10 Tricks To Cheat Cold Weather
Sometimes, no amount of hand rubbing can coax the blood back into your fingertips (especially when you’ve been holding snow in your hands—do not imitate the above photograph, ladies and gents.) We know all too well how awful another delayed train can be when you’ve left your gloves at home. The best solution might be to leave the country (I hear Thailand’s pretty nice at the moment) but if you have jobs and responsibilities that still exist throughout winter, then I guess you’ll just have to settle for these simple anti-cold measures instead.
There’s nothing like a good Marshmallow Man look to keep the chill at bay (and see how cuddly you are now?). Throw on your vest, t-shirt, long-sleeved shirt, jumper, scarf, coat, gloves, hat, ear muffs, balaclava—do not skip a step or you will regret it.
2. Walk quickly
We all fear that dreaded moment when we have to leave the cozy indoors. Our solution? Walk as fast as you can without breaking into a run and you’ll soon be sweating through those layers, lads and ladies.
3. Drink hot drinks
Scientifically, I hear, hot drinks are actually meant to cool us down. But psychologically, who doesn’t hug a warm takeaway cup between their hands, sip tentatively, and feel instantly warmer?
4. Find a winter partner
Central heating is a costly expense, folks, so don’t be leaving it on all night. Find a winter more-than-buddy to keep you warm instead—maybe you’ll even keep them over the summer if they’re good. And, hey, maybe they’ll offer other pluses too, like companionship, comfort, the odd massage—if you like that sort of thing.
5. Double up
This goes beyond layering—call it layering 2.0. This means not just one pair of socks, boys and girls—try wearing at least two pairs. Don’t just wear jeans, put on some tights or leggings underneath. No one will ever notice—your secrets are safe with us.
I’m not talking about wifi, you techfiles. I am talking about hot spots: spots that are hot, areas that are warmer than others. These can include the rare patch of sunlight on a train platform, the perimeter of a circle of youths (penguin style, if you don’t mind creepily lurking) or the table in Starbucks that isn’t anywhere near the door. Spot the hot, people.
7. Don’t think about it
It’s always warmer when you’re chatting, solving a math problem, or choreographing a new dance routine to Adele in your head. Think about anything else. Distract yourself with your vivid imagination from the fact that your limbs have lost all circulation and may fall off at any moment and maybe you can trick your body into not developing frost bite.
8. Beer jacket
We’re not condoning Baileys coffee with breakfast, before you all get ahead of yourselves, but if the bar’s full and you’re standing outside, don’t fear, the beer will keep you warm (if you drink enough of it).
9. The final type of layer…
It’s okay to develop an extra layer over the winter, guys. We are all friends here. It’s grey and cold and miserable, so it’s natural that things like cake happen more. Be healthy but embrace a little insulation—it’s nature’s answer to the frozen condensation on your windows.
10. Spot jog
Have you ever seen a shameless I-need-the-toilet dance in a busy public place? Said dancer probably did not need the toilet but was executing an on-the-spot warm-up jog. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. Let’s face it, folks, nothing looks more ridiculous than that pinched, red-faced, goose-flesh look, so what harm could a bit of movement do, really? Fight the freeze, friends.
Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com
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