Why Chasing Money Is Worse Than Dogs Chasing Cars
May 2 by Joel Zaslofsky in Money | 180 Shares
We’ve all been there before and many of us are there right now.
And where would that be? Probably not on vacation, enjoying an experience to remember or working to improve our health.
We’re chasing money.
Many cultures preach that once you have a good income stream or a certain amount of money built up then good things will follow. Things like going to great restaurants, taking exotic trips, creating a home immersed in entertainment options, and freedom from the fear you’ll have to take a hand out.
Fact: Money is the primary pursuit for most of us from the time we finish high school to the time we retire.
Is this relentless chase the only way it can be or should be? You might not like my answer but you will get some actionable steps to improve your relationship with money.
The Ugly Parallel
Ever watched a cartoon or YouTube clip of a dog chasing a car? Even if they catch it they don’t exactly win a medal. Even worse, sometimes the dog gets permanently harmed in the process.
A human parallel comes from reflecting on this quote by the Joker in the movie The Dark Knight.
“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it!”
Do you see your relationship with money in this quote? Don’t feel bad if you do. I certainly used to but I’ve learned a mindset that helps combat the desire for the constant pursuit of money. Try some of these steps to alter your beliefs about it and help yourself grow into positive behavior and habit change.
1. Say This Phrase Out Loud: “More money will make things better”. According to research, this is one of the most common beliefs among Americans (and I imagine people in other countries). Now say it a second time. Is it any more convincing? If you have a negative reaction to this experience the feelings when you say “happiness can be achieved with less or no money”. Which one of these statements resonates more?
2. Realize Why You’re Often Stressed: Did you run out of time to exercise this week because of your work hours? Were you racing around so fast that you didn’t have time to eat well? And did you prioritize your commitment to making money higher than your family and friends? Saying yes to any of these questions generates stress in all of us. Not surprisingly, the American Psychological Association found that money is the biggest cause of stress by far. To prove this isn’t just an American problem an international Reader’s Digest poll asked people in 16 countries what their biggest cause of stress was. The runaway answer? Money.
3. Ask Yourself What Role Money Plays in Life: So many people are too busy to assess the role of money in their life. I view money as the future ability to buy products and services that fulfill the needs of my family, friends, community, and charities I support. Just to give a couple of examples, two unfortunate paths in life I see people leading look like:
Money –> vacation –> relaxation/adventure –> happiness
Money –> buying future free time –> satisfaction with life
An alternate mindset is where money is at the end of the path instead of the start. After all, money is a by-product at the end of the path for people living out their core values (a.k.a. the happiest and healthiest).
4. Define Why You Chase Money: Getting and having money is not a bad thing. It’s not inherently evil and the reality is we all need it. But try brief exercise though. Write down five good reasons why you pursue money. Pause for a few minutes and actually write them down. Do you like what you see? It the time spent and priority assigned to getting money more important than other things you value in life?
My challenging you to find the “why” behind your relationship with money is for a sincere reason. This quote from the Goldberg and Lewis research team sums it up well.
“[People] have become so indoctrinated with the idea that having money is important, that they no longer question why. They are unaware that perhaps what they are truly seeking is an increase in self-respect, or security, or freedom, or love, or power.”
Treat Yourself with Respect
Your relationship with money could be an issue of balance but most likely it’s an issue of priorities or not knowing why you want it. Give yourself the respect you deserve by being more mindful about money than a dog is about chasing a car. I don’t want anyone getting hurt by a reckless pursuit and I hope you don’t either.
Which of these steps works best for you? Are there other steps you’ve successfully used to stop chasing money and improve your relationship with it? Please share a comment below.
(Photo credit: Man Chasing Falling Money via Shutterstock)
Great post. I wish more people thought to question their motivations, and not just in regard to money!
Hi there Shanna,
Sometimes you can get too good at questioning your own (and others) motivations. I know I’ve been there and it can be paralyzing and self-defeating. There’s certainly some “right” ways to do it though and once you know what works for you it’s a huge tool in the box to help live a better life. Sounds like you might have already found those useful tools yourself.
Some great points Joel, we are too quick to want money but it is not the money we want but the freedom or experiences it can give us. It’s a good reminder to adjust and focus on the right things
Hi Ciara,
Hopefully people find this more than just a reminder and use a step or two to improve their relationship with money. Freedom and the freedom to have experiences is huge for so many of us if we stop and realize why we need (or want) money. Thanks for the insightful comment!
awesome tips… totally agree, most people are just living by default, doing it, life, because they think they should without knowing why.
This is so true. Money is necessary, true. Money makes life easier, also true. But all we need is a comfortable, stress-free life where you don’t have to worry about paying bills and can enjoy a few luxuries, and that really does not need THAT MUCH money. Of course our definition of luxuries differ, but still, money – as far as peace of mind and happiness is concerned – is required in a much less amont than most people think.
And just because you have money, doesn’t mean all the other problems are going to disappear. So absolutely the wrong thing to chase.
Hi Dolly,
I’ve seen the web version of a number of head nods with this post today. I’m glad you agree with the points I was trying to get through and already come here with a self-aware state. Now, to find some people who completely disagree with me so I can see what obstacles people face with developing a healthy relationship with money. :)
“Money is necessary, true. Money makes life easier, also true”
It is true sometimes.
Hey Joel, great post! I like your ideas about really examining our relationship with the pursuit of money. In actuality, studies show that having more money does increase happiness, but not on a permanent basis. For that, we need to continue to prioritize what’s really important in life and pursue THAT.
Changing my relationship with money is a big one for me right now. For the longest time, I was so unhappy because of money – I always felt like I needed more. And when I got it, I took on more expenses! It’s crazy how messed up our relationships with money can be. Talk about dysfunction!
I love your steps to improving that relationship. #3 especially resonated for me – asking what role money plays in my life. What do I need money FOR? I think so often we chase money just to have it – because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Have more money? But what do you want that money for – clothes, a bigger house, a nicer car? And ultimately, will those things make you happy?
You’ve definitely given me some food for thought. Thanks Joel!
Hi Kaylee,
It’s hard retraining the brain to see money through a fresh lens, isn’t it? Decades of advice about money, most of it sincere and some of it even from family and friends, can make changing your relationship with it incredibly hard. Awareness is the first step and I was hoping to raise it in some people who read this. Once we’re aware of a potential or real issue THEN we can start to take action on it.
I am on a quest to make peace with my relationship with money – and it’s not such an easy 1-2-3 thing to do! As a young adult I became disillusioned with the culture of greed and doing it all for money, and decided that wealth was not about money. And it isn’t – but there is a balance, like you say. Money doesn’t buy the most important things in life – healthy relationships, a connection with each other and the Earth. But, I’ve realized that being stuck in a poverty consciousness does not serve me either. It’s a complicated issue, that’s for sure.
Hi Sarah,
Ever feel like you have the opposite of money worship? That would be money avoidance but I could be reading way too much into your comment. I have resources that help with the opposite of being like a dog chasing a car so let me know if you want me to share some.
Love the analogy of money and dogs chasing cars. What does one do if they actually got it? I have on so many occasion known people or observed people who have and abundance of money and are not happy. It really isn’t about the money.
I moved to Hawaii a little over a year ago. My biggest reason was to slow down, enjoy what was around me, find my time, my peace, my life path and live with less. Which meant I didn’t need as much money. It did take me defining that out loud and then taking the giant step to actually have faith in myself and do it.
I’m so glad I did. When one lets go enough money presents itself…. at least when we are talking to those who actively chase it with intent.
Someone moves to Hawaii and feels like they don’t need as much money? Now THAT should be major international news. :)
You’re obviously doing something right Jt. Way to go!
Love the mind picture of money and dogs! Sometimes I wonder what comes first – the chicken or the egg question. If I didn’t have worry about money – what balance my life would have…or if I was in true balance- money wouldn’t matter. Great article.
I choose to be happy.
The minute I get the amount of money required to sustain my basic needs for the rest of my life is when I get to be happy? What is required to acquire that money? Is there a formula available? Is that buy low and sell high? Do what you love and money will just appear? Befriend everybody who has money?
Close your eyes, breathe through your nostrils, feel that air caress the outer layer of those nostrils, quit getting interrupted by your thoughts. Did you lose all your money gambling? You are now broke and failed your family, friends? You are tired and are in bad health? Everybody is after you?
Sure, you can chose to chase after money to solve your money problems with the hope that it will solve all your other problems. Or you can chose to be happy, right now and for every right now thereafter.