play with the crowds, throw drinks at the crowds, and (if financially capable) they can even smash their instruments.

However, every band needs a balance to appeal to the majority, and the bass player’s quiet presence preserves the mellow with a class act. They know how to express excitement and when it comes to romantic flattery, they can make a ballad out of you.

8. They Have Great Hands for Pleasing

Bass players are known for having incredible hands. Don’t confuse yourself of thinking of big hands, it’s how they’re used. There are plenty of bass players with smaller hands, but are just as capable to amaze you with what they can offer. Have you ever felt a rush of sensation from being touched by amazing hands? Let the bass player play you away.

Featured photo credit: Patrick Wright via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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