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30 Simple Things You Don’t Realize You Do That Impress Everyone Around You

30 Simple Things You Don’t Realize You Do That Impress Everyone Around You

One the biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to impress someone is that they assume people only pay attention to the important or “big” things they do. But the reality is that the little things are what matter most. It’s the little things we do or don’t do every day that shape us in to who we are. The little things determine how we respond when big things come in to our lives.

The kind of image you present to the world is determined by your actions, comments, attitude, behavior and even appearance. These things can be noticed within the first few seconds of meeting someone. So, how do you let people know who you really are? How do you impress everyone around you without big gestures or a lot of time? These 30 things might be simple, but they have a big impact. Their effects are lasting. People will remember the little things you do and that can make the difference you’re looking for.

1. Dress the part

Your appearance is the thing people see first. They look at your clothes, hair, shoes, etc. They make assumptions about you before you even open your mouth. If you want to impress people, dress for the occasion. Take time to get ready in the morning.

2. Be on time

If you’re late for something, you’re giving someone the opportunity to judge you without you even being there. If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, then be there at that time. Waiting for someone when they should already be there is frustrating and annoying.

3. Don’t break your promises

There are too many people out there making promises they know they can’t keep. They promise something because it makes the other person feel better in that moment. The problem with that is that down the road, when you don’t follow through, the comfort that person felt turns into discouragement, frustration and even anger. If you can’t keep a promise, don’t make it. If you do make a promise, do everything you can to keep it.

4. Respect others

This includes your elders, minors, co-workers, family members, etc. This can be hard when you have to be around someone who has differing opinions than you, or who acts in a way you don’t approve of. But you can still be civil. If you look for attributes you respect in people, you will find them.

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5. Be involved

If you support going green, then go green in your life. If you support your local government, then attend community meetings. Be a part of the things that matter to you.

6. Say, “Please,” and, “Thank you,” often

These are small words, but they go a long way. Expressing your gratitude to people, even for the smallest acts of kindness, shows that you see the good in people; it shows that you pay attention to the things people around you are doing and saying.

7. Smile often

Smiles are contagious. If a stranger walks past you at the store and smiles, it is a natural response to smile back. Seeing someone smile can remind others that there are things to be grateful for, that life is fun and exciting.

8. Don’t be constantly using your phone

When you are with someone, be with them. Phones are an amazing piece of technology. But they are also a distraction. Use your phone when it’s appropriate. You don’t need it out every second of every day.

9. Be faithful to your partner

We hear story after story about divorces and infidelity. It’s everywhere. By being honest and true with your partner, you are showing that you know where your priorities are. You understand what it means to be in a healthy relationship.

10. Support your children

Take time to be involved in your kids’ lives. Know what they’re interested in. Go their games, recitals, competitions, parent-teacher conferences, etc. Listen when they talk to you. Be the kind of parent they know they can go to when they have questions.

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11. Personal hygiene isn’t an option, it’s a requirement

Have breath mints handy. Wear deodorant. Brush your teeth. Wear clean clothes. These are things that should be common sense, but some people really struggle with them. Talking to someone with bad breath is gross. It’s distracting. All you can think about is that you want to give them a mint. Take care of your personal hygiene and people will be more focused on what you’re saying and doing instead of how you smell.

12. Speak clearly and make eye contact

Let the person you’re talking to know that you are engaged in the conversation and that you care about what you’re discussing. Don’t mumble or look around, keep your focus on them.

13. Don’t chew gum

This can depend on the type of situation you’re in. If you’re with family hanging out or with close friends at the movies, gum is fine. But in a professional situation, gum is distracting.

14. Use humor

This can lighten the mood and bring people down from a tense state. Just make sure you’re using this at appropriate times.

15. Greet people with a handshake or hug

Determine what type of situation you’re in. You probably don’t want to go in to an interview and hug your potential boss, but you should offer them a firm handshake. With close friends and family members a hug shows a level of intimacy. It shows that you love and care about them and gives you a way to physically express that.

16. Be true to yourself

Know what you want out of life and do everything you can to achieve it.

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17. Listen to others

When someone is talking to you, listen to what they are saying. Don’t be thinking of a response while they are still talking.

18. Perform acts of kindness

Open the door for someone, collect your neighbor’s mail when they go out town, make dinner for someone who just had a baby.

19. Be organized

Have a schedule and know what you have going on. Know where things are in your house, at work, in your car, etc.

20. Compliment people

Look for the good in people around you and take the time to let them know you noticed. Compliment them on their clothes, their work, their attitude, anything you can think of.

21. Share knowledge and information with others

When you have a skill or talent, share it. Teach others and share what you know and have learned.

22. Be positive and focus on the good

This can be hard when times are tough, but it’s possible. Look for the solution instead of focusing on the problem. Stay positive.

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23. Help others

Help when and where you can. In most cases, chances to serve aren’t always at the most opportune times, but sacrificing your time to help someone in need says a lot about you.

24. Keep a clean car

Take your car through the car wash every so often. Clean out the inside. Don’t let garbage pile up. You never know when you’re going to have to give someone a ride.

25. Care about people

Don’t build up a wall to “protect” your feelings. Let yourself feel, let yourself care for people.

26. Don’t take offense

Things will be said and people will do things, purposefully or accidentally, that could hurt you. You can choose to be offended or to move past it.

27. Own up to your mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it, own up to it, do what you can to fix it and move on.

28. Take advantage of experiences life has to offer

If you get the opportunity to go somewhere new, learn a new talent or try something new, do it! Enjoy life.

29. Know what’s going on in the world

Be up to date on recent news, both local and global. Be informed.

30.  Travel

The world is a big place. Take the time to go out and meet new people, learn new cultures and make new memories.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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