Advertising
Advertising

15 Beliefs Happy Couples Hold

15 Beliefs Happy Couples Hold

We’ve all known that one couple that seems to have it all: the couple that still looks at each other with a sparkle in their eyes, and who you can tell are truly happy together. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years. Every time my grandma leaves the room my grandpa comments to me about how lucky he is to have her. Their happiness is what I strive for in my relationship. Any long lasting happy couple has been through thick and thin together, and has outlasted the hard times. Having a happy and working relationship doesn’t come without effort. These 15 beliefs of happy couples don’t just apply to marriage. It applies to any romantic relationship that’s worth fighting for.

1. They believe that communication is key

Communication is hard work, but it is an essential part of any relationship. When you are able to communicate openly and effectively with your significant other it leads to growth in your relationship. Keeping emotions or concerns bottled up because you haven’t learned how to communicate with each other will only damage the relationship. Communication is the first step to a lasting relationship.

2. They believe it’s good for their partner to change

Life is all about changes, so why would you expect your partner to stay the same? Change is good for a relationship, it helps you grow together. Don’t be afraid if you see your partner changing, instead accept and learn with the changes. Happy couples grow stronger through personal changes. Something that once made your partner mad, might one day make them smile, and that’s just how life goes. So roll with the changes, don’t turn away from them.

Advertising

3. We’re only human. Mistakes happen, and so do arguments

Neither one of you is perfect, and mistakes are going to happen. Happy couples understand that, and they know there’s a difference between having an argument about it, and having a fight about it. Arguments are normal in any relationship, but it’s the way the arguments are handled that matters. Happy couples talk about the problem instead of placing blame, intentionally trying to hurt the other person, or being vengeful.

4. Honesty is the best policy

We’ve all heard this one before – but it’s the glue to any long term relationship. There’s no good reason to hide something from your partner. Being open and honest will bring you closer as a couple. Lying and keeping secrets from them will only tear you apart. Plus, you should be able to tell your partner anything without them judging you. When something goes wrong, just stick to the truth.

5. They are best friends

A study done by the National Bureau of Economic Research, found that one of the keys to a happy marriage is having your best friend as your spouse. Happy couples share everything with each other, they spend a lot of time together, and they truly enjoy each others’ company.

Advertising

6. They believe in having fun together

Relationships might be a constant work in progress, but what’s the point if you can’t have fun? Happy couples believe in the importance of having fun together. Life is too serious to not stop and have some fun together. Make sure to spend some time laughing and trying new things together. Make memories together that you will be happy to look back on later.

7. They believe in the importance of sex

Sex is important to a happy relationship. Happy couples don’t withhold physical attention from each other, especially as a punishment. They talk about sex openly with each other and without criticism from the other. Happy couples have sex often and regularly, and both people participate equally. No matter how busy your life becomes, there’s always time for sex.

8. They believe in putting each other first

Friends, family, work, school, children, sports, so on and so forth. There can be so many things that take up our day. No matter how many things are going on in their lives, happy couples always put each other first. They don’t neglect each other because something else comes up. They make time for each other, and do little things to show the other how much they are appreciated.

Advertising

9. They believe in alone time

Happy couples enjoy spending time together. However they know the importance of having some alone time as well. Alone time can help keep you sane, and help keep your relationship strong. Reflection is an important aspect of personal growth, and you can’t reflect on yourself if you are constantly with someone else.

10. They believe in being realistic and living INSIDE their means

Money is one of the most common things couples argue about. This is especially true if one person is less realistic about their money situation. Being realistic and having the ability to live inside of their means is another way happy couples have lasting relationships. Living outside of your means can cause unnecessary stress in the relationship, so be open and communicate with each other about money and spending habits.

11. They share the same values

Whether it’s the importance of family, career, ambition, or something else, happy couples share similar goals and values in life. A couple can be of different religious backgrounds or cultural backgrounds and still have a happy relationship; as long as they have the same goals and values. If both individuals believe in the same thing it will help make the relationship stronger. When couples have different values in life, it can cause a divide. Happy couples push each other to reach their goals, while staying in line with their values.

Advertising

12. They respect each other

Respect is something that everyone strives for in life, and often times you have to earn it. Happy couples have a mutual respect for each other. This isn’t because they believe in everything each other says, but rather they have a love and understanding of the other person that is held above all else. They respect each other enough to agree to disagree on some issues, and there isn’t any hostility left over. If you don’t respect each other, then you’re in for a struggle.

13. They support each other

Happy couples know that when shit hits the fan, the other person will be there for them. They support each other to follow their dreams and believe wholeheartedly in their partner’s abilities. When things get rocky, or something devastating happens, there’s no question – their partner will be there for them. They can count on each other to be the support they need to get through anything.

14. They believe in the importance of having your own life

Happy couples aren’t attached at the hip. They spend a lot of time together because they want to, but they also have their own life. One person’s passions or hobbies may be extremely different than the others, and that’s okay. It’s those differences that made you fall in love with them, and are what keeps you amazed by them. Happy couples support the differences they have. Having your own life keeps you interesting to your partner.

15. They believe that a happy relationship takes work

A worthwhile relationship isn’t always sunshine and roses. It takes work to make a relationship last. Any happy couple understands that at times their partner is going to annoy them, anger them, disappoint them, and frustrate them. People make mistakes and your partner is only human. It’s your ability to get past those feelings and communicate openly and honestly that will lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship. Happy couples cherish each other and work through the hard times – they don’t just give up.

Featured photo credit: happy couple via i.ytimg.com

More by this author

This List of Group Halloween Costume Ideas Will Blow Your Mind You’ve Been Tolerating These 20 Stressful Things Too Many times, Even Though You Don’t Feel like You Are 10 Things To Understand When You Love Someone From A Broken Family 15 Beliefs Happy Couples Hold 20 Things You Should Insist on No Matter What People Say

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next