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My Secret for Overcoming Resistance and Transforming My Life
How you feel about your life right now is likely going to be how you will feel about it until your time on earth is over, unless: you either have a near death experience or you go through a time that’s dramatic enough to shock you into truly wanting to transform your life.How you feel about your life right now is likely going to be how you will feel about it until your time on earth is over, unless: you either have a near death experience or you go through a time that’s dramatic enough to shock you into truly wanting to transform your life.
Most of the 500 or more entrepreneurs (male, female and of all ages) who have received transformational coaching from me, and subsequently seen their life transform to new heights, expressed that, before then, no matter how hard they worked to break out of it, they had a frustrating sense of ‘sameness’ about their life.
What It Takes to Transform Your Life
One client I coached recently was a property investor. He’d built up his business over 10 years to enable him to travel across South America.
Problem was, he always had something getting in the way that he had to handle to run the business. It was exhausting for him.
In receiving coaching from me he became aware of an event that happened when he was 7 years old. He was meeting his extended family in a restaurant in India for the first time. His mother guided him into the communal toilets and he asked, “Mom, where is the toilet?”
She then pointed at the cubicles that had no doors, holes in the ground instead of toilets and people taking their turn while in full view of everyone else and said, “That is the toilet!”
At the time he became scared and realized he was thinking, “I’m not safe.” And this was the way he interpreted the world. From that moment onwards the world was ‘I’m not safe’.
Through his life and times in business, this caused him to choose ‘safety’ above all. As a result, he created stable investment opportunities that grew over 10 years and enabled him to own six large properties, but the problem was that this very interpretation (which became a way of being) was now the very thing that was also holding him back from growing his business or enjoying the fruits of his labour.
Once he awakened to see this interpretation, he got that he didn’t have to be ‘I’m not safe’ any longer and micromanage everything. With further coaching, he began answering the question, “What would it actually take for me to create my business to enable me to travel to South America?” So he systemized each business process. As a result, within a few months of the first session, he packed his bags and left to fulfil his dream ambition (that he’d had for over 10 years) of travelling across South America.
He’s since posted photographs of this trip on Facebook, and on returning to the UK, left again a few weeks later to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Now he is back in the UK and looking at travelling across Japan. He’s since also managed to expand his business and is on track for greater profits than ever before from rental income. His life has transformed completely.
So what will it take for you to overcome your resistance to doing the deeper work? To see what interpretations you’ve made about yourself and the world around you? Also to see how they may be holding you back from taking those important actions?
If you want to access a new level of satisfaction through your work, elevate the quality of your life and find a deeper sense of freedom, doing this deeper transformational work is the only way.
Why the Resistance Is So Strong
You and any other entrepreneur out there are only going to succeed when you change how you are ‘being’, as this is where the actions that you take arise from. But why is it so difficult to change how we are being and in turn change the actions we take? The reason is that when we set out to realize an ambition, we are faced with a period of ‘latency’ before the results show.
In this period of latency we are faced with the unknown, and the reptilian part of our brain is wired to ensure that we never fail again. So it viciously reminds us of all the things we’ve failed at and ensures that we don’t take actions that may result in us experiencing those failures again. The result is, the resistance to change dominates us, we remain in (seemingly chosen) procrastination and we subconsciously avoid doing the deeper inner transformational work.
This then results in many (and possibly you) spinning in a sense of ‘sameness’.
So how are we to conquer this? Firstly understand that your brain is wired to predominantly survive. Understand that your brain will consistently avoid you ever taking actions that could cause you to experience more moments of failure again.
Once you grasp this, you are then aware that your attention is usually on what could go wrong rather than on a new, possible and inspirational future.
Risk assessment need not be cast aside completely; however, we cannot have this as the primary driver because it’s a state of survival which causes our creative mind to shut down.
Once this happens, most people report entering a ‘Groundhog Day’ sensation- that every day feels the same and they can’t see a way out. Once we take our mind off ‘surviving’ and instead begin to practise seeing the tiny successes that we have every day, we then move from a state of survival and into a state of ‘creation’. This is a relaxed state of being that allows us to see opportunity, to think innovatively and become inspired as we begin to envision a whole new and inspirational future.
If you commit to this way of thinking, you’ll shift your mindset from one of looking for what you can ‘survive’ to one of looking for opportunities to ‘create’. Once you practise this, you’ll begin to notice the incremental successes every day. This will cause you to feel inspired about yourself and your abilities; you’ll then find it much easier to take those important actions and will begin awakening yourself to the wonders of what you are truly capable of again.
5 Transformational Steps
Here are 5 easy to follow yet powerfully transformational steps you can take to begin to break through the resistance required to transform your life.
1. Imagine Living the Dream
Imagine you took every action you knew to take and that you made the most of every single opportunity that came your way and that you are now three years from today. Write (or type) a short story of living through a perfect ‘average’ day if you were ‘living the dream’.
Include where you wake up? Who with? What car do you drive? How many clients do you work with? How much are you earning? How do your clients feel receiving your products or services? What do you do in the afternoons? What do you do for fun? How do the people you know celebrate you? As you write this down, forget the world and let go, and have fun with it.
2. Bedtime Routine
Place this written piece of text next to your bed (possibly print and laminate it) and read it EVERY night before you go to sleep and every morning before you rise up out of bed.
You can also read more about bedtime routine here: Poor Sleep Quality Comes from All the Things You Do Since Morning
3. Powerful Action
In your diary, write down the three very most important actions that you are going to complete this week and when to begin powerfully moving you along your path to realizing this dream lifestyle.
4. Keep the Dream Alive
As you write these actions down, keep ‘alive’ the sensations you felt about what it will be like when you master this dream lifestyle and why you’re taking these actions each week. You MUST keep the reason ‘why’ you do what you do every day alive or you will lose motivation and go back to a sense of ‘sameness’ again.
Read more to find out how to stay motivated when it’s difficult to reach your dreams: Pursuing Dreams is Like an Iceberg. Most People Only See the Tip of it.
From now on and on a weekly basis – on Sunday evenings is great – write the next three very most important actions to take during the coming week.
The only way you will break out of a sense of ‘sameness’ and through the resistance to transform your life is if you work to become so inspired that you want to change. This exercise, if applied effectively, will enable this. All the people who have achieved great things did so by allowing themselves to dream really big yet then took consistent tiny, tiny daily actions.
Building habits is all about the small things you do consistently, here’s another article about How to Program Your Mind to Build the Habit You Want
If you apply this exercise, you will see results. You’ll see things beginning to shift, things beginning to move. This will empower you and before long you’ll begin to see your dream lifestyle begin to form before your eyes.
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