When you’re dealing with a broken heart, the only way to get over it is to let go of the pain. In order to let go, you must face it, head on.

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” – Bess Myerson

Isn’t it ironic that it can take only one instant to fall deeply in love but it can take a long time to fall out of love? It’s all about you, not your ex. You are broken and the only one who is going to fix it is you. 

Liken it to breaking a limb. Your body has to heal, and it takes time. Someone else cannot do it for you. It’s the same with a broken heart. You have to heal it.

In a nutshell, it’s all centered around three little words: Let it go. This is how:

1. Clearly define your motives right now.

Are they to get over this person? Are they to get even with them? Are they to win this person back? The only way to get over your broken heart is to let go and move on. If you believe that you will feel better when they hurt like you’re hurting, or when they come back to you, you will not be able to move on. So set your mind straight right now that you can and you will overcome your broken heart yourself.

2. Remove the remnants.

Nothing stings more than waking up first thing in the morning and seeing a picture of your ex on your bedside, or looking at your phone and seeing their face as your wallpaper. Remove all reminders from your daily life. This doesn’t mean throw them away. It simply means to pack them up for now so that no reminders hit you in the face.

3. Relieve, not relive the pain.

That gnawing pain that infiltrates every ounce of your being doesn’t have to consume you. You don’t want to go to work or go out and socialize. You want to shut everything out because you’re so hurt you have no idea how you’re going to pull out of it. You have a choice: You can spend the next few months, years, or your lifetime trudging your way through, or you can face the pain. There’s no way around it. You have to walk straight through it. This is the when the pain begins subsiding.

4. Putting out the fire instead of fueling it.

You are broken—angry, sad, frustrated, alone, depressed, etc. The last thing you want or need is more humiliation. Should you beg for reconciliation? Maybe threaten them? Or go find them at that party? You know, the one they just posted a picture of on Facebook, smiling away looking as if they’ve completely forgotten you. You could confront them in public and ask them, “How could you?” You could blow up their phone, email and social media accounts. The end result is more hurt, anger, humiliation…and pain. Protect yourself: Let it go.

5. Take a pity pot moment.

At first, you’re going to want do this every single day. Sit in your brokenness. Let it come up. Feel it. Cry if you need to. Then, envision putting it into a helium balloon and letting it go. There you go, you just released it and now you can start your day.

6. That was then, this is now.

As you go about your days you could be doing fine, and then you see a couple holding hands, or see a place that you frequented with your ex and the hurt seeps in and tries to overtake your entire being. When something or someone triggers a flashback, just think: that was then, but this is now. Let it go.

7. Listen to mood-enhancing music.

Nothing is more heart wrenching than listening to the same music or watching the same TV programs as you did with your ex. Only listen to new, upbeat music and TV programs. Lifetime TV is out for a while! When you’re in public, and you cannot turn the station, use point #6 and let it go.

8. Sweat it out.

Literally! Work out. Exercising stimulates mood-enhancing endorphins, is productive and healthy both physically and emotionally, and serves as a release for pent-up emotions. It’s the safest and healthiest way to get even with the hurt your ex has laid upon you. Pow! Take that! Feel better?

9. Don’t hold back.

Many relationships that fail do so because one or both individuals weren’t experiencing the freedom to grow or to truly be themselves. What did you hold back when you were with your ex? Do it now!

10. Have a change of scenery.

It’s time to let go of the old hangouts that you and your ex frequented together. Go to a different place to get your morning coffee, or to buy groceries, or shop for clothes. Establish your own turf where mutual friends won’t be telling you about how awesome your ex is doing, about their new relationship, or feel the need to ask you questions.

11. Laugh out loud.

Laughing promotes happiness. It’s scientifically proven that when you laugh, it stimulates endorphins that lift your mood. Are you worried about seeming fake? Consider this: If your heart weren’t broken, would you be smiling right now and laughing at that joke or situation? If the answer is yes, let the broken heart go. Laugh a little. Smile a lot!

12. Fill the void with you

Just because your heart has been torn to shreds, it does not mean that you’re worthless or hopeless. Use this time to get to know and rely upon you. You have to live with you for the rest of your life. Learn about yourself inside and out, and most of all, depend upon you for your happiness. That way, if and when you ever have your heart broken again, you will bounce back much more easily.

Enduring a broken heart is just like dealing with grief. There are seven stages to grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance. You will likely feel all of these, perhaps more than once. At the beginning of this article, there were three key words given that are paramount to healing a broken heart. In all circumstances, all emotions and all future endeavors, remember these three words always: Let it go. If you take these words on board and face your pain, you will find that you can heal from your broken heart faster than you think. 

 Learn more about how to take good care of yourself while healing from a broken heart.

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