To My Old Friend,
I know that you must be wondering what happened to me after all of these years. Or, maybe I became one of your more far-distant memories, the kind of memory you can’t recall on your own because you don’t want to. The kind of memory that sneaks up on you in the middle of the day when you are at the mall or when you’re trying to decide if you should dump the guy your with and have no one to call. I hope you have new friends that are better able to take my place. I made mistakes with you that I will regret forever.
While I can’t unwind time and correct those choices, I can send you this letter as a way of completing the circle, a circle that represents a friendship that, to this day, serves as a template for every single one of my friendships I’ve had since you.
No one since you can compare. No one since you have been as committed as you were to me and to my plans for the future. Instead of embracing your help and your advice, I battled you and feared you. I couldn’t accept your advice because I didn’t really believe in myself. You believed in me when I couldn’t. I abandoned you that one summer. I turned my back on you because I couldn’t face the hard work I would need to do in order to get my life back together. Up until then, you encouraged me to fight the good fight and offered to be my partner on my journey toward self-awareness. I wasn’t ready. I felt I had to go that path alone and it has been a lonely one.
Today, I have fought tooth and nail to make progress in what I now know is my purpose. I couldn’t have done that without the seed you planted with me very early on. I will forever be grateful for the compass you let me borrow so long ago. Without you really knowing, I have taken you along with me every step of the way. I miss you. I miss your laughter and the nights where it was just you, me, and the trees. I will never forget the time you came to me for advice. The night when you had nowhere to go. I didn’t either. I remember feeling like I didn’t want to burden you and those gorgeous wings of yours. I set you free from me.
Please know that I would give anything to correct my damage with you and that I am genuinely in a better place to appreciate all that you have to offer a girl like me. I can do that because I believe in myself now and I finally believe that I am worthy of a friendship like the one we had once upon a time. My door is always open to you, for you, in whatever way you might ever need me.
Love, Cherry Tigris
I hope this letter touches you in much the same way I hope it will touch my dearest friend. No matter what, we all impact each other’s lives in a vast myriad of ways. We all own our own part of responsibility in the holding on and letting go necessary in our complicated lives. Sometimes, there is no identifiable reason for why we let go. I have spent a lifetime learning to not take these things too personally.
The quality of our character is dependent on our ability to come back to the table when an apology needs to be made. Or, maybe we just miss someone, and that special someone isn’t feeling so special about themselves anymore. When we summon the courage to reach out and make amends, only positive things can be gained out of the exchange. It is my sincere hope that a few of you will touch someone else’s lives today by writing your own unique love letter to a long-lost friend.
Featured photo credit: Paranamir via flickr.com
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