Parties and social gatherings can be great for you to meet new friends, but if your shyness prevents from being able to talk to people, then it’s gonna be hard to make friends with anyone. In this article, I want to share with you a set of effective techniques on how to overcome shyness at a party or social get together. Be sure to practice these the next time you’re out.
Negative thoughts are at the root of the problem, so the only way to stop dwelling on them is to replace them by something else. That’s why it’s a great way to focus outside of yourself, rather than run negative thoughts over and over.
If you want to get out of your head, you can ask yourself questions that will get your mind to focus outwardly. Try asking yourself things like: “What’s interesting here?” or “What do I find interesting in this place?”
If you get shy, a better way to feel good is to avoid staying up and facing the most crowded place. Instead, try to stand so you’re facing a less crowded part of the room.
Since shyness results in over-stimulation of your brain, you need to give yourself less things to focus on. This will inevitably calm you, even if you’re in a very crowded place. As soon as you’re not really paying attention to the crowd, you don’t really feel the pressure.
Shyness also comes from putting too much pressure on yourself to be interesting and impressive. If you want to feel more comfortable, try a technique that most successful communicators use.
This is about talking and acting in a way that is more random, and not that intelligent. Speak as though you’re not sure of a lot of things, or as if you’re too tired to talk about serious subjects. This creates a certain comfortable energy around you, and it encourages low-key conversations. It makes people see you as a regular and open-minded person, not a snob.
Another great way to overcome shyness at a party is to get there early and talk to anyone you find. Go early, order something, talk with the staff or the bartender. Make yourself “at home” before everyone else comes. This simple switch will make it ten times easier for you to feel comfortable throughout the night.
As more and more folks come to join, you’ll be increasingly getting comfortable with the number of people. This is mainly because you warmed up and prepared your mood for conversation.
Another aspect of parties that can make you shy is the idea that every one knows one another. This impression is usually false. Popular and loud people tend to get more attention, and if you focus on them, it’s easy to get that impression.
At the same time, if you notice others, you’ll see that there are people who come alone, and hope to be able to meet anyone. If they look friendly but hesitant to talk to anyone, go to them and ask a basic question, and see if they’re open to talking.
A great way to feel comfortable at a party is to avoid feeling as though you have to stay. If you’ve been invited by someone, for example, it’s good to state that you might be obligated to leave soon, because you have another thing to do. That thing can be anything, and it will make you overcome your shyness by knowing that, at least you can get out if you feel too nervous.
If you want to learn more techniques for overcoming shyness and meeting new people, I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter below.
In it, I’ll show you the best techniques and strategies for meeting and making friends. I’ll also share with you new tips for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you.
See you there.
– Paul Sanders
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